Need help with DDs Potty Learning. . .

[ThankfulMama]

DD is 2.5 and is able to communicate when she needs to go potty and poop and she has good bladder control.  She has for quite some time.  She first started sitting on the potty when she was 11-12mos.  We have tried letting her use the potty at her own pace, but she is mostly refusing to do it.  I now WOH so I can't keep her diaper free all day (she is with a family member during the day who isnt interested in diaper free).  I would really like to get her out of diapers as soon as possible because I'm expecting twins in April.  I want to encourage her to be out of diapers well before that so there is not so much change in her life all at once next spring.

Any help?

[Caitlin0919]

With my DD, we would give her a small piece of candy every time she sat on the potty for at least the count of 10 just to get her more interested in it. If she actually went, she'd get an extra piece of candy and she got to put a sticker on a chart showing that she went(and of course she'd get all kinds of praise). After awhile, we no longer needed to reward her just for sitting so candy became just for using the potty, then it became just for pooping since that took her a little longer to get and pretty soon we just stopped giving her candy and using a chart altogether because she was going on her own without needing any sort of motivation. Maybe you could try something like that with your DD. It would be easy to stay consistent between you and the person caring for her during the day. We just used a calendar as her chart so she could see how many times she used the potty every day.

[ThankfulMama]

Thanks.  I just can't seem to get past this bump and I'm not sure why.  I have a feeling that if she was around lots of children her age who use the potty on a daily basis she would transition quite fast.  I think she does not want to go on the potty for some reason.  We have tried different potties and the "new" ones are fun for a bit but then lose the newness.  She is so excited when she does make a potty on the chair, but it seems there is something standing in the way (she gets nervous sometimes when the potty comes out) and I'm not sure how to overcome that.

[Caitlin0919]

The only thing that I can tell you that works 100% of time when it comes to PL is time. Just wait and let her come to it on her own. It's extremely frustrating, especially when other kids her age are getting it, but hang in there and she'll get it. DD went back and forth with it for a long time over the course of a year and then one day, she just decided she wanted to do it and that was that. It sucked waiting for that day and trying not to get frustrated or angry when she had an accident, or pushing her to use the potty more, but now that she's PL'ed I'm so grateful that I let her do it on her own time. Good luck and hang in there! It won't last forever!

[ThankfulMama]

question: Does wait it out mean just totally ignore it and continue on in diapers with absolutely no mention of potty? I guess I just feel like I don't know what to do.  Should I do diaper free time or not?  I certainly don't want to pressure/force her but I want to be helpful to her and encourage her. 

[organicviolin]

keep offering and don't be surprised for a big old no from her.  Oh DS was so close (minus pooping) and then had no interest.  We didn't push, just asked him hey you wanna sit on the potty?  Rejection for over a month.  Now he's into it again.  Today we made head way in that he actually asked me to help him pull down his pants to help him go potty.  That was a first!!!

[Caitlin0919]

Ditto what organicviolin said. Just offer and if she says no, don't push it. I did diaper-free with DD but I was a SAHM at the time so I didn't have to worry about someone else being okay with it. If you can get her other caretaker on board, I'd say try doing diaper-free. DD kind of got a false sense of security from wearing stuff like training pants and underwear. Something was still there so she'd still go in her pants and then wonder why she was all wet. When she didn't have any bottoms on at all, she knew she wasn't supposed to pee on the floor so she'd try to make it to the potty. It didn't always work out, but she got the hang of it. If you plan to try diaper-free, plan on cleaning up a LOT of accidents.

[ThankfulMama]

That's DD too.  If I put on panties and pants she will fall into diaper mode.  If bare bottomed or just panties and she's good about telling us she needs to go.  Its just that most often she doesn't want to go once she sits down.  I don't mind the accidents during diaper free time so much (well, those on the floor) because we have hard floors throughout, I think I'm just running feeling torn about what to do or not do.  DD is my first, and my first time working with a child learning to potty so I have little confidence/know how.

Maybe I should try diaper free this weekend? What do I do when she's diaper free and asks for a diaper?

Organicviolin- congrats on your success today.

[organicviolin]

aw thanks!  I was psyched.  We are far from trained though.  Do whatever you feel comfortable with.  If on the weekends it's diaper free then that's fine.  Part time diaper free isn't going to hurt that's for sure.

[ThankfulMama]

thanks so much.