How to get a 3 year old interested in cosleeping again

[gardenbelle]

Hi there,

I'm hoping someone might have a good suggestion on how to get a reluctant 3 1/2 year old interested in co-sleeping again.  He co-slept until he was 19 months and we moved him to his own bed because I was heavily pregnant and didn't want him to get woken up all the time once his sister came a couple months later.

Now fast forward almost two years and I now have a sweet 3 1/2 year old who is afraid to go to sleep by himself and needs my husband to lie down next to him in order to fall asleep.  My husband's back can't take sleeping on the twin bed so he inevitably comes back to bed after my son falls asleep.  My son wakes up once or twice a night and they repeat this.

We have tried telling him to come into our room and crawl in bed if he wakes up and he tried it once, but it was too dark so he ran back to his room and was afraid to try again.  We put nightlights into our room to encourage, but he is now digging his heels in on the situation and gets upset if we bring up the subject of sleeping in our room. 

Things we were thinking of trying are:

• my husband carrying him in before he goes to sleep
• my husband telling him that daddy is too big for his bed and if he wants to sleep with us, he needs to come into our bed
• buying a queen size bed and having my husband just sleep in there.

We don't want to start him off in our bed because we like to have our alone time just me and my husband before I go to bed (I go to sleep an hour or two before hubby).  Any other suggestions that worked would be great or if anyone has tried any of the above approaches and had luck, do tell.

Thanks so much for any suggestions and sorry the question turned out to be a little long!

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Something that has been really soothing for my kids to sleep in their own rooms without needing someone to lay down with them for a long time has been books on CD.  It's wonderfully soothing to have the voice (and usually it's a soothing voice) to lull a child to sleep without having to have a parent in bed with them.  Or would he be OK with dh sitting in a chair by the bed holding his hand or rubbing his back instead of actually having to stay in bed with him?

[Asiago]

Would your son's twin size bed fit in your bedroom?

[gardenbelle]

Thanks so much for the suggestions, ladies.  I love the idea of books on CD, I think I will look for some.  The night wakes ups aside though, I feel like he needs some extra comfort at night so I am really hoping he warms to the idea of coming into our bed in the middle of the night. 

As far as the twin bed, it would definitely fit but then my husband and I couldn't have our alone time before I go to bed.  After a hard day, it is so nice to curl up with him and talk about our days. :)

[tooraloora]

What about having another area for cuddling up and relaxing at night (maybe a day bed or futon in another room), and then relocating to the family bed later on in the evening?