I don't even know where to start. I don't post here often, and I feel a little bad only posting when I need something, but I'm at whit's end. I am planning a home birth sometime in mid-January. I fully believe in natural childbirth and have had 3 progressively natural births before this one. I am sick with fighting with hospitals over interventions--especially in neonatal care--so I decided to have this last one at home.
The reason I have not considered homebirth sooner, and the reason I am doubting this one, is that my home is probably the biggest stressor in my life. My husband was a slob before I met him, and I've never been the neatest person either. Add three kids under 6 and this place is a disaster. I'm lucky if I can manage to get everyone fed, keep up with the dishes, and get the laundry washed (rarely folded or put away). The dining room table is piled high with clean laundry. The furniture is covered with soil from dirty little hands. The floors are littered with random items, dirt, and some trash. It's bad enough that I never invite friends or family here. Not exactly an ideal location for a birth. And what if something goes wrong and we end up with a transfer? The local hospital wanted to report us to CPS for refusing antibiotic ointment in the baby's eyes, so who knows what they would do about a homebirth. If a social worker came in here to inspect, I might lose my older children as well. Maybe it's just my hormones but it's really stressing me out.
DH is practically insistent on a homebirth. He is also a big supporter of natural birth, but I suspect his insistence is largely for financial reasons--we don't have maternity insurance. When it comes to preparing our home for the birth, he isn't much help, and I haven't found a good way to improve this. There are no family or friends I can ask--partially because we are keeping the homebirth a secret, but mostly because they are either unhelpful or judgmental, which would just cause more stress. We are now 6 weeks out from our home visit, and I am starting to feel very stressed and hopeless about it.
In short, I really want a homebirth, but I'm concerned that the house will cause undue stress that will impact my labor. What do you think? Should I go ahead with the homebirth and just work very hard to get things passable? Should I look into other options?