Morality Question

[EchoSoul]

We'll be leaving in a week and a half for NY for a week to visit my family and a few friends. We don't vaccinate. Our son is 7 months, has no siblings, we live out in the boonies with not much contact with anyone. So our son really hasn't been exposed to many germs in the outside world, though I do let him touch whatever he wants.

Chances are one of my friends will have a newborn. I believe in giving newborns as much space as possible with no introduced germs. Assuming she's up for a visit, should I warn her beforehand he isn't vax'd so they can decide how comfortable they will be with our son being around their other year-old daughter and newborn girl, (or not around them even)? That would be the most courteous thing to do.

I'd LIKE for our son to play with their older daughter and have a playmate for the first time, but I know the chances of that may be slim. I'm not going to be selfish.

[lovebeingamomma]

I would never even think of this.  This just rubs me the wrong way, I get where you're coming from, I just don't like thinking of my child as some sort of threat to society.  Unless I KNOW she's sick, I wouldn't keep her from anyone, not even a newborn.  I did however have to ask my friend to please not bring her children to one playdate, as she had just given them the live flu vaccine mist and her daughter currently had a fever.  So honestly I think it's more of a concern the other way around. 

[EchoSoul]

That's my dilemma. I feel like if I told her "BTW, he isn't vaccinated." It'd be making a big deal about it. It isn't a big deal to me either, but it is for a lot of other people; hence why it's a morality question. And there's also the "I don't want YOUR unvax'd child making my vaccinated kids sick!" myth, and I don't know if she falls into that belief. As far as him not touching her newborn, they're having some health issues with her in utero, and on a personal level I just want to be as considerate as I can possibly be. When we had our son in at the doctor's a few months ago, I met a mother with her unvax'd children who had this "3 foot of personal space" rule. She kept insisting her kids not touch our son, and I was flattered by the courtesy, but told her it wasn't necessary.

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by lovebeingamomma 

I would never even think of this.  This just rubs me the wrong way, I get where you're coming from, I just don't like thinking of my child as some sort of threat to society.  Unless I KNOW she's sick, I wouldn't keep her from anyone, not even a newborn.  I did however have to ask my friend to please not bring her children to one playdate, as she had just given them the live flu vaccine mist and her daughter currently had a fever.  So honestly I think it's more of a concern the other way around. 

I agree with this.

Unless your friend vets everyone her newborn comes into contact with to determine their vax status (doctors, nurses, family, friends, the cashier at the grocery store), then there is no reason to bring it up.

Your baby is no more likely to be a vector for a VPD than anyone else.

[EchoSoul]

Thanks, then. You guys are right. :) I didn't want to make a big deal about it because like I said - I don't think it's a big deal - but based on my friends' reactions(I don't think she was around) when they last found out we weren't planning on vaccinating; I guess I was playing out the worse "what if" scenario.

[kathrineg]

I guess I don't see why you wouldn't mention it if it's not a big deal? If she has questions maybe you can explain your reasoning. She might be curious instead of hostile.