Making it on your own?

[Phoenix~Mama]

Just curious for those of you that have been able to keep your own place without having to move in with your parents or get a room mate...  How do you do it?

I'm banging my head against my budget again...  Maybe some of you have some tips and secrets to share?

[floss&ferd]

I'm really rather broke and have used a credit card for some things.  In the process of finding a part-time job but was just giving the kids some time to settle first.  STBX moved out October 1st.

Currently, I work 24 hours a week.  Once I am working another 8-16 hours I should be okay.  Luckily, I live in a pretty low cost of living area.

[PenelopeJune]

I am trying to figure this same thing out. I don't see how it will be possible. I work full time, and make just under $1000 a month. If I cut out ALL non-necessities and cut down on water and electric use, I will have just about $200 a month left for food, gas, and all the other little things that come up. Oh, and I won't be able to heat the house. In Kansas. So...yeah, not possible. I want to be on my own so badly but I have no idea how to make it work!

[Mom31]

I barely scrape by. I get a hefty amount of cs. I clean some houses and I was in a car accident a few years ago and got a settlement that is of course dwindling down to nothing.

WE live very simply....

But without that settlement I would have to work more- and soon will have to work more because it is going to be put away....

I find cleaning houses to be good money and short amounts of time which allows me the life I like- lots of freedom. I am currently looking for more houses to clean.

[jaam]

When xh and I separated he kept the house (I would never have been able to afford it) and we moved out of town and in with my parents. I was antsy to get out from under their roof and when we did, it didnt' work so we ended up back with them. The kids and I are in our own (tiny) place now and I'm going to school and it works because 1) xh actually pays his child support, which is a good amount, 2) I use the state's assistance program for child care to put ds in part-time preschool while I'm in class.

It's been kind of a blow to my pride to apply for some assistance programs but there was no other way, it won't be forever and I'll be on my own feet soon. I don't know how some women do it... child care is so costly that it wasn't even worth it for me to work full time and pay daycare. 

I'd check what assistance programs your state offers, there's often heating programs for fall/winter, child care, and of course housing and food, etc. 

eta: I also have a big office that I clean on weekends that pays pretty well for the amount of time spent. And the kids can come with me for this so there's no babysitter cost.

[Avani]

I work full time, go to school full time, apply for every low income thing possible (child care etc) babysit other kids, live frugally...every month is a struggle. I don't have a roommate or live with a parent option so I have to pray monthly that I will make it. I don't get any child support. I'm creative and some months I can't pay a bill.

[maeby]

pm do you want me to message you my monthly budget? i think we make pretty close to the same amount and both live in high col area. the big difference is you have an extra kid, but it might still be helpful?

[PenelopeJune]

I'm feeling pretty depressed and selfish for the last two days. I had come to the conclusion that the only way I could do it "on my own" was to move in with my mom for awhile so I could save up some money. But she just found out that her breast cancer is back, so that is off the table. I'm a jerk, because now I feel more stuck than ever. I'm furious that my mom is sick again. The cancer had only been gone for less than two years and now it's back and it totally sucks. And on top of having to worry about losing my mom, I have to be stuck here with a husband who is unsupportive and lazy and many more unflattering adjectives.

And it also makes me think: What if I get sick one day? My mom has an amazing and supportive and understanding husband who takes wonderful care of her. I do not want to be with this man who told me recently that the sole reason he didn't want to break up our marriage is because I'm "pretty."

[Phoenix~Mama]

Originally Posted by PenelopeJune 

I'm feeling pretty depressed and selfish for the last two days. I had come to the conclusion that the only way I could do it "on my own" was to move in with my mom for awhile so I could save up some money. But she just found out that her breast cancer is back, so that is off the table. I'm a jerk, because now I feel more stuck than ever. I'm furious that my mom is sick again. The cancer had only been gone for less than two years and now it's back and it totally sucks. And on top of having to worry about losing my mom, I have to be stuck here with a husband who is unsupportive and lazy and many more unflattering adjectives.

And it also makes me think: What if I get sick one day? My mom has an amazing and supportive and understanding husband who takes wonderful care of her. I do not want to be with this man who told me recently that the sole reason he didn't want to break up our marriage is because I'm "pretty."

I am so sorry about your Mom.  *hugs* And about not being able to figure out a way to leave. The trapped feeling is suffocating, and I can totally commiserate.

[simplemama32]

I'm sorry about your mom, PenelopeJune.  *Hugs*

OP, I lived with my parents for about 9 months before moving out on my own.  I think luck and circumstance had a lot to do with it...we live in a low cost-of-living area, my marital home sold for a nice profit (so I could afford the down payment on our current home), and I somehow received a small raise within weeks of moving in (after no raise for 4-5 years).  I also receive (so far) consistent child support (which I mostly save) and DS is only in p/t daycare (he stays with my parents the rest of the time).  I did fill out some tax form at work at my dad's suggestion that allows me to keep more of my income on a monthly basis.  So I won't get much of a refund, if any, next year, but I'm getting an extra $80 or so a month which really helps.

We're doing okay with the usual month to month stuff (knock on wood)...it's the "extra" things that are difficult, like saving up for christmas, vacations, and other special occasions.

[rubelin]

One thing about "refunds" - You might be very conditioned to consider that "extra money", but I suggest that you really look at whether or not it's a good idea for someone to hold onto some of your money every month and let you have it back at the end of the year. Having a few hundreds dollars more a month means you can pay off debts or a car faster or save some for a security deposit, etc, instead of getting so far behind that you are desperate to get the refund back to finally get caught up. It's best to break even on your tax return - getting nothing refunded and owing nothing (or as close to that as possible), so take as many exemptions as you can on your W4 to hang onto as much of your paychecks as you can.

[simplemama32]

Originally Posted by rubelin 

One thing about "refunds" - You might be very conditioned to consider that "extra money", but I suggest that you really look at whether or not it's a good idea for someone to hold onto some of your money every month and let you have it back at the end of the year. Having a few hundreds dollars more a month means you can pay off debts or a car faster or save some for a security deposit, etc, instead of getting so far behind that you are desperate to get the refund back to finally get caught up. It's best to break even on your tax return - getting nothing refunded and owing nothing (or as close to that as possible), so take as many exemptions as you can on your W4 to hang onto as much of your paychecks as you can.

What she said.    Thanks, Rubelin, you explained it much better than I was attempting!