Warm Winter Wishes and BFP's 40 ++ TTC - Page 6

[contactmaya]

I have always felt  this board to be a place of non judgment, where we can share the most intimate details with  people from all walks of life, who share one vital thing in common. 

Thankyou for your well wishes Halifax, they are very much appreciated. I also teared up reading your post, and cant imagine going through what you did. I am very sorry for you losses. In your situation, it seems like a no brainer to get those first trimester tests

I am very grateful each time i pass a new milestone in this pregnancy.  I just did well in my glucose tolerance test yay!

I am also aware that issues with the baby havent been ruled out definitively, so i  have researched it a bit. But i share the view with amommyttc that this baby is a miracle no matter what. I really appreciate hearing your views on that subject amommyttc, and am so sorry  for your loss.

I declined the tests, but it doesnt mean for a moment that i judge anyone who embraces them.

Shell77, i wouldnt be scared. Things like this happen in the minority of cases.

All i can say is, who knows what the future holds?

[amommyTTC]

Siddal, that does suck that you got a rash of on all places your face!! But I am hear to tell you I'm sure it was better than the full out pox!! Glad you got good information from your provider and were able to make a good decision for you. Hope the timing is right so you won't ahve to miss a cycle! 

I know that all of this is a personal decision, and a personal topic, I just think that having a different perspective and getting all the information is important as well.. 

Just as your friend is glad she didn't terminate but would have if she had known.. Sometimes those things we fear the most are the things that turn out to be the greatest blessings. 

[3surfboys]

Originally Posted by Kristin0105 

I appreciate that we all have very personal opinions and thoughts on this matter but I am really going to ask that we follow Litmama's suggestion that we not become divisive here. Perhaps the spirituality board would be a better place. These are very personal decisions that every woman and her partner need to decide on their own and that personal aspect needs to be respected. We do all try very hard to TTC and it's a very personal path we take to get here. I hope we all recognize that this is a safe place where everyone's choices are respected. 

Thanks Kristin!  I wholeheartedly agree.

I do want to respond the amommyTTC, because I believe my post about being "nervous" about the ultrasound triggered her question.  I found out I was pregnant at the end of October, just three months after having an unexpected pregnancy and miscarriage in July.  That was my first and only miscarriage.  The July pregnancy rocked my world ~ we were not planning to add to our family but once we accepted our path, to then have a miscarriage was heart-breaking and life-changing.  We then decided to try to have another baby.  I am truly trying to trust pregnancy
again after having three seemingly carefree pregnancies and blissful births of my first three children, while in my 30's.  So thus far, I've had a hard time fully accepting that my pregnancy will last, perhaps in a way to protect my heart or soften the blow of another miscarriage.  I spend a lot of time of the PAL board, so feeling anxious is quite a common emotion :)  I'm not nervous to find out I won't have a "perfect baby" - I'm nervous to find that there is no heartbeat and my baby has already died.  I don't know what my dh and I will decide when faced with the information of the nuchal screen.  But like others have said, it will be a personal decision that we will make together.

Peace to everyone. 

[music.mama.pdx]

I just had a chance to catch up on the posts and wanted to add my thoughts.

Although I have no exact proof, I was told by the RE, the perinatologist and the genetic counselor that they could not rule out the amnio as the cause of my son's death. I had an NT, it went well(he looked great) and I declined the blood work on the recommendation of genetic counselor. In my deep heart, my mama intuition, I absolutely KNEW my son was okay - the final results of the autopsy and amnio confirmed this.

I think it's a very personal decision - test, not test, what type, etc. I merely add my story because I want to point out that there is a very real risk to some of these. 

Every day I wish I had done something differently, it's a terrible sadness, even after all these months. His due date is coming up...

Thanks for listening. Love and positive thoughts to you all.

[amommyTTC]

Awww I'm sorry music mama, and also sorry 3 surf boys for your loss.. I have had many losses myself, my daughter madelynn being just one, along with 6 m/c's its been tough, but I am very blessed to have the children I have. 

Not sure if any of you have seen the news about another 40+ mom who lost her baby at 19 weeks, Michelle Duggar, although her choice to have children through God's will is sometimes controversial, I have to believe she is hurting just as much.. 

I will just end with saying, that life is not a guarantee, and healthy babies are great, but so are those that are blessings with their issues, my children are certainly not without issues, challenges and some delays, but each one offers me something different, and for that my life has been enriched because of it. 

What the video 180 days it's inpsiring

really take time to make such hard decisions as music mama said, sometimes you wish you had later. 

[WaturMama]

The goddess arrived!!! If I understand the package correctly (I'm a bit fuzzy-head with a cold today) she arrived from the Netherlands! I looked back at the list and she's been in California before, in fact just across the San Francisco Bay from me with Litmama. There are goodies in there that I will leave as surprises that have handwriting of some of you beloved women. I am teary in awe of having a earth-based connection with you anonymous awesome dear women. It has arrived at a great time. I have an appointment with an RE this week that I am hopeful about. I'm coming into my fertile period. And we are having an anniversary.

[miss_sonja]

Another month where I hoped is gone, with the two-day late arrival of AF. I felt so discouraged yesterday. All I can do is hope and keep trying.

On the testing topic, I personally have never had any beyond u/s and, should I be blessed enough to get pregnant now, I would not have any tests. The odds are higher of health problems, but I also know that I would not terminate, so the information would not change a decision. I think one should have the tests if the information will help one chose a path. There are real risks to amnio, and, if the information won't change your choice, I would think very hard about the risk.

Winter blessings to all!

[WaturMama]

Dratdratdratdratdrat. My new RE appointment for tomorrow got canceled. She has some emergency procedure she needs to do. There was no room in the schedule until next week, and my ds will be out of school, plus I probably will have ovulated already and I don't think I want u/s if there's a chance I might be pg (also it could end up being a waste of money). So I rescheduled for 3 weeks from now. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't even worry about the potential pregnancy. I have conceived so many times in the past few years--it is keeping that baby growing that is the problem. I have the instead cups to try this month. I don't know if that will make a difference, but maybe it will help a better sperm get to the egg. Ack. Anyway, it is what it is. I look forward to the day I look back and it all makes sense.

[Stevi]

WaturMama....   Ugh! I hate when that stuff happens. You would think when whre we are in our cycles makes such a huge difference that the doctors could maybe work a few hours overtime.

[alittlesandy]

I think the testing conversation is an interesting one. With my first pregnancy I was blissfully happy and confident and refused all testing. I knew I wouldn't terminate anyway, and DS was perfect in every way when he was born, as I knew he would be.

HOWEVER, all that changed after two losses, and the fact that I stopped trusting my body or my instincts. With this pregnancy I felt unhealthy, had cramps and spotting, and was sure there was something wrong. I had an NT scan and quad screen at twelve weeks, NOT because I planned to terminate, but because I wanted to know. I wanted information. While these tests can be misleading and bring with them false positives, I was thrilled that mine turned out great, with only a 1/400 chance of Downs, and no other problems evident.

I've now had a 20-week anatomy scan, and they are worried because the baby has a build-up of fluid on her kidneys. This often corrects itself, but if it doesn't there is a minor intervention that can be done at birth to prevent kidney damage (threading a catheter). They will do another scan at twenty-four weeks.

I think there are reasons for finding things out, without necessarily planning to terminate. There are a range of personal reasons for testing or not testing, and how people respond to different diagnosis, and I respect them all.

[Stevi]

My reasons for not testing are the risks involved with the testing. My only successes at conceiving both ended in miscarriages, and I refuse to do anything that would risk a similar outcome.

[alittlesandy]

Originally Posted by Stevi 

My reasons for not testing are the risks involved with the testing. My only successes at conceiving both ended in miscarriages, and I refuse to do anything that would risk a similar outcome.

I felt the same way, which is why I only consented to the NT scan and quad screen, but not amnio.

[gumblossom]

I haven't been here for a while. It's been a very busy time, I just had a big family Christmas (one week early) at my place, so have been very busy with that. I thought it might help me cope with the anniversary of my first loss, but I think the stress has made it worse. I have been very sad. I had honestly thought by now I would be pregnant again, and of course my other due date is only a month away. I know most of you understand the feeling of being "cheated", knowing you should be pregnant or celebrating baby's first christmas, but it isn't to be.

On top of that my last period was non-existent. I had a normal chart, ovulated, temperature rise for 13 days, then 2 days of cramps, but not a spot of blood. So I'm worried I have scarring from the D&C's. I have an appointment on the 12th Jan, but I still hope to be pregnant by then.

I also have the dialemma with my DH who really doesn't want to try gain, and if I get pregnant it will simply be pure luck because he is lazy about contraception, and also with the lack of periods, he thinks I'm not fertile. He doesn't understand my desire for a baby, nor the depth of loss I feel, when he barely even thinks about the losses we have had. It's sad, I feel like I'm the only one who remembers them, which somehow makes it worse.

Oh my, I really didn't intend to come on here and be so negative and sad. I'm sorry.

I meant to say that I'm sorry you weren't pregnant this time Watumama, and sorry about your RE appointment. I hope your RE can help you to stay pregnant.

I met a lady the other night at my husband's staff dinner - she is married to one of his collegues and they have 12 kids. Wow! She's an inspiration - so relaxed. We got talking and she told me she had her last baby when she was almost 44. But she had had two miscarriages before that baby, and she supplemented with progesterone for the next pregnancy. I'm going to ask my doctor to prescribe it, even though she(the doc) isn't very keen on prescribing it - she feels it wouldn't help many of the women who want it, but I don't see the  harm in trying it.

I've decided to take DHEA again. I'm taking 50 mg. I like the way I feel on it - I do feel more energetic. I'm still doing a primal/paleo style diet and feel very good on it too. I've lost a little weight, but the main thing is that I feel more energy and feel healthy on it - apart from the lack of periods, but I think that is not related.I've got acupuncture this week, hopefully she can help too.

I hope everyone is okay, that those little bean babies are sticking, and that pregnancies are going well, and that there's a truckload of BFP's for us all this Christmas.

[Jennifer5]

Just wanted to say hi.  I'm 44 and just found out we are pregnant with #6. 

[sherryvhkb]

Hi Jennifer- QUICK- breath on me!!!! Or something!!! I'm trying for #6. How old is your current brood? And how far along....and how did you do it??? :-)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

[lovestolearn]

Welcome & Congrats, Jennifer!

[gumblossom]

congratulations Jennifer. I, too, would like my 6th. I'm 45, and would love to  know how you did it, too!

[Shell77]

Hello everyone, I am feeling down and need to vent..... So I have stated before that I am 39 and I have 2 daughters... 19 and 11 and i have 2 angels in heaven.

So I never thought I would find love after my husband died of pancreatic disease but I DID and i am very happy with my wonderful Fiance, He loves my children and treats them better than I could ever imagine... he does not have any children of his own but he wants one :-) which is wonderful because so do I .......... So i had My IUD removed (and it was HORRIBLE) because they couldnt find it and had to go and do a sono to find it and dig it out with some horrible tool ! well ever since then my cycle has been very regular 25 day's i usually ovulate (according to my OPK) 5  day's after I finish AF then I have a 14 dau Luteal Phase ... I seem to have cramping and pain around ovulation... and my CM is very light so we use pre-seed.

well no luck and this month I have been sick with bronchitis :-( ..... So anyway, I was supposed to have AF on the 18th .... no cramping , no breast tenderness.. just basically nothing! I took a test Clear blue easy digital on the 19th and got a BFN :-( so I used the cheap dollar tree one this morning and still BFN .

I was all set this month to start using Soy Isoflavones... i have been reading about them and they are supposed to be the herbal form of Clomid... so I thought I would try (couldnt hurt right?)

your supposed to take 180 MG on CD 1 thru 5 , or CD 3 thru 7 , or CD 5 thru 11.... i figure with my short cycle I would try  CD 1 thru 5.

SO here is the question... could I be pregnant and still getting a BFN ? I do not feel pregnant, but then again i have been really sick with this horrible cough and sore throat... or could that be why i havent started yet? Ugh I never had had a hard time before getting PG I really hope that IUD did not mess me up :-( ..............

Thank you for letting me vent ... still wishing you all the best ! and congrats Jennifer :-) that always gives women like me hopeful

[Jennifer5]

Thanks Ladies.

I have 5 ages 17 to 2.5 3 boys and 2 girls.  Looks like I was precipitous in posting and it was a chemical pregnancy.

We as a family went gluten free this year and have moved towards a paleo lifestyle.  My husband and I did do the HCG diet this year and each lost 50 pounds and that seemed to help regulate my cycles moving ovulation dates to more normal patterns and lengthening my luteal phase. 

I wasn't planning on getting pregnant as we were hoping to work more on our health as a family and I think we will continue in that direction and see what the future brings.

I'd still like to hang out here though.

[amommyTTC]

Sorry for your loss Jennifer, I hope you continue on your quest for better health.. the HCG diet is really successful, a bit tough at first with the lack of carbs, but well worth it!