Warm Winter Wishes and BFP's 40 ++ TTC - Page 32

[skeemama]

Whisper my name with high hope and anticipation ladies.   

This has been such a long road and difficult journey.  

this is a BIG week.

Watermama, I have bumped into you many times here. (reading your posts)  Many blessings to you, my kindred spirit.  

Carmen, 

GumBlossom, take care of your DH, and yourself.

Thank you!

[BucketofStars]

Carmen-I am so sorry.



Thinking of you Skeemama.





AFM, AF is due anytime. I have a couple of tests with a shadow of a line and I'm spotting red blood. I'll take a test with FMU tomorrow. The other tests were not FMU. I have been through this five times now resulting in chemical pregnancies. I'm not holding my breath this time.

Eta- Af is here.
Edited by BucketofStars - 7/29/12 at 7:29pm

[WaturMama]

Hi Skeemama, that is neat to know we are following many of the same paths here. Thank you for the blessings. I did whisper your name with high hope and anticipation. What is happening this week? Did I miss something?

BucketofStars, I am so sorry. Sounds like a chemical pregnancy. It is wearing to keep getting hopes up and then have it not go that way. (((hug)))

[kfillmore]

Any one have ideas about this- for two cycles I have felt cramps from a few day after O until my period. Anyone know what this might mean?? I usually only have very slight cramping right before my Period.

oh and also came early, which for me was the 28th day.

thanks

Edited by kfillmore - 8/6/12 at 7:05pm

[jrabbit]

First of all - blessings to all of you who are experiencing such an emotional time of loss or joy.  

I had my easiest pregnancy at age 42.  My third daughter is a joy every day ... still nursing at 3.5 years old.  <3

but I continue to feel a sense of something "missing", and I am struggling with that.  I want another baby.  I  am turning 46 in  2 weeks, and I am in denial of my age for the first time in my life.  I desperately want another baby, and I have wanted this for certain since I was pregnant with #3.

But now, everytime I say something about wanting another baby, everyone around me rolls their eyes.  My husband humors me, but to be honest, I am pretty sure he doesn't want another ... or at least doesn't want the risk associated with going through another pregnancy, even though my last one was far easier than my first two (which weren't difficult).  

I just don't know if I am being selfish, not wanting to admit to being in the next stage of life, or if I really should do this.  (to make matters worse, I have always been a proponent of zero population growth, so I feel a little hypocritical about wanting another baby). (Adoption isn't an option for us, since we are currently living a nomadic life, traveling the US by RV.)

Sorry if I am posting this in the wrong place.

[gumblossom]

Jrabbit, I think this is the place to post, as some of us are the same"vintage" as you. I know what you mean about being in denial of your age, I'm feeling the same, mainly because the thought of losing fertility is too hard to contemplate.

I have 5 children, and had my last babe at almost 42. I wouldn't say it was easy, but it wasn't much different to previous pregnancies in my 20's and 30's.Since having my son, I too have felt there is meant to be another. I really have felt that our family would be complete if I had one last baby. But it hasn't happened, I've had three miscarriages (have been ttc for 2 and a half years)and I'm starting to accept that maybe I won't have "one last baby", that maybe I did that already.

However, I don't think you should lose hope, it is definitely possible to have a baby at 46 and even beyond, but I think it does require a certain amount of patience and an acceptance that it won't be easy, if we are to manage ttc without too much insanity, if you see what I mean.

I hope you can come to terms with what you decide to do, where is the harm in ttc? I suppose you have to decide what you would do if you had screening tests that showed the baby had a trisomy.Our risk is higher at this age, but it doesn't mean its a given.

I'm starting to believe that it will or won't happen, but I'll at least give my spirit baby a chance to come to us by doing what I can without being too obsessive about it.

All the best.

[skeemama]

Thanks for the energy ladies.

This has been a difficult month.  I really thought we were going to be a BFP.  It did seem like all the stars were in alignment...

alas, they were not.

The good news is my day 21 progesterone was the best its ever been!  All the other numbers look great.  The follicle this month was "adequate" from the right,

my left ovary looks a "little sad."  (It must know my real age!!)  Vintage is a lovely term!!!

Gearing up for some magic moments this cycle.  DH and I have talked a lot about trying all out until the end of the year, and then its time to be done.

Watermama, I have been a lurker on many of the same boards as you.  I feel a kindred spirit with you!!!!

Sticky baby dust all around!

[miss_sonja]

Carmen, I'm so sorry. 

Jrabbit, I totally understand the eye rolls. I got that reaction a lot when sounding out friends/family on the issue of having another. But now that I'm actually expecting, I am getting nothing but positive reactions, even from those who were critical of the idea of adding another. 

AFM, I'm 31 weeks now and all is well so far. It's harder to be pg at 44, but not actually that much harder than it was at 32 or 35. No complications, knock on wood, and I've gotten a lot of support from friends and family. Plus, the kids are both excited about a little sibling. I am still surprised every morning though, that it's really happening.

baby dust to everyone who wants it!

[Stevi]

I have an HSG scheduled for Friday. Does anyone have any stories/advice/etc??

[WaturMama]

I thought I'd stop by to say "hi." It is quiet here.

Stevi, I can't remember what an HSG is, so I probably didn't have one.

miss_sonja, it is awesome that you are 31 weeks.

Hi Skeemama! I like that I have a kindred spirit in you. Great news about your progesterone. Those follicles just need to produce one good egg! So "adequate" sounds fine, I'm thinking.

We are laying low on ttc, but I wanted especially to stop by today to acknowledge that this was the EDD of my second pg (the first m/c). This EDD in 2007 was a full moon, just the age spacing I wanted, just the astrology, and mostly importantly I had an amazing sense of connection with a baby spirit. I marvel at how different my life would be if I had a 5 year-old now. I know I'd cherish her or him, and I do cherish the childhood my ds has had, and this is how it is. A candle for baby spirit: 

[Stevi]

LOL The HSG is the hysterosalpingography test. It is where they shoot that dye through your fallopian tubes to see if they are blocked, and they also look at your uterus for abnormalities.

[amommyTTC]

Gumblossom- so sorry you had all that limbo then eventually had a loss, We can do this! prayers for you

Waturmama, so sorry for you as well, what a roller coaster

Welcome to all the new ladies.! 

congrats to 3surf and halifax, so exciting to see healthy babies being born when all the experts frown on us! 

AFM 

I am so sorry for my absence, I took a bit of a break from TTC for a few different reasons, but then I noticed my cycles are so darn regular and my LP has regulated as well I really need to try why the time is still here. 

I am taking DHEA, fish oil and using OPK to track ovulation. 

Last month I got a pretty good line on an FRER, then my LP was a few days longer than usual so I am thinking it may have been a chem, but its ok, I keep plugging along! 

I am 6 DPO today, and ovulated on CD 17 which was a bit late but I chocked that up to the chem last cycle. 

I am glad to be back!

Hugs everyone, 

Christi

[skeemama]

[gumblossom]

HI everyone,

I've been keeping a low profile, trying to move on from ttc. After the last rollercoaster loss, I realise that I am tired of living my life in increments, and I feel discouraged - that it just isn't meant to be.

However, I haven't completely given up as I am in with a chance this month and I'm 9/10 dpo at the moment. I have had some symptoms, but I know that can be misleading.

It will be my last month ttc, as we have an overseas holiday planned for July next year, and I can't have a newborn, or be heavily pregnant for that. Last time we had an overseas trip planned and booked I was 7 months pregnant with my son and couldn't go, so the family went without me( we couldn't change it). It was a miserable two weeks for me, and I don't want that to happen again. I know my cycle well enough to avoid fertile time. Once the time that affects our holiday is up, I don't know if I'll go back to ttc.I'll reassess after my 46th birthday in November.

I actually feel more ready than ever to leave ttc behind and move on. I never thought I'd get to this point, especially after the losses - I thought the only way back to happiness was through having a baby. Time has helped me feel better and to realise that the next phase of life isn't so bad. My DS is now 4, so independent, and it does give my DH and I a new freedom, which we are enjoying.

But, as you know, I'd take a pregnancy and healthy baby in a heartbeat if it came my way

Waturmama, thinking of you, and sending love as you remember your spirit baby.

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by Stevi 

I have an HSG scheduled for Friday. Does anyone have any stories/advice/etc??

Popping in to share. I had an HSG and was terrified. But it was really nothing to worry about at all. I took a couple of advil about 30 minutes before and there was no pain at all during the procedure - a bit uncomfortable but it's very, very short. I had some cramping and spotting after, which is very normal and went away within a day. I have heard that if your tubes are indeed blocked there can be some pressure though - my tubes were clear so I didn't experience that. Good luck!

for waturmama

[WaturMama]

Thanks so much for the kind thoughts and upholding me remembering my spirit baby.

Stevi. No, I didn't have that one. How did it go?

Good to see you amommyttc and gumblossom. Gumblossom, I so connect to appreciating the freedom of not having small children and also knowing you would embrace one easily.

[Stevi]

Waturmama...   It hurt a little, but it was over quickly, so it's endurable. The doctor said my tubes are clear, so that's good news. I'm going to try and see my gyno next week in case there is anything else the scan can tell me.

Now I'm hoping for that heightened fertility the test is supposed to give me!

[skeemama]

Good vibes Stevi!!

I have had 4 friends get preggo just after that procedure!!
 

[jrabbit]

I just needed to express my feelings somewhere safe, so here i am again.  Seems like every day a friend is announcing she is pregnant.  :(  Several are in their late 30s and 40s, but i guess they are younger than me.  It doesn't help that i have the nagging voice inside of me that says "it is NOT smart to get pregnant.  All of my rv plans will go out the window because we can NOT add another person in our truck.  Sure there is room in the trailer, but not the truck, and I don't think there is a bigger truck we can get :( ... oh, and I almost forgot.  What if the baby isn't perfect?  How on earth will we deal with that?"  <<cry>>

I'm ovulating now, so that explains some of the emotions.  Plus, my 12 year old started her period 2 weeks ago.  YIKES.  

I just get sad thinking that my nursing days are numbered.  I want another baby so much, it hurts.

--janis

[jr'smom]

I've been reading and feeling for you ladies.  I'm not sure I fit in here quite yet...I'm almost 40 and definately have some of the same thoughts and feelings that you ladies do...but also would feel like I'm complaining to people who have more to comlain about. Not quite the words I'm looking for there, but I hope you get the idea with no offense.  I started having babies at 31 and have been blessed with 4 wonderful, beautiful children.  My baby is 16 months old and I hope she keeps nursing until she is 3 or so like most of my others.  We are TTC.  We're on our 6th cycle. I have a pretty typical 26-29 day cycle with a 14 day LP and am surprised I'm not pregnant yet.  I keep going back and forth about rather or not we should stop trying.  As I kiss my baby's feet while she's nursing, I keep thinking about how big they're getting and I don't want this to be over.  On the other hand, as hard as I've tried 4 times for a natural homebirth, I've ended up with 4 c-sections.  I know I would put myself through the turmoil of trying to find professional support for a natural birth again even though it's practically imposible where I live.  Am I missing a baby or am I missing a normal birth? Wy I can't I be hapy with what I've got (and I am!) and move on to the next phase of life?  We're having fun with our kids, traveling a lot and homeschooling them.  They are awesome!  Thanks for letting me ramble.  It helps to ge my thoughts out.  I'll pop in here occasionally...especially if we don't conceive soon.  39 has been a thought provoking year.

Good luck and blessings to all of you!