It's just driving me mad :'( please help.

[ishah2124]

Hiya.

I'm posting as this situation I'm in is absolutely driving me mad. My baby is 3 weeks old and I have given him bottle and breast, but then he stopped latching on and I turned to expressing and feeding him by bottle, my midwife just told me that if I carry on expressing the milk will soon dry out so I tried putting him back to the breast. My midwife came down yesterday and said if you want to do breast feeding you have to take the bottle off totally because hes getting confused. (but Ive already used the bottle twice since yesterday as he is just totally refusing breast  and i really didnt want to use the bottle but had to)

He's really playing up.

I do the cross cradle hold and end up putting pressure on his neck/head to guide him to the breast and I think he gets really frustrated when I do this but otherwise he wont latch on, someimes he latches on now just very rarely and feeds well but all the other times, hes pulling away and starts screaming and I try for like a hour and sometimes 2 hours but he just wont feed of me and I end up crying so much, it's all my day revolves around trying to breastfeed and i cant get it right. 

I end up giving him the bottle

[motherhendoula]

Did your midwife mention "Biological Breastfeeding" to you at all?    I dont have much time - so i didnt really check this video out - but its a start!  http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

the idea is to try and feed baby before he is too hungry and angry and crying and upset - also the 'biological' hold doesnt put off many babies - you mentioned he doesnt seem to respond to teh cross cradle position.  Have you tried nipple shields?  controversial - yes, BUT it can help with nipple confusion - then of course, you will need to find a way to step down from the nipple shields...

first thing - call your local LLL leader  - many women have been through this and three weeks is not too late to get baby back to basic breastfeeding again!  - Remember the basics, skin to skin contact - back to 'babymoon'  (spend all day in bed doing nothing but breastfeeding for a few days)  

babies angry - gotta run - check back in!

[rinap]

Can you talk to another lactation consultant? (or go to a LLL meeting?)

You are working really hard to feed your baby, and that's a great thing. You should be proud.

He's latching sometimes, which is great. Trying for two hours is exhausting for both of you. Sometimes a little milk from a bottle can help a baby be a little less frustrated. I used to give my girls an ounce, then try again for a latch. Also spent time skin  to skin, and tried regularly to nurse, but not to frustration. Frustration sucks for everyone. (one of my girls is still really hard to feed when she's frustrated)

I spent my first month bottle feeding my girls pumped milk. They needed some time to get bigger and stronger. And then we were able to transition over to full time breastfeeding (nights took until about three months). But it can be done.

Talking to an expert can help. But also trust your gut.

And remember that no matter how things work out you're doing great at mothering. You're feeding your baby. And that is what matters.

[Megan73]

I think your baby has what's known as "flow preference" - he's smart and has realized that it's easy to get milk from a bottle and harder work to get it out of the breast. I disagree with your MW - I don't think you can starve a baby back to the breast.
A couple of things I'd try. Can you contact a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader? It would be a great idea for them to assess his latch and see if there might be something - like a tongue tie - that's making it hard for him to feed. The other thing that might help is the "finish at the breast method" - give the baby an ounce by bottle (making sure you're using the slowest-flow newborn nipple) or better yet with a small cup or syringe THEN try to latch him on when he's no longer starving and calm enough to latch well. Keep your hands low on baby's neck and don't touch his head - it can make him pull away. Try using your nipple to stroke his upper lip until he opens wide.