need ideas and support for night weaning w/ sibling in room

[vagabonder]

I am so desperate for a good nights sleep, I could really use some suggestions.  I have an almost 4 yo dd (will be 4 in December) and a 22 mo. old son.  I am also a single mom and co-sleep with both kids.  Ds used to be a fairly good sleeper, but over the last few months he has started nursing a lot at night.  He'll sleep fairly soundly until around 2:30, at which point he wants to nurse just about every hour and for 20+ minutes at a time.  I am no longer able to sleep through his nursings and I end up waking up and just when I am about to fall back asleep, he will want to nurse again.  He hasn't been eating as much during the day, so I think he is actually hungry and his eating schedule has just gotten skewed to where he gets his the bulk of his food in the middle of the night instead of during the day.

The past few nights I have been trying to do some of the Gordon night weaning plan, but he has been crying loud enough and long enough to wake my dd.  If I try to take him out of the room, my dd hears it and wakes up then also.  Then after an hour or so of calming everyone and getting back to sleep, he'll eventually want to nurse again at which point I am way too exhausted to say no.

I just don't have any idea how to go about this so that my dd can get the sleep she needs, too.  Fortunately their dad is very involved and sees them throughout the week, but I have them all nights.  On occasion my dd has spent the night at his house, but she only ends up sleeping for 9 hours there and then I get repurcussions the next day from her not getting enough sleep.  I've thought about sending ds to spend the night at his house, but it breaks my heart to think of him crying so much through the night without me there.

I welcome any suggestions, or even just support of when he would outgrow this without my weaning him.

[kdaisy]

Well, I nightweaned with a sibling in the room, but the sibling was younger one and she slept pretty soundly.

Could you move your older daughter to another space for the time being?  Or, what I sometimes did with DS was remove him from the room when he started to ramp it up.  He was older than your child, but I made it clear if he couldn't be quiet we were leaving the room.

Good luck!

[KTProvi]

My kids also share a room, and we had to move our big boy into another room for several nights while his little brother learned to night wean.  Tricky if you are co-sleeping w both of them, but maybe you can make your daughter a special cozy nest in another room for a few nights, and come visit her there so she doesn't feel so alone?  Or if you have another adult to help, friend or mom etc if not her dad, another adult could come sleep with her? 

Sending my support - I know what it's like to be kept up by a super-nurser when you both need to sleep.