I haven't been here for a while. It's been a very busy time, I just had a big family Christmas (one week early) at my place, so have been very busy with that. I thought it might help me cope with the anniversary of my first loss, but I think the stress has made it worse. I have been very sad. I had honestly thought by now I would be pregnant again, and of course my other due date is only a month away. I know most of you understand the feeling of being "cheated", knowing you should be pregnant or celebrating baby's first christmas, but it isn't to be.
On top of that my last period was non-existent. I had a normal chart, ovulated, temperature rise for 13 days, then 2 days of cramps, but not a spot of blood. So I'm worried I have scarring from the D&C's. I have an appointment on the 12th Jan, but I still hope to be pregnant by then.
I also have the dialemma with my DH who really doesn't want to try gain, and if I get pregnant it will simply be pure luck because he is lazy about contraception, and also with the lack of periods, he thinks I'm not fertile. He doesn't understand my desire for a baby, nor the depth of loss I feel, when he barely even thinks about the losses we have had. It's sad, I feel like I'm the only one who remembers them, which somehow makes it worse.
Oh my, I really didn't intend to come on here and be so negative and sad. I'm sorry.
I meant to say that I'm sorry you weren't pregnant this time Watumama, and sorry about your RE appointment. I hope your RE can help you to stay pregnant.
I met a lady the other night at my husband's staff dinner - she is married to one of his collegues and they have 12 kids. Wow! She's an inspiration - so relaxed. We got talking and she told me she had her last baby when she was almost 44. But she had had two miscarriages before that baby, and she supplemented with progesterone for the next pregnancy. I'm going to ask my doctor to prescribe it, even though she(the doc) isn't very keen on prescribing it - she feels it wouldn't help many of the women who want it, but I don't see the harm in trying it.
I've decided to take DHEA again. I'm taking 50 mg. I like the way I feel on it - I do feel more energetic. I'm still doing a primal/paleo style diet and feel very good on it too. I've lost a little weight, but the main thing is that I feel more energy and feel healthy on it - apart from the lack of periods, but I think that is not related.I've got acupuncture this week, hopefully she can help too.
I hope everyone is okay, that those little bean babies are sticking, and that pregnancies are going well, and that there's a truckload of BFP's for us all this Christmas.