Is The Happiest Baby on the Block a miracle breakthrough in infant care, or just a gimmick

[MrsSlocombe]

I'll state that I've only read a couple of chapters of the book so far, but I have seen and heard Dr. Karp interviewed about it, and he seems very interested in promoting his products.  (It's not enough to buy the books - get the DVDs, too!  Don't just use any white noise!  We sell CDs!)

If you are familiar with this book and the philosophy behind it, what are your thoughts?  Should I finish the book, and use the techniques?  The baby isn't coming till June;  I am just collecting information and trying to form a philosophy about newborn care, the one area of childcare in which I am not experienced.

[greenmulberry]

Well, DH and I watched the DVD in the hospital after our baby was born, and it was very helpful for us. We didn't know anything at all about babies and I appreciated learning some basic things to soothe a baby, and they did help.

[MrsSlocombe]

Oh, wow, in the hospital?  Did the doctors or nurses recommend that you view it?  (Has it become that much the standard?)

[Bokonon]

I found the book invaluable and think it should be required reading for all new parents.  :)  I think it is wonderful because it offers explanations on why newborns cry and why the techniques work.  It is a great alternative to the pro-CIO camp.

[hildare]

i agree with bokonon, but it didn't help us any, sadly.  nothing seemed to help the screaming for us but time.  and believe me, i tried everything.

[starling&diesel]

I love it.  Read the book with our first baby and have used the techniques ever since.  I totally swear by them.  Not a fan of his subsequent books though. I think his ideas around the "fourth trimester" are invaluable.

To each their own!

[kathrineg]

I loved it. We got the DVD in desperation a week or so after DS was born because my partner had zero baby soothing skills...it helped so much. The white noise for crying on the DVD is actually weirdly helpful for crying compared to other white noise we've tried. It's not really white noise, it's a special thing that sounds like an alien invasion!

I actually agree with him about the DVD and the book both being good--the DVD actually shows him doing the techniques and it's really nice to be able to watch and compare to what you're doing.

In terms of newborns, there isn't much of a philosophy to be had beyond "do what works" and it becomes quickly obvious what works and what doesn't. And every baby is different so what worked for me won't work for everybody.

Obviously you don't want to do anything harmful or CIO but I think that having too many ideals for the newborn stage is a recipe for unnecessary guilt.

Edited to add: I don't mean to criticize you for doing your research, I think it's great that you're looking into it and getting all your ducks in a row! I just wish someone had told me before I had my baby that having strong ideals would be really unhelpful. When I started being more flexible things got a hundred times easier for me, emotionally.

Good luck and congratulations!

[Friday13th]

We found somethings helpful with one child, some helpful with the second. I think with newborns it's less ideals and more arsenal of things to try while figuring out what your particular infant needs. It's also helpful to have a partner who has learned some tricks as well so when you're delirious with sleep deprivation and a screaming newborn and can't remember anything you read, they have something helpful to try out.

[greenmulberry]

Originally Posted by MrsSlocombe 

Oh, wow, in the hospital?  Did the doctors or nurses recommend that you view it?  (Has it become that much the standard?)

Yeah, in fact both the doctors and the nurses really thought it was a good idea for us to see it. We were clearly clueless and DD was very fussy at first! They had a DVD library of baby care stuff at the hospital.

It did not make her the happiest baby, but it just made me feel like we had some tools to try rather than just being like "OMG WTF do we do with this screaming thing!!!!!"

I think bouncing and shushing helped her. I never got the hang of swaddling but I think if I did she would have slept better, she just fought it so hard and I was soo tired.

[carmel23]

The DVDs are actually really helpful because often people don't want to read a book (I personally don't enjoy reading parenting books!) but will watch a DVD.  Te DVD *was* super helpful for my DH, too. 

I 've gotten the book from the library, and like it. It focuses on simple, practical solutions that work for most babies. 

[kathrineg]

We use Swaddle Mes with velcro instead of a blanket because once our little guy got stronger (like two weeks old) it was way too hard to swaddle him in a blanket.

[rinap]

We found the techniques helpful, but I was turned off by the implication that if the baby cries it's because you're doing something wrong. Have lots of ideas under your belt, certainly, but for some babies, you just have to hold them while they cry. (ideally trading off every ten minutes) until they're in a state such that things work. A crying baby doesn't mean you're a bad parent.

[McGucks]

I don't think any of it was miraculous, but we did find it helpful...it is the only DVD DH & I have watched in the past 19 months!  Part of what I liked was that it simply gave us different things to try.  I wondered when I watched the movie how many edits they had to do and what mountain of footage was discarded.

Not everything works for everybody.  I think it's good to have the strategies in your back pocket, though.  None of them are harmful...silly-looking, maybe, but not harmful.

I don't buy that it's a "miracle breakthrough," but I do buy that some of the things are pretty darn helpful.

[greenmulberry]

Originally Posted by rinap 

We found the techniques helpful, but I was turned off by the implication that if the baby cries it's because you're doing something wrong. Have lots of ideas under your belt, certainly, but for some babies, you just have to hold them while they cry. (ideally trading off every ten minutes) until they're in a state such that things work. A crying baby doesn't mean you're a bad parent.

The hospital had another DVD they pretty much forced us to watch that covered that. called "the period of purple crying" or something along those lines. The premise was pretty much "Some babies just cry and cry and cry, don't take it personally, and it's OK to set them down in a safe place and walk out of the room to take a breath if you feel like you are going to lose it".

I thought it was good to have seen that, because DD did just cry and cry sometime, and it was hard to take.

[MrsSlocombe]

Originally Posted by kathrineg 

I loved it. We got the DVD in desperation a week or so after DS was born because my partner had zero baby soothing skills...it helped so much. The white noise for crying on the DVD is actually weirdly helpful for crying compared to other white noise we've tried. It's not really white noise, it's a special thing that sounds like an alien invasion!
I actually agree with him about the DVD and the book both being good--the DVD actually shows him doing the techniques and it's really nice to be able to watch and compare to what you're doing.
In terms of newborns, there isn't much of a philosophy to be had beyond "do what works" and it becomes quickly obvious what works and what doesn't. And every baby is different so what worked for me won't work for everybody.
Obviously you don't want to do anything harmful or CIO but I think that having too many ideals for the newborn stage is a recipe for unnecessary guilt.
Edited to add: I don't mean to criticize you for doing your research, I think it's great that you're looking into it and getting all your ducks in a row! I just wish someone had told me before I had my baby that having strong ideals would be really unhelpful. When I started being more flexible things got a hundred times easier for me, emotionally.
Good luck and congratulations!

Oh, I didn't think you were criticizing me at all.  You're sweet to worry.  I do see your point that going in with a philosophy and sticking with it even if it doesn't work, would be a bad idea.  I'm mostly just looking for what seems best to try first.  The thing that concerns me about just seeing what works is that sometimes, things work, yet turn out to be bad.  For example, putting a baby on its belly supposedly works to help it sleep...except in those cases when it leads to SIDS.  Methods involving some form of CIO have been known to work...yet they apparently cause long-term problems, at least according to the current consensus (as well as the owners of this website).  I could find that swaddling and white noise work, only later to find out that this leads to chronic insomnia, anorexia, or bleeding gums.  That's why I find the research and justifications (e.g., the theory of the Fourth Trimester) comforting.  (It has to work.  It's science!)

I appreciate everyone else's answers, as well.  It's good to hear that most people had basically positive experiences with the methods.

[kathrineg]

There is a worry about hip dysplasia with swaddling which is why I tend to swaddle the legs more loosely and feel better with swaddle mes (the leg area is more of a sac that lets them put their legs in a frog position.

If you have a baby with reflux, you probably don't want them to sleep longer and have bigger meals--that's something that is put out there as a good thing in the DVD but when we were still working out DB's eating issues (he has a dairy allergy) he'd sleep a long time swaddled in the swing but sleeping through his early hunger feelings would leave him starving. He'd wake up really upset, swallow a bunch of air, eat too fast, throw up...it was much better for him to sleep lightly and wake up a lot for snacks.

White noise, the obvious concern is hearing damage. It also disrupts certain higher level functions in adults (and enhances others). Of course he's not using pure white noise so the research might not apply. From what I've read I don't have a concern with using it sometime but wouldn't leave it on 24/7.

The bouncing is equivalent to a baby being worn, I think, and I don't see how it would be an issue.

The pacifier could be a problem if you have low-ish supply, because comfort nursing would increase the supply. If you have a comfort nurser and oversupply, a pacifier is invaluable.


So, those are my concerns with the methods, although the second would be a concern with anything that causes them to sleep longer and more soundly.

Despite these I happily use all the methods at various times.

[flightgoddess]

I liked some of the ideas, like the fourth trimester. And some techniques worked for us. So go ahead and try them. If they don't work, they might never work, or they may work when you try them again in a few weeks/at a different developmental stage.

Swaddling helped our lil guy sleep longer. I also did white noise at night (we were by a busy street with lots of traffic, and his room was at the front.)  Only tradeoff, now that he's three, he's used to it, and does sleep better with it, even though we're in a different house on a dead end with no traffic. Not sure if I'll do it with the new baby.  Shushing and bouncing/rocking also helped when little.

[cat13]

Originally Posted by rinap 

We found the techniques helpful, but I was turned off by the implication that if the baby cries it's because you're doing something wrong. Have lots of ideas under your belt, certainly, but for some babies, you just have to hold them while they cry. (ideally trading off every ten minutes) until they're in a state such that things work. A crying baby doesn't mean you're a bad parent.

Where were you a few months ago when my DS was born? I seriously wish someone told me this, especially on a natural parenting board, and not just from a CIO-perspective.  DS is a fussy guy and we have serious crying fits a lot. 

That being said, I agree with PPs that the idea of the fourth trimester is interesting and helpful. DS is just now coming out of that trimester and it's true that he just now seems "ready" to be born.  The only one of the 5 S's that really works for us is white noise, especially the radio on a non-channel. 

[semmel84130]

Our experience was that it was neither miracle nor gimmick. The 5-S strategy didn't help us, and as a previous poster said, the implication was that we weren't doing it right, so we spent a lot of useless time trying to "fix" our technique before coming to the decision that our baby wouldn't be the happiest one on the block. However, we did find that the idea of the fourth trimester really rang true for us, and my philosophy is that you should have as many tricks in your bag as possible because you don't know who your baby will be. It's astounding how they come out with a lot of preferences already firmly in place. Also, although swaddling did not have the generally calming effect on our baby, it did seem to make her more comfortable at times. And we loved the SwaddleMe so much more than blankets. It left her legs a little freer to move and stayed put for a long time. My baby also seemed to like it more than being swaddled in a blanket.

[MrsSlocombe]

Originally Posted by kathrineg 

There is a worry about hip dysplasia with swaddling which is why I tend to swaddle the legs more loosely and feel better with swaddle mes (the leg area is more of a sac that lets them put their legs in a frog position.
If you have a baby with reflux, you probably don't want them to sleep longer and have bigger meals--that's something that is put out there as a good thing in the DVD but when we were still working out DB's eating issues (he has a dairy allergy) he'd sleep a long time swaddled in the swing but sleeping through his early hunger feelings would leave him starving. He'd wake up really upset, swallow a bunch of air, eat too fast, throw up...it was much better for him to sleep lightly and wake up a lot for snacks.
White noise, the obvious concern is hearing damage. It also disrupts certain higher level functions in adults (and enhances others). Of course he's not using pure white noise so the research might not apply. From what I've read I don't have a concern with using it sometime but wouldn't leave it on 24/7.
The bouncing is equivalent to a baby being worn, I think, and I don't see how it would be an issue.
The pacifier could be a problem if you have low-ish supply, because comfort nursing would increase the supply. If you have a comfort nurser and oversupply, a pacifier is invaluable.
So, those are my concerns with the methods, although the second would be a concern with anything that causes them to sleep longer and more soundly.
Despite these I happily use all the methods at various times.

Thanks, this was helpful!  I heard Dr. Karp mention that a different style of swaddling than he recommends (tighter and straighter around the legs) leads to hip displasia.

Regarding white noise, do you mean it disturbs higher level functions only while it's on, or even after it's turned off?  I thought it was only for when they are sleeping, but I haven't read the whole book yet.  I wouldn't want it on all the time, especially because I will usually be with the baby and I would rather listen to music or have peaceful silence.  This may be a silly question, but is there "higher level functioning" that is disturbed by white noise DURING sleep?  E.g., is dreaming, or whatever newborns do in their brains instead of dreaming, disturbed?