I'm ready to get off the floor now...

[cristeen]

We moved DS (26 mos) to his own (toddler) floor mattress back in September, still in the same room he's been sleeping in since he was about 9 mo.  I really want to get back into bed with my DH for a few months before this new baby arrives.  Instead I've been spending my nights on the floor next to DS' bed.  Some nights he'll go down at 8 and not wake until 4, and just need me those last few hours.  I can deal with that.  But then some nights he goes down at 8, wakes at 11 or 11:30, and every time I try to leave the room thinking he's asleep he'll start crying and get out of bed to follow me.  Out of desperation, trying to save my poor back, I started snuggling him on the couch after he woke up the first time, but that's creating it's own set of problems, and he's not sleeping any better. 

At this point, the last week or so, he's waking around 4, and is up for the day.  He'll toss and turn, and moan and grunt for hours (I won't get up until the heater kicks on at 6, so I don't let him out of bed either, especially since the first thing he wants to do is wake up daddy).  

I really don't know what to do about this - none of the books I've read have dealt with this level of clinginess, where I can't even leave the room once he's asleep, or the really early wakings.  And I'm at my wits end.  In the wee hours I'm not at my most patient, and I'm really starting to have a lot of anger around the constant wakings.  He's proven that he *can* sleep an 8 hour stretch, but doing it is very rare. 

Help me out here - what can I do to give myself a little space?  Daddy taking over night-time isn't an option except on the weekends, and even then involves lots of screaming that negates half the point (since I can hear it throughout the house, I'm not getting any sleep). 

And to give you the whole picture, he still takes an afternoon nap, usually around 1.  He was down to a max of 90 minutes, but the last few days it's been much longer (because he's getting less at night - it's a cycle).  Except yesterday his nap was super early in the day (around 10 am), and only about 30 minutes, and he was still up at 4ish this morning. 

Help me out here mamas - what can I do to change the status quo that is NOT working for me?  Books to read (Sear's sleep book and the NCSS neither one have been any help)?

[SweetSilver]

This is a suggestion I am not sure will be feasible at all for your family, but how about switching beds with your husband?  Sleep with your son in the big bed and put dh in your son's room.  

While it might not be the solution you would hope for, I have had some success in simply taking steps "backward" to deal with this clinginess (mainly in my older daughter--7yo--who has always wanted me in bed from the minute we lie down to the minute we get up-- Sigh!)  When she starts waking up and missing me I just go to sleep with them for a few nights and stay there.  Yes, it gets to the point where I lie awake in the wee hours, but I only need to do this for a few days.  Then she falls asleep better and stays there.  (I have never had trouble with middle of the night issues because we sleep together).  DH and I have our time in the evenings, even if it just means curling up on the couch to watch the tube.  

I know this suggestion might be a big leap, and require a very understanding dh.  But already you are not sleeping together, and the pregnant lady just cannot be sleeping on the floor!  Plus, nighttime parenting in bed with your toddler is soooo much easier.