vent. frustrated and disappointed

[slinden]

i never expected staying at home to be a picnic. but i'm so saddened and frustrated by the fact that my dc seems so disrespectful and even disdainful of me. he tells me to go away several times a day. deliberately disobeys a lot. i am to the point where i am looking for work outside the home so my husband can stay home instead (i could make a better living anyway with my skillset). i am so sad because for years and years (before i had children and even up until recently) all i wanted to do was stay at home, make a happy household and homeschool.

i understand that things don't always work out how you think they should, but i can't help but feel like a failure. i am laid back, practice gentle discipline, extended breastfeed, co sleep... the works. my son is 2.5. i know its probably normal, i guess, his behavior, but i just can't help but feel completely disrespected and worthless!! i don't want him to feel indebted to me, i just want a loving son (which he *can* be!). this phase sucks. thanks for reading. any input would be appreciated.

[homemademomma]

I have little advice, but I went through the same thing. I always thought I would SAH and homeschool. I was amazed at home unfulfilling and mind numbing I found SAH to be. I am lucky in that my husband and I switch off a lot, so I was able to experience the great parts of SAH while still getting grown up time outside the house. I have an incredibly difficult 8 year old, so I hear you on that as well. 

Can you work part time? 

[yarngoddess]

I get why you are frustrated :(  That really sucks. I don't have any advice but wanted to send you some support. Hang in there and trust your instincts to make the best decision for your family. 

[FrugalGranolaMom]

I wish I had some really great advice for you, but I often have days like that myself (especially recently) My DS turned 2 in august so not too much younger than your little one. He can be very gentle and loving and then become very willful and defiant to the point where I'm at a loss what to do. I know for us getting out of the house and changing things up a bit can help. For some reason, he is far better behaved in public. Also, are you able to take some time for yourself while your DH watches him?

[sweetBBkendall]

It sounds like you are really trying to have a good relationshiop with your son. In time he will come to appreciate this but for now he's exerting his independence(maybe even a little too much..?) I am not quite there with my dd who will be 2 in Feb. I hate to give advice on such a cryptic topic like child-rearing when I havn't been through the event myself because lord knows my views of many things up until now were extremely skewed prior to experience. My little one is very willful and I'm sure we're not far behind ;) I wish you all the best!

[inky leeuhhh]

2 year olds are not good at making people feel appreciated- lol- so i feel for you! i really feel like just now my almost 8 year old is starting to appreciate other people now more. i just started to SAH too, and i am not finding it to be as amazing as i thought it was. i think i built it up for myself. my 2.5 year old is very busy, and much more work than i thought she would be. it's exhausting! and this is coming from someone who worked in a room full of 2 year olds before she started to SAH! i think the difference is that then i was getting regular breaks and interaction from other adults, and it was a professional environment where i felt respected for planning the curriculum, putting on events, and interacting with the parents and children. 

anyway, i think you should do what you think you need to. i'm pregnant right now, but after i recover from giving birth i'll be taking another look at what type of situation will be best for our family. i'm thinking maybe a part time job. good luck!

[mamalisa]

Kids are total narcissists until they hit about 4.  Just keep repeating that it's not about you and you'll be just fine.  

[lovepickles]

Hmmm  ... how does your husband treat you? Can you think of anyone that might be modeling this behavior? Are you like this to anyone? A pet? Just a suggestion ... not pointing a finger by any means. Kids absorb some pretty trivial stuff. Keep your eyes open and maybe it will become clearer.

[Mom31]

My son is 8 and can be very disrespectful to me... his tone of voice is awful..... Today after school my daughter dropped her papers and said YOU pick them up!!!  I was humiliated. I don't know why they are like this.... and I am trying to correct it.  When they were little they were sweet and I waited on them hand and foot and am paying for it now- they think I am their slave and maid.