5 year old - "i just dont want to pee in the potty" help?!

[Meganmakaylia]

So, I'm new here, so hi! And I'm completely frustrated. I have a 5 -almost 6 year old son named Aidan. Aidan is in full day kindergarten and has a pretty stress free life. But he's still peeing his pants. He's been potty trained since he was 3. And he decided to start this about a year ago - there was no 'tramatic' effect that happened. These are not 'accidents' these are straight up 'i just don't want to go to the bathroom.' And that's exactly what aidan says. This isn't just at home, it's also at school. I'm completely at my witts end. He gets plenty of attention from his daddy and I. We've done the whole sticker chart,we've done little prizes, we've done extra TV time, books, pennies, everything you could possibly think of and it has no effect. We've gone to the doctor to rule out anything medical. I've started making him wash his pee pants in the tub when he pees them and he finishes and tells me he had fun. I know I kinda rambled on here, so if anymore info is needed, just ask. Thanks

[nextcommercial]

It sounds like you are already doing this...but, I would make him responsible for changing, and cleaning his mess, then finding dry clothes.

I don't think i'd have him wash his own clothes in the tub, but everything up to that point, i'd hold him completely responsible for.  Obviously the teacher isn't helping him get dressed, so, he must be changing his own clothes at school.  

I can't imagine why he would be doing this unless it's not really a control issue.  (I don't know if it is or isn't) Perhaps, even though he says "I just didn't want to", he might not actually be able to hold it, or know when it's too late.  Let's say that Hypothetically he can't control it... I'd still hold him responsible for cleaning himself up.  

[swd12422]

I've been having similar issues with my DS (nearly 4). I posted here (and got "that's normal" responses -- he's having so much fun playing he doesn't want to stop to use the bathroom), and I talked to my mom. She told me a story she'd never heard before.

Apparently, my uncle (now a pediatrician who SWEARS this is normal, and not b/c he himself did it) did the very same thing. He sat in the last row in his first-grade classroom. Back then, classes weren't overcrowded like they are now, and there was an entire row of empty seats behind him. One day he needed to pee, but that meant he'd have to raise his hand, walk ALL THE WAY to the front of the classroom, get a pass, and then walk down the hall to the bathroom. Too much trouble for a 6-year-old, so he peed right where he was. Then decided he didn't like how wet his chair was, so he moved back a seat. His teacher sorta noticed that he was back there all by himself, wandered over, and saw the puddle. Asked him if he did that. He said, "Sure I did." She asked WHY. He said, "Because I didn't want to sit in a puddle pee" (you idiot). I'm sure I'll laugh about it once DS stops purposely wetting himself, especially b/c most of my uncle's stories end with him muttering "you idiot" under his breath.

So maybe it will help that even 60 years ago, boys older than yours were doing this. I guess it's one of those things we're supposed to suck up and accept as developmentally age-appropriate once we lose the bribery/talking/arguing/rewarding battles?