My little girls just turned 2 in September. They are becoming toddlers so fast, I am having a hard time coping! I am at my wits end, I don't know how to make everything happy again, and I could REALLY use opinions, tips, advice, hugs, and anything else!
B is making it very hard for me to enjoy being a SAHM. From the very moment I wake up I hear the words "mommy", "hungry", and "binky" from her. She will even wake up in the middle of the night crying for me just to tell me in a half awake state that she's hungry. At first I thought growth spurt, but it has been going on for over a month! She is always saying she's hungry, but will never eat anything I try give her. She will just sit in front of her food saying over and over she's hungry. My response is often "B are you hungry?" "Yeah." "Ok, thats why I made you _______." "No mommy, hungry!" While I am in the middle of cooking her food she will get in between the stove and my legs and push me away to remind me she is hungry. When I talk to her and tell her we have to wait for it to cook, she will just whine and go open a cupboard that she thinks has snacks in it and say "Mommy! Up! Hungry!". She will then whine and cry when I remind her of the food I am making and ask her to wait. That girl has zero patience!
On top of that, she throws tantrums at the drop of a hat. She cries when I go to the bathroom. She cries when I walk into a different room and she can't see me. She cries when I tell her I can't pick her up be cause I am washing dishes/cooking at the stove/what have you. She will cry for her binky and when I tell her to go find it (it's attached to a lovey to make it harder to loose) herself she cries until I do it for her. She will not listen to anything I try to say to her, she will just repeat herself until she gets what she requested.
We have been temporarily (since late August) staying at my in laws, and when she cries for something I can't do (like pick her up while cooking) they will try to help by picking her up and getting her involved with what I'm cooking or holding her near me so we are face to face. She will not have it, I MUST hold her myself or she flips out. I tried to talk to her about it and I tried to validate her feelings and show her that I understand what she wants. Nothing is working. She just clings to me and complains when I won't let her get her way. I am the only one who gets that treatment from her. When my parents or my husbands family watch her, she is fine! The moment she sees that I am back within 2 minutes she is back to flipping out at the drop of a hat.
Did I mention her sister at all? No? That's because E is fine with being very independent and very curious. She is totally happy just roaming around the house by herself getting into and inspecting everything within reach. Annoying, depending what she grabs, but TOTALLY not a problem. Still I feel like she is missing out on getting to spend time with me. All of my energy goes into keeping a cool head and trying to handle B or enjoying those little morsels of time I can just breathe. My parents take the girls twice a week so I can have some time to myself to relax and clean, but I am thinking about keeping just E for one of those days every now and then just so I can focus on her. Do you think B, being only two, would notice and feel left out and act out more because I am not spending one on one time with her?
All in all, I don't know how to handle my little girls anymore! I have been hating myself because I have been quick to yell and snap at them. My ILs are suggesting things like walking away when she throws a tantrum. My thought is that will just fuel her desire to cling to me every moment. Not to mention she will feel alone and out of control because her emotions are running wild. I want to help her. I have been reading "happiest toddler on the block" book and it has some really great ideas that have worked on occasion, but it doesn't seem like they are really working. I may just not be using the suggested techniques the correct way. I am hopeful that when I finish the book I will be able to have a better understanding of how to use his advice and tips.
Holy smokes this is crazy long! Thanks for reading all of this. I really needed to blow off some steam (tonight was one of those VERY trying nights), and I don't have any mom friends that I can really vent to and seek advice from. None of my husbands family or my family uses/prefers gentle parenting/AP, so their suggestions is the typical mainstream advice. Thusly I turn to you awesome, smart people! :) Anything? Thank you!