Any larger ladies with "fit" DPs? FRUSTRATED

[CookieMonsterMommy]

My BF and I are broken up right now, but a main struggle of mine was (and probably is) living with him...seeing him eat WHATEVER he wants (I'm talking mountains of rice, fried chicken, ribs, cole-slaw, KFC, steaks, burgers, etc) and never gain a pound. He also doesn't work out at all, and at home is the most sedentary person I know! Not only that, but he has a GREAT body (muscular arms, chest, a 6-pack).

I'm 5'5" and about 153 (last I checked, about a week ago. I threw out the scale...it was leading me back to bad past habits...not to mention that weighing myself 5, 6 times a day wasn't good for my mental health).

I usually stay between 151-155...no major gains, just seems IMPOSSIBLE to lose. I've tried diet pills (big mistake....!), and I went to the gym almost daily for like 9 mos, but had to stop when we moved, and haven't been to one in like, forever.

I used to be over 200, went down to 130ish, then after meeting my SO I went up to about 133 (you know how it is-you're finally comfortable w/someone). Of course, I wasn't happy with 130 or 133 (I'd LOVE to be that now). Anyways, got pg, went up to 180 or so, had the baby, went down to 160, lost a little and have been stuck in my current range for like 2-3 years.

Anyways, back to topic--does anyone else find it hard to cook healthy AND yummy meals, eat good portion sizes, resist when DP brings home more than enough KFC/Wendy's etc....not to mention maybe feeling a little resentment towards the lucky SOB?


Any advice?

Thank you everyone, and best of luck.

PS-I'm not currently making an active attempt to lose weight, not exactly motivated right now...lol as I munch on a McDonald's fajita, washed down with a coke, keeping all the Easter candy crammed in my belly company.....

sigh....so sad!

[cortsmommy]

I totally understand everything you are saying! My husband can eat ANYTHING and does. I have the pounds to prove that it doesnt work on me. I was skinny and fit until I married him and now I'm overweight. Can I just blame it all on him please? :LOL :LOL :LOL

[DesireeH]

Add me to the club......my dh has gained some weight and doesnt have a 6 pack or anything but NOTHING to what I have gained!! I gained 50 pounds the FIRST YEAR we were married (its been 5 years now so its time to come off!)!!! I am now 188 ish and I am 5'7........I know I will never be 130 again......I would be happy with 155......but even when I so strict on a diet and dh is doing it with me, he CHEATS BAD and still lost 7 pounds in a week! Sheesh!!!!!!!!

[ekblad9]

YES! My dh is 5'10 and 150 lbs! He works out several times/week and is very fit. He eats garbage. It drives me nuts. I'm 5'6 and like 165 After I had my third baby I weighed 115 lbs. I'll never see that again. I do enjoy my lattes and treats. I did work out very regularly until about a month ago. I feel bad for him that he has to live with me. I'm just yucky looking. I don't even really care, though. I have no will power when it comes to food and no time or energy to excercise. Plus I'm tandem nursing so there's my excuse! Anyway, no helpful advice here. Sorry!

[Jane]

We're not that uneven, but I've gained more than he has. I have to keep remembering and reminding him NOT to split the meals. We often make one pot stir fries or noodle, or even split a steak and he tries to make the portions as equal as possible.
HON - I DON'T WANT TO WEIGH 200 LBS
If we continue to eat exactly the same portions, we'll weigh exactly the same!

[MommyWendy76]

My husband used to be like that. He was 150lbs and 6 feet tall. He is in the Army, so he does do PT all the time, but finally... it all caught up to him!! Now he is 219lbs and 6 feet! He is getting out of the army in '07 and I can just see him gaining LOTS more weight. He just refuses to give up the fat and sugar!

Wendy

[justmama]

I completely sympathize with you all. My bf is 160lbs and 5'11". Every single inch of him is rock hard muscle and he eats Burger King and carbs and sugar and all that garbage! I would like to lose about 30lbs to get back to 130lbs because that was a really great weight for me. He doesn't care, he says I'm beautiful the way I am(awwwwwwwwwww!) but I need to do it for me. I'm only 23 years old and I don't want to be fat forever. But GEEZ! I get so irritated with him. He eats absolute crap every day and CAN"T gain weight. He's trying because he thinks he's too skinny. Granted, he's in the air force and does run PT 3 days a week but still. Other than that, he's a couch potato. I'm the one hitting the gym 5 days a week and still not losing weight. Grrrrr!
Meg

[CookieMonsterMommy]

fae.....I know what you mean! My ex (or boyfriend, whatever the hell he is right now!!) is taking weight gainer right now! Plus eating all the crap he wants and more. : Every day I hear "Do I look any bigger??" or "I only gained 2 pounds!" Grrrr...

And he has the same attitude as your bf--You look good like that. Well, that's nice that he thinks I do....but I don't. I also would like to get back to 130's (I'd be VERY happy with around 135, which I though was a good weight for my 5'5" self).

Right now, my bigger "problem" areas are my pooch (stomach), my thighs and my butt. BUT-I've always had a big butt, and I like that (IMO, it's one of my better features-big as it is, it's nice and round, lol)

I guess I can't really complain too much, because I don't really gain....I just
C-A-N-T lose!

Okay, well, keep me posted!

--Kelly

PS-Any ideas as to how to deal with him bringing home junk (and I mean JUNK) food and eating it in front of me? His thing is It's his home, his money and his appetite, so why don't I just not eat it. So one of 2 things happens a. I eat it and feel guilty and a little annoyed at him b. I resist eating it but resent him (both for temping me and for him being able to eat it). And yes, I tried leaving, but that doens't work well when as soon as I get home from work (at around 10pm) he makes a Burger King run or whatever.

PLUS-Is it me, or is it like those places want us to be fat? I don't mean by making unhealthy food, because they DO have plenty of healthy choices, but the pricing!
Around here, at BK you can get a veggie burger for about $3 (one patty, buns, ketchup and a pickle). But a Jr WHopper is only about $1.30 (one patty, buns, pickles, ketchup, lettuce, onion, mayo).
At McDonalds, one of those chicken salads=over $4!! One McChicken (fried patty) sandwich is $1! A GRILLED chicken sandwich=$3+
WTF???

edited because some of you might like the letters to be in some sort of order :

[Journey]

I'm about 190 lbs right now, at 5'8". My husband is now at his heaviest, 150 lbs at 5'10". He is an admitted food addict. Seriously. He's CONSTANTLY eating. He doesn't do actual exercising, but he is picking up people and wheelchairs all day, so I guess that counts for some exercise. I work my butt off, riding my bike, yoga, using my home gym and other miscellaneous workout equipment and videos.

*sigh*

All I want is to be lighter than him. He says he'll meet me halfway! LOL!

That bastard.

[Fisherb]

I have a DH that also can eat ANYTHING and gain nothing. But, I gotta say, I'm pretty used to it.

I am 5'4", and I used to be 191, now I'm at 155 and feel MUCH better. Besides, I finally weigh less than my 6'3" hub! Yes, he's only 165.

The thing that has cured me from wanting the junk he brings home is counting calories. I know it's annoying and a little obsessive compulsive, but I don't do it religiously. I only do it for eat-out meals. (well, I estimate)... The big take-out places put them online, or they are at least findable, and I'm telling you -- I don't want to go near any of it. Do you know how much normal food I can eat for the same as one Taco Bell meal that doesn't even taste good? It's a lot.

I don't know what else to suggest -- when I grocery shop, I also buy him treats that I don't even like. I hate donuts, cornuts, stuff with fake peanut butter -- so I buy him all that stuff when I get food for the house... Then, he doesn't feel like it's all healthy, and I don't feel like I'm tempted. Note: I NEVER buy chocolate, because I loooooove it. :LOL

[chanibell]

My husband used to have 0% body fat....like 13 years ago in high school! He enjoys bringing that one up! Right now we probably weigh the same,except his weight is muscle and mine is ...yup fat fat fat. I am exercising and eating a little better,but sometimes he temps me with pizza...evil man! I think our eating habits have improved greatly,however. I also found a work out partner and that helps alot.