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bras . . . . help! - Page 2

post #21 of 25

I think getting comfortable with bra shopping is a good idea. It's not something that needs to be embarrassing, and can be a really nice bonding experience for you and your daughter. Even if she doesn't yet need one, it can be a "let's just see what's out there that you might like" excursion. Pair it with lunch out.


The less of a "big deal" you make it, the more comfortable your daughter will be. Isn't that what it's all about? Making her comfortable in her own body, with her own sexuality, with her own womanhood? You're the best person to teach her that.


My daughter (nearly 18) and I still go bra shopping together. Do I like ALL of her choices? Nope. They're not to my taste. They don't have to be - they're to hers. She's a jock, so has a lot of (very bright LOL) sports bras, but also has a pretty good selection from Victoria & Aerie. Even if she's the only one to see them (besides me or her brother), they make her feel pretty. I like her feeling pretty.

post #22 of 25
Originally Posted by Cyllya View Post

I don't think a bra can sexualize its wearer. I mean, it's just a boob cover/support garment. We're all quick to say, "Breasts aren't sex objects!" any time we see some pervert equate breastfeeding to some kind of pedophilic foreplay, so I don't think it makes much sense to turn around and tell 10-year-old girls, "Your breasts are sex objects whether you like it or not, so you'd better avoid doing anything that might emphasize them--even at the cost of your own comfort."


If your own past/culture/upbringing/background/whatever causes you to be squicked out by the bras she wants, hand her some cash and wait in the parking lot until she buys them herself.


Even if they are actual "push-up" bras, I don't think anyone would notice the difference unless she's wearing a very low-cut shirt or it's a person who normally makes close observation of her breasts. I don't where bras, but I found push-up bras very comfortable when I did. The extra padding on the underside of the cup was nice when the bra starts to get looser over the day.... So anyway, even if your kid wears a lacy push-up bra, she doesn't suddenly become a slut.

I love this post.

OP, I like the idea of trying to find a nice lingerie store to measure and help pick out bras for your dd. you should call ahead and explain that you are looking for bras for a tween, and ask if they have some styles that may be comfortable for her. Helping her pick out bras that she likes and feels comfortable in would be fun I think. Especially if a salesperson is waiting in her, kind of like a neutral 3rd party.

Also, make sure you and her father are telling her she's beautiful on a regular basis. My dad told me that every day, and it really helped keep my self esteem intact during puberty and my horribly awkward teen years.
post #23 of 25
All 3 of my girls (aged 18, 13, and 9) wear bras. I get them from Macy's. My 18 yr old goes bra shopping with her friends of course and she gets the padded ones. I take my 13 and 9 yr old girls bra shopping though and while the 13 yr old is getting into the "lightly padded" bras, the 9 yr old is of course still sticking to the cotton training bras and the colorful sports bras.
post #24 of 25

We've run the whole gamut of the bandaid "bras" to ome push-ups for dress-up occasions. BEST thing I ever did was have her measured/fitted. Turned out she was wearing a size too small - he is SO much more comfortable with a properly sized bra.

post #25 of 25

My DD 11.5 has finally gone from breast buds to being an actual cup size, so I feel ya. She's also only 65 pounds so that makes things a lot harder. There are a couple of lines at Target that are not padded that work for her: Champion makes girl's sports bralettes that have shirring in the front so they're more like a bra and less like a sports bra, and then the "no-name" brand sells triangle bras that are an AA or A cup. She also gets them at JCPenney's, there's a line of similar elasticized bras with no padding. She hates shelf bras so the tank tops with built in bras are out. Lately, she's been wearing unlined tank tops under regular shirts and that helps her not have that conical look that developing breasts have. She is also similarly suddenly modest, she used to lay around on the couch in nothing but underwear but now she acts like she's running from a murderer on her way across the hall from her bathroom to her room ;) DD 14 did a little bit of that but got over it, so hopefully it's just a phase for both of them.

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