Temporarily Homeschool? (Added info, any comments welcome.)

[SugarAndSun]

Hello, 

I could really use some advice. 

I have considered homeschooling in that past, but found an awesome private school where ds thrives. They are very progressive and design each year's curriculum around the current students, grow a garden, have the kids prepare lunch for each other, raise chickens for eggs, etc.

Well, ds2 is not really thriving there (or anywhere for that matter). He is really upset all the time and has problems with just about everyone. I don't think I could find a more tolerant school for him. I think public school would be really rough.

He is only five though and is dealing with some issues. He is severely speech delayed, which means most kids and even teachers don't understand him. He is also VERY disagreeable. If someone says white, he says black, etc. 

Well, I am thinking of taking him out for the rest of this year and homeschooling him. I would really want to send him back next year though since I work and couldn't do this long term. I teach at a university, so I could change my schedule for next semester and he could spend some time with dh and we could make it work.

Now, my question is... will be become more sheltered and less interactive if I keep him home. He is already really uncomfortable, etc. around other people. Also, am I sending the message that his bad behavior got him out of there and that he got to stay home. Will he repeat it when he goes back next year? I also know that the school has a hard time with him and I'm nervous that if we take him out, they won't let him back... which will mea public school. 

Advice?

ADDED INFO:

I have to clarify an earlier point... he thrives with me. I have little to no problems when we are together and can honestly say I don't think I ever even got frustrated or angry with him before he started school last year. He was always my easy going one who went with the flow while my slightly older ds was bouncing around.

That said, I guess I'm afraid they won't let him back in. I'd love for him to ultimately go to the school and would be pretty sad if he ended up in public school, even though we have an top rated public school. His school is very progressive and simply an amazing place with mostly amazing people.

I'm still thinking... any thoughts would be appreciated. 

Edited by SugarAndSun - 11/6/11 at 2:45pm

[Imakcerka]

This might work out well for him.  We took our girls out of school when things did not seem to be going well with for them and we sent them back confident and happier this year.  Maybe some one on one time with you guys will be what he needs. 

[JollyGG]

Could you work on some of the issues that are going on during that time period? Would you have the resources to get him speech therapy and even perhaps some play therapy time to work on communication?

If you think that you can realistically address some of the issues it sounds like a great idea to take him out of school and give him the space to work on the things he needs to work on without the stress of school expectations.

If he's receiving speech therapy or other services at school I would hesitate to pull him if that meant he would loose that chance. Honestly at 5 I wouldn't even worry about academics when homeschooling I would just work on the speech and social component. For me that would mean therapy and lots and lots of supervised home school functions where I could be there and guide him through the social piece.

My daughter is 5 and near impossible to understand unless you know the context as well. She is getting speech in school and unless I could give that to her in another setting I wouldn't take her from it.

[SugarAndSun]

He is in private school, but receives speech from the public school. I'm sure he would still be entitled to speech. 

I need to explore the idea of play therapy. 

[moominmamma]

I would view this as an issue of readiness. His speech difficulties are still profound enough that he cannot integrate well within a large-group-learning environment. Once his speech has progressed (not to mention his maturity) he will be far more ready and able to cope within group environments. Holding him out at this point makes a lot of sense to me. Of course you would want to continue to expose him to outside-the-home social situations. I would try to find things that stretch him a little but are still almost within his comfort zone. As you've seen, pushing him too far into situations (like school) that he's not ready for simply makes him miserable and oppositional. Finding the happy medium will probably be easier while homeschooling. Look to after-school extra-curriculars or homeschool groups, an hour or two or three at a time and smaller groups where you can assist with his communication challenges if need be.

Miranda

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by SugarAndSun 

Well, ds2 is not really thriving there (or anywhere for that matter). He is really upset all the time and has problems with just about everyone.... He is severely speech delayed, which means most kids and even teachers don't understand him. He is also VERY disagreeable. If someone says white, he says black, etc. 

What ever you decide to do about his education this year, I think there are enough flags there for a full neuro-psychological evaluation. Although speech problems can occur on their own, coupled with the fact that he doesn't thrive anywhere and is "very disagreeable," they could be part of a larger problem. Figuring out what that larger problem is could be the first step to real help for him.

Taking him out of school changes where he is, but it doesn't address the underlying problem.

[Storm Bride]

I have to agree with both of the two previous posters.

First of all, I think taking him out of school is more about readiness than anything else. He's only five, and it sounds as though he's simply not ready for a school environment yet.

However, the speech delay and issues getting along with others do sound as though they could be signs of an underlying issue. I think Linda is on the right track when she suggests a full evaluation. He may "just" be behind the curve, but he may also have some special needs or underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

[SugarAndSun]

I have to clarify an earlier point... he thrives with me. I have little to no problems when we are together and can honestly say I don't think I ever even got frustrated or angry with him before he started school last year. He was always my easy going one who went with the flow while my slightly older ds was bouncing around.

That said, I guess I'm afraid they won't let him back in. I'd love for him to ultimately go to the school and would be pretty sad if he ended up in public school, even though we have an top rated public school. His school is very progressive and simply an amazing place with mostly amazing people.

I'm still thinking... any thoughts would be appreciated. 

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by SugarAndSun 

His school is very progressive and simply an amazing place with mostly amazing people.

That's terrific ... unless it doesn't fit your child. It's like buying shoes: the most beautiful, supple, supportive, well-made shoe is useless to you if it doesn't fit your foot. 

I guess your concern is that your ds may grow into this "perfectly good shoe" someday. But I'm guessing that you're keeping your older ds there. Wouldn't that continue to give you a bit of an "in" with the school? Could you talk to them about the issue? About possible withdrawal for the rest of the year, and possible re-enrolment in a year or two or three?

Miranda

[westslope]

It is absolutely a great idea to remove the stressor and get back to basics.  You want him to be happy and be able to cope well with the world, right?  It is okay to manipulate a young childs world to create succussful situations and attitudes.  Changing the childs attitude is everything, do it any way you can.  LUCK!

[AAK]

If it is a readiness issue, then would you enroll him next year as a kindergartener again? 

If you wouldn't be "repeating" kindergarten, you might also consider a part-time enrollment (if the school would allow it).  That way, he could stay connected with the kids so that he would be familiar with them next year.  He could have a chance to learn about the school environment and get used to the expectations of his behavior without it being something that he needs to maintain/deal with for the whole day.  I am assuming that the kindy class is all day, most private Ks that I know about are all day.  

Amy