I never pictured myself as not getting along with my MIL. Yes, she ask my BF of 7years if he remembered the girls from his old church a little too much (he stopped going when he was 18). But other than that I enjoyed talking to her about herbs and different things. So much so that I asked her to be at my home birth and it didn't hurt that she was an RN :). She sort of protested but I thought she was just being nice. Now, my dd is 21mo and has spent the night w/ her grandmother less than a handful of times. She only works a couple days a week so it's not work but rather it feels like something much more personal.
I go to school 1/2-full time. I just completed my associates and am working on getting into a program for ultrasound tech. I go to school online now and am a SAHM. On the other hand my 'SIL' (for all intensive purposes) is a SAHM but her boys stay the night with MIL at least once a week! And when they aren't staying the night she goes over there while her husband is at work. She is getting so much more free time and she isn't trying to go through school so her family can have a better life! Also the only thing I can see that they have in common is that they both got pregnant at like 19. Other than that they are completely different people! And I don't like being around SIL very much because it is VERY uncomfortable because she is just a very quite/strange/judgmental person -I have tried though! I have tried and she just sits there, stares at you and doesn't say a word! I tried going over to MIL's house more to run on treadmill and get some together time because they will absolutely NOT stop over here. They rarely ever call to see if they could watch DD and then this happened...
Last winter MIL agreed to watch DD so BF & I could go out on our first date in over a year, it would also be one if not the first time she would watch dd. We had this planned for weeks but on that wednesday MIL called BF and said she couldn't watch DD because SIL&BIL were moving (for the 7th time in 2 years). I feel like she totally ditched us. We never went out on that date. Why did they have to move that weekend? Why couldn't sil get her many brothers to help them move?
And that wasn't the only incidence; We would try to go out of our way to make trips to take DD to see her grandparents but MIL would be out with SIL or watching her boys. Did I mention it wasn't safe to leave DD around SIL's oldest boy? Yeah, he was believed to be autistic by everyone (including father of 2 autistic boys) and she wouldn't get him tested because then she wouldn't have enough money to buy new clothes! I didn't know if he would lash out or throw something at her so I was stuck caring for a baby that no one had any interest in helping me with. It was so bad that I lied and said I had a baby shower to go to on a day when both SIL's and MIL wanted to take me and DD to the zoo. I don't think I would change my decision but since that day tensions have definately been raised.
Why would someone with less in common, and less need for a babysitter be given the help? I believe it's because of their religion. Jehova Witnesses are very strict about only closely associating with other JW's or so I've come to find out. They also don't celebrate Birthdays, christmas, easter NOTHING! They believe it's all pegean and beneath them. I don't care what they believe I just wish they could participate in our family traditions. It never occurred to me before I had a kid because it only matters to me if they are there for her and they aren't! I want to tell them I would like to see them at her B-day party this year but BF assures me they won't come and I shouldn't even bring it up. But I'm just to that point were enough tension has built up and I don't really care if they ever see their granddaughter again! I don't want to use her as ammo, it's just that none of this makes seance and I'm tired of acting like I don't have anything to say! So, any advice on how to approach MIL with this? Should I just let it alone? Thanks for letting me vent, if nothing else :)