Watched pots..... « Back to Group Discussions

[jbk21]

Anyone else have people calling them, bothering about when labor is happening?

I'm not due for another 8 days but my in-laws have already started calling my DH.  They called EVERYDAY (sometimes multiple times) during my first pregnancy despite us telling them that we would call if there was anything to update them on.  I went 10 days past my due date.... needless to say it was pretty obnoxious.

We rarely talk to my in-laws (twice a month) so the increase in calls is so obvious.  My DH is going to ask them for some privacy today.... we didn't share our due date with anyone for this very reason- people seem to think asking "are you in labor yet" will somehow help speed things along.  

Anyone else experiencing this?  Is it as frustrating to you as it is to me?!  I know people are excited but seriously, we are not going to have the baby and not tell anyone.  When there's something to tell, they'll know.

[IwannaBanRN]

Did your DH tell them "when anything happens, we'll call you?" I HATE it when that happens! My uncle called last time, with DD everyday since 39 weeks asking if I was in labor and wasn't I going to explode already?. So annoying! My UNCLE! lol Anyway, everyone else pretty much knows to leave me alone until I tell them it's time and when I do tell them it's time, I tell them I'll update when possible or have someone else update for me if I can't talk.

[jbk21]

Oh he told them.  Multiple times, in person, on the phone, in an email.  They don't get the hint.  I think they literally thought we'd have the baby and not tell them.  Then when we were induced they "just so happened" to decide to eat at a nearby restaurant (um, 45 minutes from their house, but down the street from the hospital).  OMG.  I'm just glad they're across the country this time and can't come peek in my windows.  Yeesh.

I will say, this time we are waiting to tell people until Dylan is born.  We let our parents and families know when we were in labor (well, we couldn't avoid it since we were induced) and they called and texted the whole time.  So annoying.  I know they're excited.... but it doesn't help anything to hover like that!

[IwannaBanRN]

Maybe you guys should set the boundary of telling them you will not be answering the phone until the baby comes and if they leave a voicemail, saying it's important (family emergency) you'll call them back.  They should know better than to think that you guys absolutely would not call them when the baby comes. My mom knew to not call, that she waited by the phone. lol She said it was hard to not call because she was worried, but she waited for me and DH to call.

[TalkToMeNow]

Um, yes. I have this. But I have to include dh in the mix. I get daily texts from my mom and brother asking if I'm in labor or if there are any signs of labor. I get hourly calls/ texts from dh asking the same. Luckily, they are all lovely people so I am being very patient. But, I only hit 40 weeks today. I'm not sure how long the patience will last. 

Also, no matter how many times I have tried to explain to dh that labor is not like what you see on tv, he keeps acting as if I will just BAM go into labor. Just like that! Every time I call, he's like, "Is it time? Do I need to come NOW!?" I keep telling him it's not that definite, but he is confused. "Did your water break?!?!?!" "No, honey. Remember, that only signifies the start of labor in less than 10% of women." "Yeah, but did it break??" Sigh.

I really didn't bother trying to get him to read up on birth during the pregnancy as I am pretty sure he won't make it. Poor guy. But I'm certainly not going to call him home from 4+ hours away for "maybe labor." I'm going to need to be 100% positive before I tell him... I would hate for him to waste one of those 3 days off he has. 

[Abraisme]

Luckily we don't have any family members that behave like that.  If my DH calls his parents, they will ask for an update, but they don't hassle us.  My mom is not like that either.  She has 5 kids and KNOWS that we won't just forget to let her know.. Ha ha.  I second the idea to change your VM message, screen your calls and only call them back when YOU want to.   

[TalkToMeNow]

Just wanted to update that dh hadn't asked in an hour about labor signs. I just got a text saying, "any contractions?"  Sigh. It's constant!!!

[Jaimee]

We don't have any members that behave that way either.  When they do call it's for other reasons and they'll ask how I'm feeling or anything has been happening, but it's not the reason for the call and I'm not usually the one fielding it (my parents don't call much b/c I hate the phone, so it's usually the in-laws).  My MIL did ask if I was dilated or effaced at all back when I was like 35 weeks, which I thought was odd- early much?

Sorry your relatives are driving you crazy.  I agree that a more direct approach could help.  Something like, "We will absolutely tell you when anything changes, but right now I need to relax and not focus on it."

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by Jaimee 

We don't have any members that behave that way either.  When they do call it's for other reasons and they'll ask how I'm feeling or anything has been happening, but it's not the reason for the call and I'm not usually the one fielding it (my parents don't call much b/c I hate the phone, so it's usually the in-laws).  My MIL did ask if I was dilated or effaced at all back when I was like 35 weeks, which I thought was odd- early much?

Sorry your relatives are driving you crazy.  I agree that a more direct approach could help.  Something like, "We will absolutely tell you when anything changes, but right now I need to relax and not focus on it."

Yeah we've said that.  We'll try again today.  Ugh.  They are really, really, REALLY oblivious.  

[jbk21]

Amanda, do you think he just really, really wants to be at the birth, so he wants to know AS SOON AS you start laboring so he can try to make it home?  It would drive me batty to be constantly asked, but at least you like him 

[LiLStar]

Send them here: www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com :D 

I don't get the phone calls or anything, but I do get looks of surprise when I show up places! Like every time I drop dd off at preschool, when I actually showed up for, vs canceling my chiro appt last night... when I go to yoga tonight. I just kinda shake my head like, "yeah, I didn't think I'd be here today either" My first 2 sure set the bar high when they arrived before their due dates! Now people expect that from me EVERY time. Weeell... not this time!

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by LiLStar 

Send them here: www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com :D 

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by jbk21 

Amanda, do you think he just really, really wants to be at the birth, so he wants to know AS SOON AS you start laboring so he can try to make it home?  It would drive me batty to be constantly asked, but at least you like him 

Oh, totally. Plus, he is super, super excited. He wanted this baby sooo bad. It's very sweet. But, it's still not going to make me go into labor! After the 11:40 text, I got another at 12:20 and then at 12:40. All asking if I'm having contractions. Patience...   I'm going to go take a Calm Forte! 

He knows, logically, that it is better that he miss the birth than come to early so that he gets to spend his time off with the baby. But emotionally I guess he *really* doesn't want to miss it. 

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by LiLStar 

Send them here: www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com :D 

I don't get the phone calls or anything, but I do get looks of surprise when I show up places! Like every time I drop dd off at preschool, when I actually showed up for, vs canceling my chiro appt last night... when I go to yoga tonight. I just kinda shake my head like, "yeah, I didn't think I'd be here today either" My first 2 sure set the bar high when they arrived before their due dates! Now people expect that from me EVERY time. Weeell... not this time!

I think on some level people don't think you should leave the house after a certain point. Seriously. I get the same thing. When people ask when you are due and your answer is "next week" or "Wednesday" or "today", they look so shocked! I know I will get some of that tonight when I take dd1 to rock climbing on my due date. But seriously... who else is supposed to do it? What, am I supposed to cancel life? Yeah, baby is "due" today. But we still need groceries, the kids still have activities, I still have to get dinner. 

OT, thank god tonight is Moe's night for us. My no cooking/ get take out night. Woo!

[dashley111]

I think the random people are the worst- even worse than family.  The lady at the coffee stand i go to in the morning says "Still pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?" every freaking day.  When I pick my kids up from school I get at least 3 comments before even making it in the school.  And my fuse is so, so, so short.

However, nobody is worse than my husband.  He text about 10 times a day:  "Contractions?"  "Are you in labor yet?"  "I really don't want to do this particular job, can you have the baby now?".  Every time I call him I don;t get Hello anymore- I get "Are you having a baby?".  And every time I say no he is disappointed.

[TalkToMeNow]

Originally Posted by dashley111 

I think the random people are the worst- even worse than family.  The lady at the coffee stand i go to in the morning says "Still pregnant?!?!?!?!?!?" every freaking day.  When I pick my kids up from school I get at least 3 comments before even making it in the school.  And my fuse is so, so, so short.

However, nobody is worse than my husband.  He text about 10 times a day:  "Contractions?"  "Are you in labor yet?"  "I really don't want to do this particular job, can you have the baby now?".  Every time I call him I don;t get Hello anymore- I get "Are you having a baby?".  And every time I say no he is disappointed.

Do we have the same husband?? Mine also keeps saying how he's ready for some time off. Sorry I'm holding you back, buddy! Lol.

I was just asked at the grocery store when I was due. I answered today. The woman shook her head and said, "whew, and you are out grocery shopping!" Like I'm doing something wrong. Ugh!

[IwannaBanRN]

Originally Posted by LiLStar 

Send them here: www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com :D 

 That's awesome! I love it!

[LiLStar]

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 


Do we have the same husband?? Mine also keeps saying how he's ready for some time off. Sorry I'm holding you back, buddy! Lol.
I was just asked at the grocery store when I was due. I answered today. The woman shook her head and said, "whew, and you are out grocery shopping!" Like I'm doing something wrong. Ugh!

Ooh I had that exact same thing said to me the other day when we were at Costco! It was more surprise than implying that there was anything wrong with it. I just said, "sure! Why not? I'm not in labor!" Then went on to add that even if I WAS in labor, I was *so* not above going out to pick a few things up, and that last time I was out shopping until ctx were 3 min apart ;) 

[mommy55]

I got a lot of this the last time......and I think I humored people at first.  I finally got so tired of it that I started coming up with obnoxious answers for people - "omg, yes, we had him three days ago and we're back at home already!"

My older sister was the worst........best intentions, and I'm sure she was joking most of the time, but she kept texting/calling/emailing to find out if the baby was here.  We finally had to be induced b/c the little guy wasn't coming out on his own, and I notified my family and closest friends ahead of time.  Thankfully, everyone left us alone at the hospital, except a couple of sweet texts from people sending genuinely good wishes.

It's hard b/c I know people are excited for us, but it is annoying when people keep asking stupid questions!

[Krystal323]

Wow, I am so glad I don't have to deal with all that!  The most I've gotten is a few FB wall posts asking how I'm feeling, which is fine, yk?  

It is pretty funny tho, ppl's attitudes:  "zomg, why are you out in public?!?!"  uhh, cause life goes on, and I'm not going to sit at home wishing for contractions for 5-6 weeks.  

See, I totally had the watched pot thing going with my first two--after that, I learned to add about 3 weeks to whatever I thought the due date was, to tell when ppl asked