Gumblossom, that is really disappointing that you didn't get in to see your doctor! I can understand the 'wishing it was me' feeling-- I have a friend who just announced her pregnancy, baby #2, and I feel that way upon hearing her news. I mean, I've already got baby #2, but I want that third baby so badly. There is this really strong desire to have one more, and I felt it soon after DD was born. Not that it took away from my love and joy in having her, it's just that the feelings I have for her are so strong and wonderful it struck me how much I love being a mother and that there is this feeling like another baby is meant for us. The other day, I found myself thinking about when I would wait to announce baby #3-- the aforementioned friend had waited 6 months. I even find myself keeping all my baby clothes. DH is not as enthusiastic, though he is okay with the idea. I know that he is only 'okay' with it right now, because we've been through a lot with this pregnancy (complications with previa, fearing the c/s, antenatal anxiety and depression as a result of that) and it took our son about 4 months to settle in and adjust to not being the star of the show (there is only 22 months apart). It's been an exhausting few months, but things have settled down a lot (my little guy is rather spirited)-- DD is an absolute happy and mellow baby-- one of those 'easy' babies I only used to read about, ha ha. Anyway, if I'm blessed with another healthy pregnancy, I know he'd be happy. Worried, but happy. It was so hard on him seeing me go through what I did this last time.
About Clomid... Two weeks before I turned 40, I conceived DS on Clomid, with an IUI-- second try. We had done a fertility workup beforehand, and at that time my FSH level was 11. 3 months before turning 42, I conceived DD. We had another workup done shortly before then, because we were going to do IVF. My FSH was 6. I actually got my bfp while I was on a suppression drug. In recent weeks we've gone back to see our RE, to have a chat about trying for one more. A couple of things really stand out for me: One is that she told me that many women, upon nearing perimenopause, have a surge in fertility as nature's way of giving it another kick at the can type-of-thing. And the other is that in my case, she recommends the Clomid/IUI because it will give me a good shot at another pregnancy-- without the toll on my body from IVF drugs, and all the expense. Especially since the IVF success rates for women in my age bracket go down so much. Which is good news/bad news, I feel. It bothers me that I may not even be a good candidate at this point for IVF with my own eggs-- at least on paper. But then, if she thinks there is a good chance on the Clomid/IUI, I will take it. I have such a hard time with side effects on the Clomid...ugh. But, if it improves my chances... I asked about Femara instead (it seems to be used a lot in the States, and in Canada's city of Montreal), and while she was willing to prescribe that for me instead, she said it wasn't advised-- Clomid has been around 50 or 60 years, and it does something to help the outer shell of the egg be more receptive to the sperm (can't remember all the terminology she used). Also, Femara is being used off-label for fertility purposes, and with the Clomid I can take it if I'm breastfeeding about twice a day, if I should so choose. With my RE, I never did have any monitoring with the Clomid-- I just took the pills (100 mg) 5 nights in a row, starting on CD3, and used OPKs to determine when I was about to ovulate, then went in for a single IUI. I asked about monitoring with u/s, double IUIs, and a few more things. Glad I got more information about it, so I can go into it feeling as reassured as possible. But hopefully, I won't need to. :) Anyway, if you have any questions, just ask.
Do you have another appointment booked with your doctor?