Anyone else have a tantruming 13 month old?

[J's Mama]

Wow!  I'm really out of my depth here.  This is my second son but my first left me utterly unprepared for this little guy.  My first was (is) overly-cautious and easy going and there was no such thing as "the terrible twos" (he saved all that for 3!).  He didn't throw a tantrum until 3.  This little guy, on the other hand, has NO fear, very out-going and is now, suddenly, tantruming all day (or at least it feels like it!).  And I mean TANTRUMING - full-out, on the floor, crying and kicking feet tantruming.Many times a day.  I wasn't expecting this until maybe 18 mos or 2.  Is anyone else experiencing this with a toddler this young?

[tooraloora]

My DD started everything young, tantrums included. She took her first steps shortly before 8 months, and by a year, she was prone to getting incredibly frustrated when faced with her own limitations. She was a very spirited babe. On the bright side, she was nearly done with the regular tantrums by 2 (though she started up again briefly at 4). She's 6 now. She's very strong willed, independent, and outgoing. I'd like to be more like her. She can still be difficult at times, because she's still working on that whole impulse control thing, but she's loaded with personality (seriously, her cup runneth over), and that's shown from the beginning. My DS (15 months now) started throwing tantrums here and there about a month ago. It's not too bad with him, though. Usually no more than 1 or 2 per day, if that. The biggest problem with him is controlling my impulse to bust out laughing. He crawls under the couch to tantrum, with his little feet poking out and thrashing around. 

[MsDolphin]

DS (14 months) has tantrums, what I don't like is it seems I can't talk to him for him to understand. For example, he gets really pissed off when it's time to get out of the tub. When I start to drain the water, I tell him "bath-time is over" and let him play until the water is gone. Once he realizes he has to get out, he pitches a fit. I try to talk to him and say things like "you stayed in the bath a long time and played, tomorrow you can have another bath" but usually he is crying so much, I doubt he hears any of it.

[hildare]

our dd started tantruming early, even at 13 mos or so-- just like you describe. 

there's light at the end, though, b/c at least at this point at two, they've decreased a ton, they pretty much went away (the full throttle kind) when she got words.  we just encourage her to use them if she's not too mad. 

[J's Mama]

So glad to hear all this!  And Ms. Dolphin- I wouldn't even bother with the trying to explain it - they're so little you can't really reason with them yet.  They just have to blow over I guess. 

[hildare]

i don't know, i think there is lots of value in trying to help them label feelings...like

you're angry because bath time is over!  so mad!

i think that sort of talk went a long way in extinguishing our tantrums (but who knows what's around the next corner with that).  helping name feelings can get them to a verbal place and less angry, or at least it did for us.  it can't hurt, at least.

[MsDolphin]

Originally Posted by hildare 

i don't know, i think there is lots of value in trying to help them label feelings...like

you're angry because bath time is over!  so mad!

i think that sort of talk went a long way in extinguishing our tantrums (but who knows what's around the next corner with that).  helping name feelings can get them to a verbal place and less angry, or at least it did for us.  it can't hurt, at least.

I figured it can't be hurting to try to talk through it, it's just discouraging at times for me. Although I think it's a good habit to start now and when he is older, talking about whatever is upsetting him will help.