Originally Posted by mambera
Agree with PPs that it is personality dependent but I just wanted to say hugs to you OP bc that must be very hard on you, to be doing the difficult job of parenting without getting the affection 'rewards' from your kid that sweeten the deal. I know you've had various struggles with your DS and my heart goes out to you, this issue (while not necessarily out of the ordinary) also strikes me as something that must be tough on you.
Yes... thank you.
pretty hard not having that 'reward'... I mean I know he loves me but sometimes you want to hear it, see it, feel it, you know? My friends talk about how their kids tell them "I love you" and "You look beautiful this morning" and give them hugs and kisses... that must be so amazing. Well, I know
it's amazing because my friends' kids are like that with me (well, not as much as with their parents of course!) It's hard feeling like I'm just... an object, in a way...
DS did need to be taught how to hug because he used to just lean in. He frequently avoids hugs altogether. Once or twice he has said "I love you too" without prompting but never completely spontaneously. He's hugged me maybe 2 times without prompting and kissed me once. In 2.5 years.
I know it's hard for him because when he does say "I love you too" or something, he says it in a different voice & won't look me in the eye, like he is guarding himself a bit. Oh well. It's ironic because like Momo123's DS, he is incredibly clingy but that rarely translates into actual affection. Figured DS wasn't the only one like this but was just curious how other toddlers are!!