Putting Babe Down for Naps

[Dulcette]

My 17-week-old DD is a great sleeper...but perhaps only because she gets so much comfort from me (or very occasionally DH) when she sleeps. :)  In the day, she generally doesn't fall asleep during nursing for some reason, so I let her fall asleep upright and against my chest after she's sucked on my finger for a while.  She also gets a nap almost every day in a Beco carrier I use while we walk the dog.  We co-sleep at night and she usually needs to nurse a bit to fall asleep 'for good' (i.e. for about a four-hour period before she nurses again and sleeps another four hours before stirring).  The night routine doesn't bother me at all and I am luckily, generally well-rested, which is why the topic of this thread is just naps.

I'm struggling first not with the question of how to change the nap routine, but the whether to.  I do sometimes set DD safely down on her own after she's fallen asleep for a nap, and now that she's past the sleepy newborn stage, she rarely naps on her own for long (most of the time, she wakes up immediately).  When she's with me, though, she can take naps without stirring for up to two hours, and often does a daily super nap of four hours with nursing in between.  I am a SAHM who has few responsibilities for now (especially since I've given up on housekeeping at the moment!) other than to cook dinner with lots of leftovers 1-2 times a week, to do our laundry, and, of course, to care for our one and only baby.  While I do sometimes feel trapped by my napping babe, most of the time, I really enjoy holding her, and I can still use my laptop and get e-errands done.

My #1 concern, of course, is that she'll never learn to sleep on her own unless I make a real effort to change our routine.  Is that a founded concern, or can I just wait for her to become more mobile and independent and expect sleep independence naturally, gradually to develop?  I also often think that I should get used to putting down a little baby now because there's no way I could do this in the future with other kids (since older DD will want attention!)--but this is a pretty silly thought, as if it's my only chance to do this and it's not detrimental to DD, I should take it!  I'd love input from other mamas.  Thanks for reading!

[katelove]

At that age our baby was still having most of her daytime sleeps on or right beside one of us. Somewhere around that age I did start feeding her to sleep in bed and then getting up again for some of her sleeps but not all. Now, at 17 months, I still feed her to sleep but I can get up and leave her sleeping with no trouble at all. It was a natural progression for her. She still feeds several times overnight but that's fine.

I would say carry on for as long as you're both happy. You can always look at changing things when it stops working for one of you. Enjoy the closeness and the luxury of being able to do it. As SAHMs with only one child it's probably the only chance we'll get 

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Dulcette 

My #1 concern, of course, is that she'll never learn to sleep on her own unless I make a real effort to change our routine. 

Never is a really, really long time.  I think you're doing great and taking great care of your LO.  

I agree with PP, it'll be a gradual transition.  And yes, enjoy it, b/c if this is only your first baby, you most likely won't be able to do this again with subsequent children (unless their age gap allows for it).  

[Dulcette]

Thanks for your responses!  I feel better about our nap system now. :)  I have considered trying to nurse her to sleep for naps and leaving her in bed, but I guess the issue again is that she rarely falls asleep nursing for naps, so she's upright against me when she falls asleep, so it's difficult to move her onto a flat surface without her waking because it's such a change in her positioning.  I might start wearing her down in the Beco so it's easier to move her, but I won't feel pressured to change things right away.

[BabySmurf]

i just wanted to tell you what my experience was - take it as you want!

my DS was an obligate chest sleeper until about 7 months old.  As in the *only* way he would sleep was nursing or cuddled on my chest.  I think part of it had to do with belly issues and at another point we moved and i didn't have a place to put him down...and then still more tummy troubles.  people thought i was nuts! and, at times it did drive me nuts.  most of the time, though, it was a wonderful thing to snuggle with my babe.  my house was messy, and sometimes my "chores" wouldn't get done...but luckily i have an awesome DH who understood that DS needed the comfort. 

we went through many sleep phases (after the sleepy newborn phase), where he would take three two or more hour naps, then he went through a phase where he was taking multiple 30 min naps, then back to longer stretches.  sporadically, i would try to put him down in his crib (we co sleep at night), and his startle reflex always woke him up, and he had a lot of trouble getting to sleep with me just patting his tummy or bottom.  he would sometimes be okay for a little while, but it was always short lived. 

eventually, he had a lot of trouble settling to sleep (i.e. overstimulated), and I started having to put him to sleep in our darkened bedroom so that he would recognize that it was nap time.  for a while he still needed me to stay with him for his entire nap time...and then slowly he would unlatch and roll over and I could escape for a little while and do some chores...or go online .  this happened for us around 7 months, and it started out that i could do it just a couple times per week, and gradually increased so that now, unless he is sick or cranky, most of the time i can let him nap. at about 8 months i ended up just putting a twin mattress on the floor of "his" room, so that he can get up and come get me when he wakes up rather than trying to get him used to the crib.  we use the crib in a side car arrangement on the bed so that we have more space to sleep at night. 

DS just turned one, and that first year really does fly by! it seems like forever in the moment, but truly enjoy this time if you can! We probably won't be able to do this with subsequent children, so until we get grandkids, this may just be the last chance we get to relax with a sleeping babe on our chests.  so i say, if it's working for you - cherish it!

i'm not sure that i could have done anything differently to "get" him to sleep better, it's just the way he was.  and accepting that was freeing so that i could actually enjoy the time.  he's actually still not a great sleeper, but that's okay.

HTH!

[Asiago]

Sounds like you are doing a great job, and most importantly it's working for your baby. When it know longer works for her, you can always change things. 

[sundaya]

Individual babes are just so different. DD (almost 3) would not sleep unless held until she was 10 months old. For some reason, at 10 months old, she became able to be set down for naps, after she was already asleep. In the early days, after I tried everything, and then just realized that's how she's wired, I was able to let go of what I "should" be doing, and just enjoy holding/wearing her. She still needs a lot of parenting to sleep, but I think that's just her. DS (17 weeks) can be set down anywhere, for the most part, and continue napping. If I had my preferences, that's for sure the order I'd have chosen. I'm able to hold and snuggle him when I can, but it's not obligatory for his sleep. He does get some good naps while being worn at the park and on walks, though, and my snuggle time comes in the moments where DD is engrossed in something else. So, don't think you'll never get that time with subsequent children, it just has to be shared.
Babies have been worn/held for sleep for all of history. It's the setting down and walking away thing that's new. As long as it works for you, ignore everyone who tells you different and go with your gut. It's so true that you'll never regret the moments you held your baby. And they race so quickly into adulthood.