Deciding when to tell - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[triple07]

Over here the only people that know are me, DH & my mom. I think we might announce it to everybody else at Christmas time. I am kind of dreading it because I don't know how my IL's will take it... They might be happy or not so happy because financially, we aren't in the best place right now.

[mom2a4Rashelle]

We let the cat out of the bag yesterday to EVERYONE. I was worried the response would have been, WOW you have four kids geez why another. The overwhelming response we have received is 98% positive with many congrats, couldn't happen to a better family etc etc. I did have the occasional wow your crazy, or what the heck but those people I have decided are just jealous. We pay our bills, we love our children and are thankful for the opportunity to be parents again. I am mostly happy we finally told our children. Now when evening sickness (that's what I call it) kicks my butt the kids can understand that mom needs to rest. Makes life MUCH easier now...

[lbkw]

Have begun to start telling more close friends but I get all freaked out that as soon as all of these people know, something will happen to end the pregnancy. I don't know why I'm so worried. I saw ultrasound. Baby is there with heartbeat...but I know that bad things can happen. Ugh! Why am I being such a downer?

[sjdragonfly]

I feel the same way! I've had two losses so I think that's partially why I'm so nervous to tell. I keep thinking that everything I do will jinx the pregnancy somehow even though I know that's ridiculous. I went ahead and told my mother and a few close friends but haven't started to tell anyone else, yet. We had an early ultrasound last week and saw the heartbeat, so I feel like things are going to go well for us this time and I'm very optimistic. I broke down and told a friend yesterday because I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Frankly, I'm surprised that my coworkers haven't figured it out. Or maybe they have and just chose not to say anything in case they were wrong. haha.

Anyway, we've decided to tell the world as sort of a "happy new year" type of thing. That'll be right before I hit 13 weeks which seems like good timing anyway. I have a feeling I'll break down and tell a few more people before then because everyone will wonder why I won't even have a glass of wine at the various holiday parties. 

[deborahbgkelly]

My uncle just somehow figured it out, so now that part of the family knows. How he figured it out, I have very little clue.

[LaLibertad]

I just found out a co-worker is due about a week and a half before me! Since this is going to have a major impact on our understaffed office, we decided that we should probably let the big boss know at the same time for planning purposes. She wants to wait until 12 weeks and I am fine taking her lead.

I have told family and a few friends :p. I don't want too many people to know then a message pops up on facebook or something. I'm friends with the Dean of our school on facebook. That might be a little awkward if that is how my work finds out.  Tell the roller derby team today!

[crunchy mom qi]

I lost my full term son in April.  If/ when I get pregnant, I won't want to tell everyone.  I worry that they'll want to talk about the new baby way more than I am comfortable because they'll be excited, but I'm still grieving.  And what if that means they quit talking about my son that I lost?  I don't want people to feel that I'm magically all better and that I'm moving on and away from my son.  I'm just moving forward.  I will still miss my little boy and I don't want everyone to forget him.

I'm thinking I'll wait until I'm showing.  Since I still have my baby weight from last time, I'm thinking I could get away with waiting until the 6th or even 7th month.  Then I'll just show up at my MIL's house, pull up my shirt.  I can have a big "BABY # 2" written on my belly, just so no one forgets the last baby still counts!

[scowgirl]

crunchy mom qi--I am so sorry for your terrible loss. I can't imagine what it would be like not only to go through that, but then to navigate all the pitfalls of dealing with people when you are pregnant again. I can easily see why you would want to wait until later in the pregnancy to tell anyone.

[GoofyInOK]

crunchy mom qi...  Like scowgirl, I am also so, so sorry that you lost your first son.  I can't even imagine.  If you don't want to tell anyone for a really long time, I would completely understand.  You really will have to do whatever is feeling right for you as it goes, because no one can (or SHOULD) tell you how to feel.  Hugs...  I wish you healing, but definitely not forgetting.  You will never forget your son!