Anyhow, we were due November 3rd. I joined this DDC though,since it was so close to the end of October & you know how anything that can make it feel less, is good...So Ocgtober sounded like a good club to join.
My wifes pregnancy was going super well, other than the fact that she has such severe morning sickness from 9 weeks on, through the rest of the pregnancy. Day & night, all she did was vomit, nothing helped her. But like I said, everything else was going amazing....Or so we thought :( We went to the doctor on September 23rd, baby was doing great, kicking, had a strong hearbeat, and the doctor was telling us how we were in the final stretch and would soon have our baby!! We were 34 weeks along then....The day my wife turned 35 weeks, she had mentioned the baby had not been moving at all like normal, hee & there but really...Nothing. We gave her orange juice, had her lay on her side, back, used a flashlight on her belly, vibrations, music, and after about an hour of all that, and the baby didnt move one time, we figured we better go in to be safe.
Arrived at the hospital, feeling crazy, cause we had been there 4 other times due to lack of movement, only to find out that she was fine, just being stubborn. Nurses say "Ohhh jenn & April here again with that stubborn baby of theirs! Lay on back & let us find her hearbeat so you all can go home!!" We all laughed, but I think deep down April & I just knew it was different this time.
Nurse cant pick up the babys hearbeat....She says dont stress. I panic because it NEVER takes them more than 5 or 6 seconds to find it....10 minutes of agony, until we get the U/S ,machine wheeled up to us. April has never been pregnant, I have been pregnant 5 times, with 2 early m/c, and I iam obsessed about U/S stuff, so I just know what to look for. The dr is scanning by the babys heart and not saying anything. April asks the Dr if there is a heartbeat and I yell "NO!! OMG NO!!" and start crying, before the Dr said a word. the dr. says she is sorry & confirms what I already said....Our daughter had passed away and had no hearbeat.
They gave us a choice to go home for a few days to "Process" this before we decide what to do, or do a c-section asap, or induce and wait it out. We chose to induce & wait it out because we were NOT about to go home with my wife carrying around our dead baby :( and c-section is just a major surgery that we didnt want to deal with. April wanted to do things naturally when the baby was ok, so why change that now, just because she wasnt okay?!
We had a million calls to make, got everyone to the L&D room, had 10 close friends & family when she delivered....It is such a huge massive mass of emotions that I wish on nobody else in the world. the most wrenching heartache you could feel, times a million and one!! It LITERALLY HURTS!!
October 1st, after they induced her, we were on day 2 of finding out & being there....Baby Elliana Jean was born at 6:17am, 4 pounds of pure beauty, black curly hair....perfect everything. My wife pused 2 times and she was born. I told her that she was amazing. She did so well through it all.
There is so much more to the story, but long story short, we both stayed in the hospital with our daughter for 24 more hours....held her, loved on her, changed her clothes, took her pictures, Kissed her, cried, barely slept because we didnt want to miss a second of being with her.
We buried her in Spring Grover Cemetary, the most beautiful cemetary ever. It is the 3rd biggest in the USA and probably the 3rd most beautiful also. Spring Grove has a very special meaning to both April & I...She took me on a first date there, proposed to me there, her parents & my grandparents are all buried there....So there was nowhere else we wanted her to be, if she couldnt be in our arms. We didnt care the price. Nothing else mattered, it was the only time we would be able to spoil her and give her what she deserved and whatever we wanted, without any thoughts.
We laid her to rest on October 5, 2011, at noon....We released 25 pink & white balloons to her after the service....
We have pictures, mementos all over our house. She will never be forgotten and I will never hide her or forget her. God how we miss her so much though.
I am so sorry to throw this on you all, I know its a downer, but I sincerely hope you all have wonderful outcomes and please love those babies as much as you can....Nothing is promised to us, tomorow could be gone in a second and you just dont realize that until it is too late :(
here is our beautiful daughter Elliana Jean....RIP our forever angel, mama & Mommy love you so so much!!
Please excuse any typos, I am not feeling up to spell check.
Edited by Tourneymama - 11/2/11 at 3:01pm