November Monthly Chat

[Brisen]

It's November!  March is getting closer!  Woot!

[sh118]

Thank Goodness!  Not that I am wanting to rush thru this pregnancy (not sure I'm ready for two little ones!), but my lower back has been hurting for weeks already.  Had my first appt. with a different OB yesterday and am much happier with him...seems laid back about everything, and listened to me a lot better than my previous.  Have our u/s appt. this Friday, and still haven't decided whether or not to find out the sex!

[lizsky]

I'm glad its November!  I think the holidays will be extra fun this year now that my DD is old enough to be excited about and participate in baking, and decorating :)  

How is everyone feeling?  

Cameragirl, I'm sorry your relatives are being overly intrusive about your family size.  I've gotten some comments, "oh its nice that you guys will finish the baby stage soon" and "aren't you glad that you won't have to be pregnant again" and "I bet you really want a boy since you have a girl"(we don't know the sex yet)...  I try to ignore it and just say something vague along the lines of "who knows what the future will bring."  Honestly, I would love to have another one or two after this, so I hope to be pregnant again.  I don't know if they see me as too old to continue having kids (early 30s ) or if they are just attached to the idea of two children being the perfect number?   

It seems like there's something about pregnant women that brings out everyone's desire to comment...maybe its because having babies and being in a family are such universal experiences that it makes people feel like they have a bond with me and therefore can tell me all their opinions and experiences.  I understand the desire to share, but I wish people had better filters!  Whether its my relatives or strangers on the street, its amazing how many things people say that I think are totally inappropriate!  If someone wants to comment on my appearance, "you look wonderful" is the ONLY appropriate comment in my opinion.  Discussions about my belly size, weight gain, probability of twins, looking like I'm going to pop are not!  And if people want to comment on family size after seeing me and my DD, "congratulations" is a great comment.  "You don't know what your in for" "you are crazy for having another baby so soonI" are so unhelpful!  I used to think it was because I live in the city and people can be very nosy and up in each other's business, but it seems to happen to women everywhere!  

[cameragirl]

You know the strange part? Most of the comments that drive me a little nutty are from people that really have no close connection to us. That comment about family size was from my sister's MIL, not even my own. Our parents haven't said anything about closing up shop. I'll have just turned 29 when I have this LO, so I don't think it is an age thing. I know my MIL is worried about me passing on SPS to the kids, but it has been around for a long time and NO genetic link has been found. If it had, we probably would have picked back up on our adoption journey instead.

My grandmother...well, she's just likes to ACT like she's really involved. She really doesn't hang around DH and I much, because we don't listen to her BS. Around the time we got married over 7 years ago, DH politely told her in the middle of tangent that he didn't want to talk politics, religion, or money at any family gatherings. Since then, we're on the bad list, if you know what I mean. I don't really care if she thinks I should have a c-section. She told me recently that she NEVER got morning sickness because she went to nursing school, and they teach that pregnancy is a natural thing. Too bad that she didn't go to nursing school until all of her kids were teenagers. Needless to say, I don't really pay attention to her opinion.

Anyways... DH and I made a TON of jelly today. I picked a ton of lemon grass and pineapple sage yesterday from the garden. We made three infusions - pineapple sage, pineapple sage flowers, and lemon balm. The pineapple sage ended up getting tossed because it smelled horrible. The others were pretty good, though. The sage flower jelly was a beautiful light red with a tart, fruity flavor. The lemon balm was a nice yellow, and it tastes like lemons and honey. We had some lemon balm infusion left, but need to buy more jars and pectin, so that got frozen for now. We'll probably make a bunch more when DH gets paid. I'm planning on making some vanilla sugar then, as well. We have a bunch of beans leftover from making extract that need to be used up somehow.

[LalaithYamainu]

I for one am happy to have passed the 20 week mark - it seems to have been the magic number in getting rid of morning sickness.

I'm only just starting to show enough that family can tell, so I haven't had ANY strangers say anything to me... and the family's been pretty good.

Well... my aunt went on a rant once about how irresponsible it is of me to plan on homeschooling, since my mother tried and it was a disaster that ruined my brother's life, and I have the same personality, so there's no way I can succeed....

Luckily, she's pretty good about ranting once, and never mentioning it again - she just needs her opinion heard, not necessarily followed.

The rest of my family, while over the moon about the baby (this is the first grandkid on my side of the family), has been rather... wary of some of the choices we're making.  No ones really comfortable with homeschooling, even if they don't say anything, and things like cloth diapering ("why on EARTH would you want to????" in the words of my grandfather) and co-sleeping get uncomfortable looks, and "well, I hope it all works out the way you want it to."  Let's not even get into EC. :D

There's a general sense that I don't know what I'm getting myself into, and that I'll do things more "normally" once the baby gets here.   But, I'm pretty young (early 20's), and most of my family hasn't really grasped that I'm not a flighty teenager anymore. :D

DH's family, on the other hand, are sure I'm gonna fail.  This is the eighth grandkid on that side, and so I'm getting plenty of little comments about "are you sure you want to... have you thought about..." from my sister in laws.  They mean well, of course, and in some ways they're uber supportive.

But they view themselves as the most crunchy mamas in existence, and if they couldn't make something work, then it's not possible.  One wasn't able to breastfeed any of her kids longer than a month, another tried to cosleep, but had to move the baby to a crib in the interest of sleep, and the last (most "crunchy" of them all) tried to cloth diaper and EC, but failed utterly, and now views such things as beyond even the most dedicated parent....

Several times I've been blatantly told "We're really looking forward to seeing if you succeed or not".  Erm.... thanks???

[cameragirl]

@Lalaith - I got a lot of hell for choosing to home school, as well. I have a lot of teachers in the family, and they took it as a personal attack. In reality, it has nothing to do with teachers or how I perceive them. It does, however, have a lot to do with how the ADMINISTRATORS poorly manage schools, how they require teaching to tests, how there is little time for the arts, and the fact that my advanced learner just wouldn't have as many chances to succeed in public school. She is able to work at her own pace while home schooling, meaning she'll be done reviewing K math by Christmas. My mom was a little unsure of it at first, but once she saw the curriculum, she was fine with it. My older sister said some nasty things about how DD would be horribly behind, etc. She finally apologized to my husband, but not to me. DD is ahead, and the resource teacher said to keep doing what we're doing, because she's doing great. As far as I'm concerned, forget the downers. Do what you do, do your best, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You can't dwell on their nastiness, though. That's a surefire path to failure.

[3timesamom]

21 weeks! WHOOT! I must say though I have written in this thread and its not showing it to me:(

As for being excited that its November? Not so much! LOL Its getting colder and colder!! That means heating bills and snow storms!

My apmnt is tomorrow and baby is still moving like crazy. Well I am off. I have kiddos to get off the bus but I wanted to check in. I do swear I wrote something!

[Brisen]

Lalaith -- have you been having morning sickness up until 20 weeks?  That's awful.  I hope it's smooth sailing from here on in.

3timesamom -- this is the first fall when I've really not been looking forward to winter.  Usually I'm either excited or neutral.  Now, I'm just dreading all the extra time that snowpants and stuff takes up, having wet outerwear hanging all over the place, and being cold and achy when we go out.  My skin is already dry and sore.  Ugh.  I'm already getting grumpy with having to take the little boys' jackets off and on when they get in and out of their carseats.  It's going to be really annoying when I'm bigger and it's colder.

I've been slightly stressed about how little the baby is moving.  I'm 19 weeks, so I know it's not supposed to be consistent yet.  But a couple of weeks ago, there was so much movement, and it was very strong.  In the last 48 hours, I've only felt a few little pushes.  They have all been down pretty low, so I'm guessing it's just the baby's position.  I have thought about calling my mw, but I don't think I've gone a full 24 hours with no movement, and I'm not far enough along that I should be feeling kicks regularly.  But it's hard not to worry.  

[chels_c2000]

Hi everyone, I have been following you guys but haven't posted in such a long time. So, I am going to try to jump back in.

I will try to do personals next time but I will just jump into the convo for now.

I can totally relate to people commenting about family size. This is number 3 for us and our kids are close together. My oldest just turned three in Sept. My parents are the worst. On top of thinking 2 is ideal. They think it we have them so close together, they won't get to invest as much time into each on as a individual. Good thing it is not about them.

Our family doesn't agree with a lot of the things we do as well .We don't talk a lot about it with DH family because the gossip is crazy. With my family, I just deal with the comments. When I told my Mom we weren't vac until our son was at least 2 and then only doing a few. She told me she was going to take him to get vac. Crazy! That is just one of the things that really get to people.

My biggest issue with what people say about this pregnancy is they automatically say something about me having dd in our van on the way to hospital. "You better make it to the hopsital this time." "Are you having this one in the van as well?" I really just want to tell people we are just planning on birthing in the van again since it went so well last time. In fact, we haven't really told a lot of people for this reason. It is so annoying and it will only get worse as the pregnancy continues. I am a little concerned about it myself but I don't want to talk to everyone about it.

Anyway, my big u/s is next Thursday. For some reason, I am a little nervous about it. Also, this is the first time we aren't finding out! Have any of you had both experiences? Which would you prefer, finding out or not finding out the sex?

[Brisen]

Chelsea, nice to see you again!  Sorry you're getting those obnoxious comments.  I would do exactly what you said -- deadpan it, and say yup, we're planning a vanbirth.  We feel it's safer than a homebirth, since we're already in the van to head to the hospital if any complications arise.  :P

My iron supplements seem to be kicking in; I managed to get stuff done in the kitchen most of the day yesterday with only a short break to put the toddler down for a nap, and then again to eat a big snack before the kids came home from school.  Of course, I was useless once they were home, and dinner was late, and I took a lot of little breaks on the couch.  But I managed to get some canning (for us and for Christmas gifts) and baking done.

I was distracted yesterday evening and today because I'm getting concerned about how little movement I'm feeling.  If I lie on my back, I can feel where the baby is.  I had been feeling a bit of wiggling down low, but this morning, I think I feel the baby laying kind of across and close to the top of my uterus.  I stayed in bed for a while trying to feel something, then got up and had a glass of orange juice and a couple of mini choc. bars for good measure.  I laid back down, could still feel hard bumps of baby, but no movement.  I jiggled and poked him, nothing.  Now, once I'm sitting up or walking around, sometimes I think I feel something, so I stop and concentrate and feel with my hand, and nothing.  It's driving me batty.  I was feeling such clear movement and even feeling kicks from the outside.  Now I'm back to playing "baby or gas?" again.  I know it's too early for a lack of movement to be a concern, but it's stressing me out.  And it doesn't help that it's Saturday today, so dh and the kids are home.  Dh is working his butt off outside to get work done.  I should be bossing the younger kids around in here, getting the house cleaned up and laundry done, but all I want to do is lie down on the couch with my hands on my belly and will this baby to move.

(I came here to write a post without any complaining for once, and I totally failed.  I'm usually not this negative, but this seems to have turned into my whining outlet.  Sorry.)

[cameragirl]

We had our hospital tour this morning. I was a little bummed that we didn't get to see the post partum rooms since they were full, but oh well. Oh, and dude that reeked of pot and cigarettes - GROSS. I support your freewill, but seriously, don't pack yourself into a tiny room full of preggos when you reek. Ick.

We were supposed to go to my friend's engagement party, but I was up feeling icky last night. Then for some reason, I agreed to let the neighbor girl sleep over. Why? Why oh why? They're already crazy, probably from the cabin fever. It dropped from the 80's last week to FREEZING cold today. I sent DH to the kitchen to make some play dough with them...hopefully they cam down for a little bit.

[LalaithYamainu]

@Brisen.  Yup.  20 weeks is when the morning (noon and night) sickness finally ended.  I lost 26 lbs total, and had to move in with my parents at eight weeks because DH was scared to leave me home alone.  At 16 weeks it at least got to where I was only nauseas for around 6-8 hours a day, instead of the WHOLE day.

I've spent most of the past four months cursing my husband and swearing we're never having another one.

I've only just started feeling baby move in the last week or two - apparently my placenta's in the way?  Anywho, it's so exciting, because I have SERIOUS miscarriage paranoia, and it helps to feel him and know he's alive.  If I had a doppler, I'd be listening to the heartbeat constantly, just for reassurance.  DH is pouting, cause he can't feel the movements yet - doc said within the next month he should.  It feels like such a long way away.

It's finally starting to seem real!  Between finally getting a baby bump (even if you still can't tell with my clothes on) and feeling baby move, I'm finally starting to believe this is really happening, instead of it just all being in my head (or just a really, really bad case of the flu).  But that's normal, I guess, when it takes so long to get pregnant.

Lol, when I saw the positive pregnancy test I started screaming - not in excitement, but because I had genuinely come to believe that I was incapable of conceiving, and I was convinced that the stress of everything had made me snap, and I was seeing things!  Dh had been asleep at the time.... he thought I was being murdered.

Good times.

[3timesamom]

Cameras girl, a sleepover is a sure fire way to put your crazy hat on;) LOL I don't do them near as much as we use to. Besides they aren't really special if they happen all the time!

Brisen, It seems like your feeling something right? Just not as much as you would like? Do you know the position of the placenta? With Sethie it was anterior and I couldn't feel him to the point of going to hear his HB. I NEVER really could feel him much at all even in the last few days.Our new LO is still breach (which is fine!) and I feel all the kicks down very low. I do feel them daily and all day. However I am 21 weeks. I began feeling baby daily at 18weeks but some days I couldn't feel baby if I was busy. Try not to worry. MOST babies do make it:)

Chels Welcome......This van stuff makes me think I need to hear more! Birth is such fun:) I would totally tell people we would have the baby in the van! LOL I am like that though!

AFM, Yesterday I ran into DH's cousin and he told me to get my tubes tied. LOL Now hes a guy and obviously that was rude but it just makes me laugh! I told him that if DH gets a vasectomy we are done. If not then we will probably have baby 5.  He said I should get my tubes tied again. I then said I have had 4 babies I think I did my part. I guess it would be one thing if I was a bad mother or something but we take care of our own children;)That is probably the rudest thing that has been said to me though:)

I had the midwife apmnt today. I go back at 25 weeks and then the next time I go back is the begining of the third trimester and the glucola test. Crazy huh?! Also my BP was 128/76 today which is down from 138/80 since last time. All I did was quit seeing the OB. So I am off to start my magnesium this week because she would like to see it go down some more. We will see next month if I succeed. I have to wonder though if it comes out high because I HATE having it taken! I mean HATE.

So just curious what supplements are you taking? My midwife has me on prenatal. She doesn't like my target brand ones but that is what I am using. I am on fish oil (also target brand) and I am now on magnesium along with d3 in a liquid form. I am also drinking the RRL tea. I am just wondering if everyone else is taking the same stuff???

Alright off to watch raising hope:)

[3timesamom]

Lalaiath, we posted at the same time;) I'm sorry you had such a rough start! The movement does make it a lot more bearable:)

[cameragirl]

The got quite after DH got the play dough made, and then her parents took her shopping. I think she just got back, so then it is dinner and hopefully some quiet play. We'll see.

[LalaithYamainu]

I'm on a prescription prenatal vitamin, though I haven't taken it in over a week... oops.  I was religious about taking it when I was so sick, but now that I'm eating regularly, it's sorta fallen by the wayside. (don't tell my ob! or dh for that matter.  or my dad.  or... well, anyone.)

[3timesamom]

Cameras girl, I am glad you got some quiet! I couldn't pay enough to get that around here lately!

I hardly remember the prenantal's. I am trying to remember to take everything every day but if I forget I figure its just one day out of my life:) (Or 7!)

[Brisen]

I think I have been feeling something.  I guess part of the problem is that for days at a time, any movement I felt wasn't strong enough that I was sure it was movement.  But yesterday afternoon & evening it picked up enough that I'm pretty sure it was the baby.  I've had some nudges this afternoon, too.  I think his spine is still facing out, so anything I feel is not too distinct, just bumps and taps way down low/in.  But there has been enough of that that I'm no longer freaking out.

Today was the first time in a few weeks that everyone was feeling well enough for all of us to go to church, which was nice.  The weather is lovely here; hopefully we'll manage to at least get out for a walk, and maybe even make it to a playground before it starts to cool off again.

[LalaithYamainu]

Do you think the baby's just flipping around, and you can only feel kicks when he's in a certain position?  That's how it is for me, I know...  I go through periods where I feel him constantly, and then ages where I don't feel anything.  I asked the ob about friday, and she said due to my placenta placement, I can only feel kicks in certain areas, so if he kicks somewhere else, I can't feel him.

[cameragirl]

Btw, do we have a list of due dates (or guess dates, really) anywhere? I'm up to making one if anyone else is interested.