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Mothering › Groups › September 2011 Birth Club › Discussions › I bought a pacifier and now I feel terrible

I bought a pacifier and now I feel terrible

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Sydney has always loved to suck, but  she does not like to comfort nurse (probably because I have an overactive letdown.)  We usually use our pinky finger if she needs it, but she seems to need it a lot more these days.  She's been trying to get her hands/thumb into her mouth, but can't seem to figure it out, and she gets really frustrated and sometimes wakes herself up trying to suck her hands.  BF was really adamant she not have a paci, and I don't like them much either, so we've held out til now (she's 8 weeks tomorrow.)  My first daughter had one for about 10 months, but weaned herself from it, and my son never had one at all.

 

I bought one today, partly because BF was starting to cave on her not having one, and because she's been super cranky the past couple days, and the only thing that seemed to calm her down was sucking my finger (nursing wasn't cutting it.)  Also, tomorrow we're driving down to my parents' for the first time since she was born, about 1 1/2 hours away, and I don't think I can handle it if she cries the whole time. 

 

So I gave it to her tonight for the first time, and she is happily snoozing/sucking away.  I feel like ripping it out of her mouth, I feel terrible!  I clearly have issues!  I know it doesn't make me a bad mom, but for some reason I have massive guilt over this!

post #2 of 6

Oh honey I understand completely :(

I had to give Kai a paci when I went on nipple rest a few weeks ago, and I cried so hard...I wanted to be his only source of comfort. I have sine come to terms with his need to suck, and my own OS and OALD preventing me from being his pacifier, I actually cleaned out the CVS of all Avent Soothies pacis!!

 

Now, the first week or so, Kai was all about his paci...but in the last week and a half I have noticed him shunning it in favor of the bood, which is more reasonable now since block feeding has done wonders to manage my OS.

 

Dont beat yourself up about this Robyn, you are doing what you need to do for your baby and it's ok.

 

xoxo

post #3 of 6

Oh, mama!!

 

hug2.gif

 

I felt the same way when I started using one with Mattie, but I've let it go too. If she's happy, it's all good. You are not using it to replace feeding her or otherwise comforting her in any way you can and she won't need it forever (she will eventually find her fingers and be able to get them in her mouth on a regular basis - LOL).

 

I mostly felt bad about using one because I had been so adamant about not using them and had been critical/judgmental about others use of them... so I felt like I was a traitor to my own values and then I felt like a terrible person for judging others before I really knew what it was like to be in a position where nothing you can do soothes them and then the paci does it like magic. I felt so ashamed mostly, but when I saw how happy he was and how quickly he fell asleep, I couldn't help but let that all go. Car rides and when he's so fussy that he eats himself to the point of vomiting are the two instances when I use it. I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

post #4 of 6

I feel exactly the same way, if it makes you feel better! Luke has also been really fussy the last few days and not sleeping great during the day, he prefers to snooze with the nipple in his mouth and wakes and roots madly when I take him off. He is the opposite and loves to comfort nurse to the point where he is spitting up because he is so full. So that is a problem too that could be helped with something else to suck on...so I have been considering a pacifier too and close to buying one, but I feel horrible about using one too. I have the same issues you do. :)

 

I never used one with my other kids simply because they wouldn't take one - they hated their car seats too and I tried! They would get MAD when I gave it to them. My husband called it the "agitator".

 

eta DH picked up a soothie for me and it worked great in the car, but seemed to make him spit up like crazy, anyone else have this happen??


Edited by Gracecody - 11/13/11 at 3:02pm
post #5 of 6

I don't have the spitting up issue, but Cassidy can't hold onto the paci for more than one sucking round.  So, its useless for us unless someone is in the backseat with her, she just drops it right away...

post #6 of 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamareba View Post

I don't have the spitting up issue, but Cassidy can't hold onto the paci for more than one sucking round.  So, its useless for us unless someone is in the backseat with her, she just drops it right away...



This is one of the advantages of having a 3.5 yr old daughter who is obsessed with the baby, she's over the moon to be given pacifier duty in the back seat. ;)

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