Something else I'm stressing over--vaccines « Back to Group Discussions

[rareimer]

I am very against vaccination.  My daughter was vaccinated on schedule until she was a year old, and I finally did some research on it.  I think it's possible she may have been injured by her 2 month vaccines, as it was shortly after that she started screaming and vomiting constantly--for almost 3 years.  She couldn't even eat solid food til she was 2 1/2.  She has Asperger's, and I think vaccines may have something to do with it.  She definitely changed after those 2 month shots.  My son is not vaccinated at all, he's as healthy as a horse.  I do not want Sydney vaccinated.

BF is adamant she get her vaccines.  He won't even let me try to explain why I am against them.  I've offered to let him read books, articles, websites, watch videos...he won't.  I know where he's coming from--before I did the research, I believed that people who didn't vaccinate were putting their kids in danger.  If I could just get him to look at some information before he makes his decision, so we can have a fair discussion, I'm sure he would see how I feel.

They make an automatic appointment for 2 month shots at birth--hers is on Nov 17.  I have no intention of letting her get them.  In all honesty, he probably won't remember about them (we haven't discussed it since she was born!) and I would be the one taking her anyways...so I'm just going to cancel the appointment and leave the subject be for now.  That might be wrong, but so would letting her get the shots.  I *might* be open to selectively vaccinating, and delaying, if after doing the research and discussing, he still felt it was important. 

Is it wrong that I'm just hoping he'll forget?

[Sukhada]

This sounds like a really hard scenario. I would find it difficult to simply not tell my partner, but I think you need to do what you feel is best. I think it might be best to at least delay vaccination a little bit until you and your partner have had some time to discuss it further and come to some kind of agreement. It must be very difficult for you not to have your partner on the same page as you, particularly on something that is so very important to you. I hope that you're able to work things out. I understand your concerns around vaccination. I am also hesitant about vaccination and scheduled my 2 month appointment late because I need more time to make the decision.

[scsigrl]

I assume he knows your other child isn't vaxed on schedule, right? He can see she is fine.  

DH and I went over and over it.  It came down to these two things:

a) You must research it or your vote doesn't count. For or against, you need to look into it.

b) If you don't research it, I will decided and you can not ever hold it against me because you chose not to research it.

I know that doesn't work in even house but the way I see it is if only one of us is educated on something they get the bigger say.  DH chose not to do any research.  That was his choice so since I was the one who did all the research I made the choice for us.  Works that way with everything from electronics to vaxing here!  I don't care about the TV we get as long as it works.  I am not going to spend time researching it so I can't complain if I don't like it in the long run.  

[emmy526]

Your Bf sounds like a control freak who wants to have input in all the decisions but doesn't want to have to do the work required to be educated in order to make that decision in the right frame of mind.  If this issue is really dividing you two, seriously think about how other issues are going to be handled as well. Are you willing to sacrifice your instincts as a mother b/c of an uneducated person?  If he refuses to do anything to educate himself on the issue, then my opinion is that he doesn't get a say-so on how medical issues are going to be handled with your baby either.    You can always get the vaxes later, but you can't take them back. 

If you can, have him look at some of these links:

http://vactruth.com/2011/11/03/3-life-changing-mistakes/----life changing mistakes parents make when vaccinating

http://hopkinsvaccine.org/package_inserts.htm--package inserts & ingredients

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/10/30/the-greater-good.aspx

the movie, The Greater Good..

it talks about the vaccine scam being thwarted onto our children at THEIR cost....the cost being their very livelihood at stake and being a guinea pig for pharma for the rest of their lives. 

[Gracecody]

It sounds like you have a VERY good reason to be making the decision you are, and I am sorry to hear that your BF isn't respectful of this esp based on the experience you have had with your daughter and all the research you have done.

I also had my first vacced on schedule until he was 6 mos old and was having issues with intestinal bleeding that turned out to be related to food allergies...I wanted to stop the vaccines until I coulld get everything sorted out and him healed...we ended up doing a few then at 2 years old and getting him caught up before he started preschool at age 5. He had far fewer shots this way. My daughter didn't have any at all until 2 years old and then only a few that I thought were most important. We'll do the same with her, getting her caught up before starting school and probably that sam overall approach with Luke. If the child is at home mostly and breastfed, then I think it's a much easier decision.

[emmy526]

Originally Posted by rareimer 

BF is adamant she get her vaccines.  He won't even let me try to explain why I am against them.  I've offered to let him read books, articles, websites, watch videos...he won't.  I know where he's coming from--before I did the research, I believed that people who didn't vaccinate were putting their kids in danger.  If I could just get him to look at some information before he makes his decision, so we can have a fair discussion, I'm sure he would see how I feel.

Is it wrong that I'm just hoping he'll forget?

That is nothing more than hopeful thinking at this point. If he really respected your opinion, he would at least look/read some the material you've read so he is aware of what you are reading and can make an educated decision along with you.  What if he doesn't  "forget"?  The issue is bound to come up sooner or later.   Men don't forget much of anything.   Stick to your guns in regards to your baby and don't let anyone bully you into doing something you may regret.  Imo, if this is something that could ruin your relationship, then maybe this is the big red flag you need.  

and cancelling the appt' isn't wrong if it works for you.  I didn't take any of my kids to the WBV..........just another ploy to vaccinate your child.  You can do height and weight at home, and if you suspect something is really wrong, then you can go to a dr to find out the problem.  

[Mommel]

Originally Posted by emmy526 

If he really respected your opinion, he would at least look/read some the material you've read so he is aware of what you are reading and can make an educated decision along with you.  What if he doesn't  "forget"?  The issue is bound to come up sooner or later.   Men don't forget much of anything.   Stick to your guns in regards to your baby and don't let anyone bully you into doing something you may regret.  Imo, if this is something that could ruin your relationship, then maybe this is the big red flag you need.