I am trying to determine if I'm overreacting or not, and I need some outside opinions. Here's the background:
I have an almost 3 year old son. He's my first, and I don't have much experience with other children, and no experience with toddler boys. Everyone loves my son. Everyone says he is so well-behaved and smart and ahead for his age. For the most part, he is, but he acts a lot differently at home than in public or with other people.
He's mostly non-verbal. He throws ridiculous temper tantrums that are impossible to wait out. My theory was always to ignore them, but I just can't. He will always outlast me. I can only stop them by picking him up and hugging and rocking him. He spits constantly. I have tried to tell him no spitting, to get him to spit only in the sink, but he doesn't understand what I tell him. He just laughs at me and continues to spit on the floor. He is OBSESSED with anything electrical- lights/flashlights, plugs, cords, small appliances, etc. He has to have things exactly the same and in a certain order. He will only wear one pair of shoes. If I try to put a different pair on him, he starts screaming and banging his head on the floor. If a toy or whatever doesn't do what he wants it to do, it's the same thing. I did not expect him to never have tantrums, but I don't know if the extent of these tantrums are normal or not.
I broke down and contacted Birth to Three (Early Intervention) and had an initial evaluation on Friday. He is way behind on communication, only getting 10/60 points, but did very well in all the other areas. I called them because I was frustrated. I thought that maybe I could communicate better with him, it would make things easier. When I told a few close relatives about the evaluation, they all said I was overreacting. I said that I don't want to look back in a few years and wish I would have done something. He only has a couple of months to qualify for EI, and I figured it wouldn't hurt to call. We have an evaluation with the speech therapist next Thursday.
The one thing that scares me the most, I haven't been able to say, not even to my husband. I read the red flags/symptoms of autism, and I get more and more concerned. I just don't know if I can handle it. I haven't taken him for WBVs since he was a year old, so I feel like a bad mom now. Maybe I should have, and the doctor would have noticed symptoms and blah blah blah. I'm playing the blame game with myself.
In a way, I almost want a label just so people understand what I'm dealing with. It's so hard, and I feel like it's a lot harder than it should be. I get upset when people tell me I'm overreacting because it makes me feel like this is normal and I just can't handle it. Maybe if I was a better mom, things wouldn't be so hard.
But I really just want a normal, healthy little boy.
Maybe I just needed to vent. Like I said, he is my first, and I'm not around other kids. Maybe what he does is perfectly normal. I know that "normal" is a spectrum, too. I guess all I can do now is wait for the speech therapist and see what she says.
Edited by bignerpie - 1/18/12 at 10:16am