or Connect
Mothering › Groups › September 2011 Birth Club › Discussions › Uh-Oh! I think I have a car-hater.... any suggestions?

Uh-Oh! I think I have a car-hater.... any suggestions?

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

Cassidy is 8 weeks old and in the past week every time I have driven her somewhere solo (no one in the back with her) it has been really hard on her.  I will stop and nurse, change dipe, and wait for awhile before trying to go again, but it doesn't seem to help.  As soon as the car starts moving, she's getting really upset again.  I hope this passes, we are a family that drives a lot of places together.  It seems like it just started this past week.  there were occasions before where dh and I were both in the front and she was in the back and fine.  suggestions?  maybe she is in another growth spurt?

post #2 of 13

Mostly just listening in! My first two were passionate car haters until I moved them into a convertible car seat around 6 months. Some of that was the age and some of that was the seat, they liked being more upright and better able to see out the window. Neither would take a paci which made car trips so stressful. They would both cry until they became hysterical.

 

My little guy has only been in the car 3 times and has done a fair amount of crying so it seems like he may be the same way. :(

 

I thought it was interesting that you said she cried when the car moves. My guy is the opposite, sometimes he is okay while the car is moving and then becomes upset when we have to stop at a traffic light. It makes sense to me that they would be soothed by the movement of the car, not agitated?

post #3 of 13
Mine hates the car as well. She screams so much she runs out of breath and sounds like she's choking. I'm glad this is my second baby because I would be a mess if I were a new mom! I think I'll go ahead and get her a comfy convertible. I have to get eventually anyway, and we never use the bucket seat as a carrier. It's pretty awful!
post #4 of 13
DS1 was a car hater and I think DS2 is trending that way. Moving to a convertible also helped DS1, tho the huge difference came when we could forward face him. I'm afraid it's gonna be a long 2 years...
post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 

Yesterday we took a trip, me dh, and Cassidy. I rode in the back with her.  On the way to the store, she was fine as I held her paci in her mouth, and she fell asleep.  She had been nursed right before, and had a clean diaper of course.  She stayed asleep until we lifted the bucket out of the car.  On the way home... different story.  We had been in (ugh) wal-mart for about an hour. Even I felt horrible afterwards! So, she was crying and inconsolable.  we stopped right away, nursed and changed diaper.  Held her for awhile, got her some air ... put her back in.  She fell asleep shortly after, but then woke up after about ten minutes... lots of stop and go traffic.  She was crying again by the time we got home.  It was tough, but dealable because I was in the back.  So, it seems that its not motion related (right?) but more related to being lonely when no one is back there with her, and then if someone is, it seems related to tiredness.  At least I feel like I can start to understand why she is getting so upset, even if I don't know a solution! 

post #6 of 13

My first baby was the same way, and she had wicked reflux for 2 years, so she would throw up too.  It was terrible, and I stressed myself out so much driving anywhere with her, especially to my parents' place, which is 1 1/2 hours away.  I would never dare go further than that.

It was something she just had to grow out of.  She still gets carsick if she's in the car for any length of time (she's 8 now.)  My second has always been pretty good in the car, and Sydney could go either way.  She usually doesn't mind if it's moving, but if it stops, she hates it.  It's nice to have the big kids back there with her.  Sometimes, I'm pretty sure it's just being in the carseat that she hates, more than the actual car itself.

 

If she's upset, sometimes I will reach my pinky finger back there and pop it in her mouth, and then she's usually okay.  But it's hard to drive that way, so I usually just talk to her, and reassure her, and she keeps crying...it's just reality that we have to get places, so she will have to get used to it.  I hate to hear her cry, but what can you do?  I keep calmly talking to her, and sometimes that helps.  Otherwise, time is the only thing that makes a difference, I think.

post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 

rareimer:Ive done the pinky thing too out of desparation... but definitely seems dangerous ! 

 

We got these dangly toys with chimes in them and tried that out yesterday when I had to drive her 15 minutes by myself.  I think it helped ... on the way there she fussed a little and then fell asleep.  on the way back she was awake the whole time but never had a melt down.  just started crying right at the end.  Instead of the pinky I would just reach back when she was fussing and make these toys jingle.  And they chime over bumps randomly too.  I just kept talking to her and reassuring her.  It was definitely a positive trip ! YAY! 

post #8 of 13

Yay Robyn, one trip at a time right? ha. I took Luke to the post office yesterday just to drop off some packages and it was literally 15 minutes round trip and the last 7 or 8 minutes were nonstop crying. :( I feel like my world has shrunk to a 10 minute driving radius but fortunately we don't live in the middle of nowhere and I am fairly content to stick close to home. The crying is meant to rattle our nerves and boy, does it ever.

post #9 of 13

I have to confess... this is the sole reason I started using a paci with DS. I don't really use it any other time, but it totally works to soothe him on car rides because he can't yet get his fist into his mouth around the harness. DS was an absolute car shrieker at first and I tried EVERYTHING (pinky in the mouth, static on the radio, frequent stops, no stops, singing softly or loudly, radio, even asking my mom to come along and sit in the back with him, or letting me sit in the back while she drove...), and NOTHING worked to soothe him, but now I either drive in silence or sing "You are My Sunshine" ad nauseum in combo with the paci and he goes right to sleep. I'm a single mama, so when we go somewhere, it's usually alone and we go often enough that I was completely freaking out because I hated having to sit in standstill traffic on the freeway, with no way to pull over while he worked himself into a bloody murder shrieking frenzy. By the time we got home, we were BOTH in pieces and crying until we used up all our tears. It was awful. Now we are happy and calm for the most part, provided he is fed and dry as well. I was adamant about never using a paci, but we are both so much happier in the car now that he has it.

post #10 of 13
Hi everyone-

I'm curious how the littles are dong in the car now, any progress? My 8.5 week old makes car travel very unpleasant. She also screams when the car is stopped, and is inconsistently calm while moving. It is definitely anxiety-provoking for me and I've avoided unnecessary car trips as a result. I'm wondering if it is better to just keep at it or just wait to see if it shall pass...luckily I live in an urban area where we can walk most places. Oh yeah, and she hates the stroller too! Luckily she is more tolerant of being warn...man, there is always something new, right?
post #11 of 13

What about one of those mirrors that loops over the back headrest? So the babies can see that you're in the front seat and see a little more of what's around them? 

post #12 of 13

My daughter is now 14 weeks old and up until about a month ago, she hated the car, all of the time. I switched her from the infant seat to a rear facing convertible seat which seemed to help a bit, but then the screaming started again. It was so bad that I would cry with her. I tried stopping to nurse, but as soon as she was back in the seat it started again. I started taking her to the chiropractor which has helped so much with her colicky-ness in general. I also figured out she is snesitive to gluten, changing my diet has changed everything. I'm not saying that your baby has dietary issues, just saying that sometimes there is a reason for their fussiness in the car, other than just not liking the seat. One thing that really helped was one of those swaddle me blankets, they sell them at Target and Babies R Us. She is sued to being worn so I thought being snug would help, it worked wonders! It's made to work with a 5 point harness and is easy to use. Might be worth a try if you're still having issues. Good luck!

post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone! Im happy to report that Cassidy has become a car-napper, and a car-player, and just great in the car ! We are so relieved.  Not sure if it was loneliness or boredom, but now she has toys hanging from her car seat that she loves to play with and chew on, and she peacefully passes out when the ride is more than a few minutes.  We are in car riding heaven! I hope things are going well for you mamas out there! 

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: September 2011 Birth Club
Mothering › Groups › September 2011 Birth Club › Discussions › Uh-Oh! I think I have a car-hater.... any suggestions?