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November Chat Thread

post #1 of 88
Thread Starter 

Hey all, I'm taking the plunge and starting the November chat. This is a place where you can talk about anything and everything that is on your mind.

 

We are on the homestretch. What are your thoughts turning to these days?

post #2 of 88
Thread Starter 

My in-laws were in town for the weekend, and can I just say that it is good to be back in the 21st century with you lot. I was getting really tired of 1970s child rearing advice. Ugh.

 

I know it takes all kinds to make the world turn, but some days it is nice to be surrounded by like minds. thumb.gif

post #3 of 88

Lol I hear ya! I don't have the energy right now to explain my choices to anyone really, so there's a lot of smiling and nodding going on (especially with strangers). I've been poking around mothering.com an awful lot these days

 

I don't have the energy for much lately... I'm feeling 'psychically' tired, like I although I *could* car about this and that I just really don't want to make the effort. Hasn't been great for the rest of life, but damn am I full of answers now when it come to cloth diapers!

 

My maternity clothes are starting not to fit (the pants are too tight and the shirts don't quite cover my belly) so the humbling of my former self who enjoyed clothing continues... and my shoes are starting *just* not to fit, so I've been wearing my rubber boots a lot with a 1970s ankle length wool coat, the only thing keeping me even reasonably warm. I'm proud to say that I'm pulling it off ;)

 

I've stopped one job (this is a good thing) with another coming off the agenda mid-November... then school ends December 1st. I don't have any close friends here and right now I am really not called to socialize, paradoxically, so I guess that is not helping! I kind of want to have one person at a time over for tea, but on the other hand don't really want to talk to anyone either. I do like being alone but I guess sometimes it's a fine line between 'alone' and 'lonely'. Half the problem is that I often need to use my free time to nap so I cancel social engagements for that. 

 

Still having a lot of BH contractions, trying not to worry... but thinking of getting a cervical check at my next mw appt just to put my mind at ease! Now they are starting to make my belly form into all these weird bumps (I guess baby parts sometimes) which is adding to my feeling oh-so-not-sexy. DH isn't even going for it in my dreams these days :P

 

 

 

 

 

post #4 of 88

I'm trying to feel all 'earth-mama-goddess' here and it's not going overly well! 

post #5 of 88

Well, I suppose I may as well vent a little...gotta get it out sometime, eh? orngtongue.gif

 

So my baby shower party thingie is this weekend, and we registered on Amazon because, well, there's really nothing that we want in any other stores.  Now, I'm not all that concerned because we've got everything we really 'need' for the baby (breasts, clothes, blankets, car seat, sling/wrap)...but it took me a long time to make that registry and I put a lot of thought and care into it.  It's mostly lots of books (we're trying to start a little kid's library for our future family), some kid's lullabies and CD's, and some wooden and organic toys.  The website link to the registry was in our emailed invitations, so everybody that got invited knew about it.

 

Anyway, like I said, the party is this weekend, and nobody has bought ANYTHING from our baby registry. greensad.gif  I'm trying not to be so sad about it, but I can't help it.  I know what's going to happen...people have waited til the last minute, they're gonna be all "Oh crap!  Her baby shower is Saturday!  Need to run to Wal-Mart/Target/BabiesRUs to get [this thing that they don't want or need but I think it's cute so I'll buy it anyway]!!"  I'm really upset about this.  Especially because if they do remember to give gift receipts, I'll only be able to use it for store credit, and there's literally nothing at these major stores that we want/need for the baby.

 

So yeah...that's my vent for the day.  It could be worse, I guess...but it's still making me feel like crap. gloomy.gif

post #6 of 88

they sell kids' books at all of those major retailers.  and if all you have on your registry is books and wooden toys, it doesn't sound like there's a lot that you "need" for the baby on it anyway?  buy other things at those stores if you end up getting store credit there.

 

people do wait until the last minute, but they could also look at the amazon registry and then go to barnes & noble or target or wherever, and still find things you have registered for.  

post #7 of 88

It's so funny to me how different this pregnancy is from my first one.  By this time around last time, I had SO many physical complaints.  I felt like I was descending into the inner circles of physical hell.  :P 

 

This time?  I still feel overall really good.  I am still having trouble with pulling muscles in my pelvis constantly, and had horrible leg cramps in the middle of the night the other night.  I think this little guy hasn't found a position he's 100% happy with yet because he still flops around pretty dramatically and on some days he's in this horrible position that totally crushes my stomach and makes me spit up acid all day.  He spent most of this weekend in what felt like an almost diagonal position... jabbing my hip bone on one side and ramming my rib cage on the other side at the same time.  I guess I have an idea of exactly how long he is, heh.

 

Anyway, I don't have much in the way of physical complaints.  Mentally, I just can't even really think about the reality of having a second baby yet.  I keep thinking I need to pull out the boxes of my older son's baby clothes and sort through them, make sure the 0-3 stuff is together and easily accessible and not musty smelling, etc... maybe strip the diapers just in case they have old residue on them... etc.  But I feel so tired just thinking about it that I keep putting it off. 

post #8 of 88

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombjuice View Post

Well, I suppose I may as well vent a little...gotta get it out sometime, eh? orngtongue.gif

 

So my baby shower party thingie is this weekend, and we registered on Amazon because, well, there's really nothing that we want in any other stores.  Now, I'm not all that concerned because we've got everything we really 'need' for the baby (breasts, clothes, blankets, car seat, sling/wrap)...but it took me a long time to make that registry and I put a lot of thought and care into it.  It's mostly lots of books (we're trying to start a little kid's library for our future family), some kid's lullabies and CD's, and some wooden and organic toys.  The website link to the registry was in our emailed invitations, so everybody that got invited knew about it.

 

Anyway, like I said, the party is this weekend, and nobody has bought ANYTHING from our baby registry. greensad.gif  I'm trying not to be so sad about it, but I can't help it.  I know what's going to happen...people have waited til the last minute, they're gonna be all "Oh crap!  Her baby shower is Saturday!  Need to run to Wal-Mart/Target/BabiesRUs to get [this thing that they don't want or need but I think it's cute so I'll buy it anyway]!!"  I'm really upset about this.  Especially because if they do remember to give gift receipts, I'll only be able to use it for store credit, and there's literally nothing at these major stores that we want/need for the baby.

 

So yeah...that's my vent for the day.  It could be worse, I guess...but it's still making me feel like crap. gloomy.gif


Even having done my baby registry at one of those big box stores last time around, people still mostly bought what they wanted. You'd hope that they'd at least LOOK at the registry and see what kind of stuff you'd like, but people are silly. I didn't register for a single item of clothing because I figured people will buy what they want anyway and, oh my goodness, I was right. I think we got about 6 0-3 months dresses! Seriously, what 0-3 month girl is going to wear that many dresses? And poofy ones too!

post #9 of 88

Forgot to post my own stuff. :-P

 

Feeling incredibly tired lately. I'm often picking up my daughter from preschool early so I can take her home and nap with her, then I end up going to bed at 9 or 10 too. It's alright though because I know that it's what my body needs right now.

 

I'm also finding it difficult to even get out of the house. My daughter goes to preschool five days a week and I have class 3 of those days. I did this on purpose so that I would have time to study on the other two days. I'm finding it really difficult to even get her to preschool on the two days that I don't have class and I've skipped my last class to pick her up early (re previous paragraph) more than once. I just can't get myself to stay in the school mindset. Too tired and huge and I just don't want to anymore. Luckily once this semester is over I'm not going on campus for school for a year and a half.

 

I also feel like I have forever to go in the pregnancy. Yeah, I'm in the third trimester. Everyone keeps saying "oh you only have a couple of months left!", but for me that couple of months is finishing school and Thanksgiving and Christmas. It just feels like it's far away. Part of me is ready for the baby to be here (not literally, of course, because I'm only 30 weeks) and part of me feels like it's so much easier when they're inside so it should stay there!

post #10 of 88

It's comforting to see that many of us are going through the same things! 

 

cedarwoman - I'm so glad you slowed down your work load, your baby will thank you!  Ahhh, the shoes... My shoes don't fit either, so now I am sporting my uber-sexy Merell fur-lined clogs everywhere I go (did I mention they're three years old and majorly scuffed?).  And the shirts that won't go over the tummy are such a hot look this year, according to me!  None of my workout gear fits anymore (perhaps a sign that I should stop working out, haha). 

 

wombjuice - I feel exactly the same way you do regarding the registry... I've consoled myself by thinking that I can use the store credit for when it's time to give a baby shower or birthday present to someone who is more mainstream.  We still have $60 of store credit at Babies R' Us, which is where my godmother took me (against my will) to get everything she thought the baby would need, and which I ended up returning for store credit.  We also haven't received any gifts for the baby, and I KNOW it's because they're waiting to find out the baby's gender and then they're going to get me horrible pink crap!!  Argh!!

 

AFM, not sleeping sucks, and nobody told this baby (or my husband or dogs for that matter) that changing the clock back one hour means I still get to sleep until 7am, not wake up at 6am (which was the old 7).  6am on the dot, wham!  Major kicking starts... I guess I shouldn't be complaining, it's kind of cute to feel a foot sticking out the side of my belly.

 

On the out-of-town visitor front, we have visitors every weekend: my MIL coming this weekend, my parents the following weekend, friends from Italy for Thanksgiving, and my SIL (the nice one) the first weekend of December.  What the...???  I guess everyone got the memo that I don't want to see them after the baby comes, so they're all lining up to visit now!  The last time I vacuumed and mopped for visitors I threw out my back and limped around for two days.  I wish I had the money to hire a maid... Let the dog hair tumbleweeds float around the house, is what I say.

 

Here's a question: Anybody else find it difficult to get intimate with their husband while baby is kicking away inside?  I'm as open-minded as the next girl, but it throws me for a loop and dampens what little libido I have left.  It's bad enough that I don't want to be touched anywhere that DH is interested in touching... One more thing nobody told me about pregnancy.  grrr...

 

 

post #11 of 88

I wouldn't worry about getting stuff from BRU/Target/Walmart/etc.  You will be able to use the store credit.  Things just pop up that you'll need and then it's free which is a total bonus.  Carseats, bottles so you can leave the babe with someone to run to an appointment, books, etc.

 

AFM - I'm trying to get my house in order (moving the office to the first floor so that room can be a nursery, getting my kitchen all together so it will make me happy to use it, organizing my kids' clothes so I don't have to worry about it later, washing up the car seat stuff, wrapping the "sibling gifts" - in our life the babe gives siblings a gift when they first meet - etc).  I'm also putting together our Disney trip (taking our five year old for the first time as just a "three of us" trip with the little man at home) - we leave in less than two weeks!

 

Not baby related, but I'd like to say that I freaking want to seriously hurt the person that invented daylight savings time.  Yesterday might have been one of the worst days of my life and it all stemmed from too little sleep and two exhausted kids.  Blah!  I actually put both kids to bed last night at 6:30p!...which is hours before their usual time.

post #12 of 88

I understand about the baby registry, but I bit the bullet and just registered at BRU because I couldn't foresee most of the people I know ordering gifts via amazon. My family and DH's family are more the run to the store a few days or the day of the party kind of people.The problem is most of the items I would use from BRU can only be ordered online, which is something I'm not sure people will do, so I figure lots of returns for store credit to buy some of the larger items I want, like the dark brown ergo carrier.

 

Luckily I also have a large natural parenting group of mom friends, though it's only in the past few years we've gone from arty crafty friends to moms. These women have made me feel so lucky in the past few months, offering support and hand me downs. Yesterday I went to a baby clothes swap, I had nothing to swap except a bottle of wine I'd bought pre-pregnancy. I left with two carriers, a Moby wrap, and a really nice ring sling, dozens of newborn prefolds, several diaper covers, some fitted diapers, and enough clothes to last a year. Plus the promise of a carseat, a crib, and future hand me downs of cloth diapers and almost anything else I need. And the sense of community from spending an afternoon with amazing women who offer so much encouragement and support for the parenting choices I plan to make, or am unsure of. I'm amazed at the generosity of people. I've spent almost no money, but have much of what I need. I'm feeling blessed today.

 

 

post #13 of 88

Unfortunately, the books I have registered for are definitely not sold at Wal-Mart, Target, or Babies R Us...they may be at the bigger bookstores...I didn't think about that.  I am very particular about children's books and the messages they convey, so the books I've registered for have very peaceful/gentle messages and no "Timmy learned his lesson the hard way." stuff.  It's just our personal preference.

 

No, there's not a lot of stuff we "need" for the baby...like I said in my post above, I've already got everything we truly need (breasts, used clothes that friends gave me, a carseat, and a wrap/sling), but since my  husband and I are both students living strictly off of student loans, it would be nice to have some toys for when the baby gets a bit older, since we won't be able to afford to buy them ourselves.

 

The problem with store credit is that we simply do not shop at places like Wal-Mart and Target.  I refuse to support that kind of capitalism.  Obviously, I'm not going to just throw things away and will definitely return the items we don't want...but it sucks that I'll have no choice other than to support those ginormous conglomerate businesses.

 

And really...I just wanted to vent a little and thought some of the ladies here would understand.  It's probably just the pregnancy hormones. *shrug*
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

they sell kids' books at all of those major retailers.  and if all you have on your registry is books and wooden toys, it doesn't sound like there's a lot that you "need" for the baby on it anyway?  buy other things at those stores if you end up getting store credit there.

 

people do wait until the last minute, but they could also look at the amazon registry and then go to barnes & noble or target or wherever, and still find things you have registered for.  



 

post #14 of 88

This is so awesome!!!  What a great community!! love.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtjunker View Post
Luckily I also have a large natural parenting group of mom friends, though it's only in the past few years we've gone from arty crafty friends to moms. These women have made me feel so lucky in the past few months, offering support and hand me downs. Yesterday I went to a baby clothes swap, I had nothing to swap except a bottle of wine I'd bought pre-pregnancy. I left with two carriers, a Moby wrap, and a really nice ring sling, dozens of newborn prefolds, several diaper covers, some fitted diapers, and enough clothes to last a year. Plus the promise of a carseat, a crib, and future hand me downs of cloth diapers and almost anything else I need. And the sense of community from spending an afternoon with amazing women who offer so much encouragement and support for the parenting choices I plan to make, or am unsure of. I'm amazed at the generosity of people. I've spent almost no money, but have much of what I need. I'm feeling blessed today.

 

 



 

post #15 of 88

I understand where you're coming from. I have the amazon list of stuff we really want and need (lots of it was added via the universal add button from other websites) and the BRU list that has fewer items - mostly duplicates from the amazon list - because that store simply doesn't carry the types of items we are interested in. But crib sized flannel sheets can come from anywhere, as can burp cloths, so that's what I registered for at BRU. It's frustrating to know that people aren't going to pay attention to what you want and need - my step mother got us a 9-12 month snowsuit, and is all excited about baby using it when we visit them in Maine sometime this winter. headscratch.gif She swears that is what size her kids were wearing when they popped out. Ummmmmm... MAYBE it will fit next year, if we're lucky? I"m guessing it'll fit sometime over the summer/fall though. Oh well. There is no arguing with her, so we just said thank you graciously, and if it doesn't fit we'll give it to someone who can use it.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombjuice View Post

Unfortunately, the books I have registered for are definitely not sold at Wal-Mart, Target, or Babies R Us...they may be at the bigger bookstores...I didn't think about that.  I am very particular about children's books and the messages they convey, so the books I've registered for have very peaceful/gentle messages and no "Timmy learned his lesson the hard way." stuff.  It's just our personal preference.

 

No, there's not a lot of stuff we "need" for the baby...like I said in my post above, I've already got everything we truly need (breasts, used clothes that friends gave me, a carseat, and a wrap/sling), but since my  husband and I are both students living strictly off of student loans, it would be nice to have some toys for when the baby gets a bit older, since we won't be able to afford to buy them ourselves.

 

The problem with store credit is that we simply do not shop at places like Wal-Mart and Target.  I refuse to support that kind of capitalism.  Obviously, I'm not going to just throw things away and will definitely return the items we don't want...but it sucks that I'll have no choice other than to support those ginormous conglomerate businesses.

 

And really...I just wanted to vent a little and thought some of the ladies here would understand.  It's probably just the pregnancy hormones. *shrug*
 



 



 

post #16 of 88

Then don't have a shower, or tell people to come celebrate the baby and not bring gifts at all.  I'm sorry, you can vent all you want but I think it sounds extremely ungrateful and a bit holier-than-thou.  Maybe that is just MY pregnancy hormones.  And you went from "there's nothing at these mainstream stores we want" to "we don't support conglomerate stores" - bit of a change of tune.  It's not you supporting them either, it's the people who cared enough to come to your shower and buy you the gifts.

post #17 of 88

I'm really not sure what to say in response to you.  I prefaced my first post with "I need to vent."  I've never vented about anything here in our DDC before, so I thought it would be a safe place to do so.

 

This has nothing to do with being ungrateful.  I stated in our invitations that we'd only accept used baby clothes, that we did not want any plastic toys, and that our registry is through Amazon.  I do not feel the need for a crib, a playpen, a stroller, or a diaper-changing table, so the things we've registered for were very inexpensive.  I have been practicing HypnoBabies throughout this pregnancy, and one of our affirmations is something like "I clearly state what I want and need, and accept help when it is given."  As someone who has previously always struggled with accepting gifts or asking for help, I've tried to change that throughout this pregnancy.

 

These mainstream stores do not have what we want nor do my husband and I support conglomerates.  Both are true...how is that a "change of tune"?

 

And what on earth did I do to offend you enough for you to judge and attack my venting?  I'm quite confused here...
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

Then don't have a shower, or tell people to come celebrate the baby and not bring gifts at all.  I'm sorry, you can vent all you want but I think it sounds extremely ungrateful and a bit holier-than-thou.  Maybe that is just MY pregnancy hormones.  And you went from "there's nothing at these mainstream stores we want" to "we don't support conglomerate stores" - bit of a change of tune.  It's not you supporting them either, it's the people who cared enough to come to your shower and buy you the gifts.



 

post #18 of 88

I guess I am not one of those people who thinks the words "I need to vent" mean you can say any old thing you want and not expect other people to share their feelings on it. What you posted rubbed me the wrong way.  And I am pregnant too, so when stuff rubs me the wrong way I don't tend to hold back.  

post #19 of 88

Okay. Rainbow.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by softlysinging View Post

I guess I am not one of those people who thinks the words "I need to vent" mean you can say any old thing you want and not expect other people to share their feelings on it. What you posted rubbed me the wrong way.  And I am pregnant too, so when stuff rubs me the wrong way I don't tend to hold back.  



 

post #20 of 88

Crap, we're having another baby! 

 

 

That's how I'm feeling this month. lol. Panic has set it. I went to buy a crib at Ikea and realized something I already knew - we still don't have room until we move. Yep. The rest of november & december will go by super quick since we are celebrating a lot of birthdays. I'm so not mentally ready for a baby... but I know everything will work its way out when he gets here. My kids, who I thought were so easy before getting pregnant, seem to have turned into little rowdy, mischievous monsters... but no one else seems to think so. I guess I'm just insanely irritable and preg-nuts. I just really want nothing but peace and quiet everyday from now until the baby is born.... Is that ok? :) I'm dreaming of candle-lit yoga and massages and ice cream and my feet in the sand~~~

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