Problems with my cat

[milomama]

My cat just peed on my son's bed and I need to vent a little, and figure out what to do.  This cat has been driving me crazy.  She started peeing on our beds recently, which is not okay!  She has been checked by a vet, and there is nothing medically wrong.  We have 3 litter boxes, for two cats, and try to keep them clean.

I can tell she is stressed though.  She doesn't get along with my 2-year-old.  He doesn't hurt her, but is enthusiastic and in her face.  She is desperate for more attention and is underfoot ALL DAY LONG.  She needs to be locked in the basement at night, or would sleep on our heads (she used to do this), but I hear her howling all night.  She would happily sit on my lap all day, but with a busy toddler, that isn't happening.  Even when I read to him, I try to accommodate the cat, but she ends up pushing the book closed and sitting on it, and other annoying things.  Recently I tried putting more effort into cat playtime and interaction, but it didn't seem to help.  I know there are behaviour modification techniques and training, but with a toddler and a baby coming in January (and being a tired mama) I can't commit to them.  The vet has mentioned kitty "prozac" but I can't afford to keep her on pricey medications right now.  

I'm basically annoyed by her all the time.  It's not a good way to be.  She's not happy, I'm not happy.  I'm considering giving her away, but that feels awful, since I always thought pets were for life.  Plus, who would take her?  What can I do???

[sandy'smama]

Just a quick reply. I had similar problem with one of our cats when my ds was 2 and dd about to be born and for a year tried different things: rescue remedy in the water, kitty prozac, more playtime, plug in feremones. The gorgeous cat in question was 10 when we got him and 13 when trouble saterted. All the mentioned things helped but not solved the problem. We did manage to find him a new home and I think it was for the best for all of us (I was really upset because he was "MY" cat :((( 

I could suggest washing the bedding (or anything else peed on) in diaper sterilising rinse/detergent so ALL traces of urine are removed and the bed does not smell like a toilet to the kitty (even if we do not smell it).

Is it possible to let the cat outside, instead of locking her in cellar, so she can get tired out - mine are out all day and sleep like logs at night

I have also heard that a box of crickets (one at the time!) can provide great stimulation for an indoor cat!

I hope you find a solution that is good for all of you - in the meantime I send you hugs((()))

[starrlamia]

I would keep up the effort of playtime and interaction, after your son is in bed make some time to let her in your lap etc. Also, is she able to get away from your son? does she have enough hiding spots so she can leave the situation when she gets overwhelmed? When you do have time for her can you take her outside on a harness and give her some stimulation?

I would try the rescue remedy and the feliway and see if that helps. I would also look into clicker training. Help make the basement a good thing for her, get her some good toys and scratching posts, give her some catnip and treats when you put her down there.

[Annalisa]

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry your cat is doing this.  My cats are also causing trouble, peeing on the playroom floor.  That is another story.  But I remember when my kids (now 5 and 7) were infants, and I had no time or energy for the cats at all.  I just didn't.  I would almost cry when I finally, finally got both kids to sleep and the cat wanted to sit in my lap.  I just needed a little space!  It was not a nice time for any of us.  Now we are through it, and it is a joy to watch the kids interact with the cats.  They have learned gentleness and kindness from taking care of the cats.  But you absolutely can't have cats peeing not in the box.  My only suggestion is that you hire a neighbor's child to come and play with the cat every day or several times a week.  I would think that you wouldn't have to pay very much.  It could be quite a young child, who would be very happy with a quarter for the work.  Get a laser pointer (as long as the child could be responsible) meant for cats, and a good brush.  Teach the child how to play with the cat nicely.  And when the child is older, you would already know if he/she would be a good babysitter!

I dunno, it could work.  :)  Good luck!  

Annalisa

[Caneel]

We had pee and poo problems for our female (health reasons) and I know how frustrating that can be.  Have you asked the vet about cost for kitty prozac or ativan? I remember when our cat was on ativan, it was like $3 for a bottle of 30 and the pills were split in half so it was like $1.50 per month.

Does your kitty have a place to be able to totally escape your toddler?  That may help.

[DoubleDouble]

For getting rid of urine smell, try "k.o.e. kennel odor eliminator".

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003OF6OPI/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=1278548962&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0009RS7DQ&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=10AD04JK7QTKDQJ1KKPE

I swear by that stuff, it's the best we've seen so far. it's the only thing that works 100%.

The worst test case scenario happened when my mom's male cat peed in her hallway and the pee ran under the linoleum and into the cement underneath. That smell made her eyes water. She poured some stronger K.O.E solution right onto the spot where the cat peed. She said the water followed the same path and went into the same crevices, and for a while the smell became stronger, as cement floor got wet, and then the smell suddenly just disappeared. I visited later and I couldn't smell it.

The concentrate is very strong, I use about half a teaspoon for a spray bottle. A few drops could go into laundry. Try it, it's a lifesaver!

[milomama]

Thank you for the replies.  The support means a lot to me, I feel so much guilt over the fact that I really don't like her right now.  

I booked an appointment with the vet to look into medications to possibly help her, and to see how much they cost.  I'm also going to try to "think like a cat" down in the basement and make it a happy place to be.  I have tried this before, but we'll see what else I can come up with.  Thank you!

[Caneel]

I have said this before on MDC - one of the dirty little secrets of parenthood that few admit to is that one simply doesn't have the time and energy to care for their pets like they did pre-child, there are only so many hours in a day and dollars in the paycheck.  I still love my animals but love and attention has shifted, as it should. 

I have a close friend who was insane for their dog.  It was so bad they wouldn't go on vacation because of doggy (no one could care for doggy like mommy and daddy) and really restricted their time outside of the house because of doggy  (doggy gets so lonely).  About two months after their son was born, she told me she was begging a family member to take doggy.  I was horrified and told her so.  Her response to me was "you'll see...."  and I did.

I hope you get good news and guidance at the vet.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by milomama 

My cat just peed on my son's bed and I need to vent a little, and figure out what to do.  This cat has been driving me crazy.  She started peeing on our beds recently, which is not okay!  She has been checked by a vet, and there is nothing medically wrong.  We have 3 litter boxes, for two cats, and try to keep them clean.

I can tell she is stressed though.  She doesn't get along with my 2-year-old.  He doesn't hurt her, but is enthusiastic and in her face.  She is desperate for more attention and is underfoot ALL DAY LONG.  She needs to be locked in the basement at night, or would sleep on our heads (she used to do this), but I hear her howling all night.  She would happily sit on my lap all day, but with a busy toddler, that isn't happening.  Even when I read to him, I try to accommodate the cat, but she ends up pushing the book closed and sitting on it, and other annoying things.  Recently I tried putting more effort into cat playtime and interaction, but it didn't seem to help.  I know there are behaviour modification techniques and training, but with a toddler and a baby coming in January (and being a tired mama) I can't commit to them.  The vet has mentioned kitty "prozac" but I can't afford to keep her on pricey medications right now.  

I'm basically annoyed by her all the time.  It's not a good way to be.  She's not happy, I'm not happy.  I'm considering giving her away, but that feels awful, since I always thought pets were for life.  Plus, who would take her?  What can I do???

Does the cat run away when the 2yo gets in her face?  Teach him not to follow her - it takes some time, but does work eventually.  And, if she is really underfoot all day long, that might just be the way she is.  My mom's cat is like this and always has been, even though he gets TONS of attention - he just likes to be around people. (the way he acts you would think he was totally neglected and never got a speck of attention - couldn't be further from the truth, he's spoiled rotten and gets way more attention than any other cat I've ever seen)

If you used to let the cat sleep on your head, why don't you still?  Why not try to teach her to sleep somewhere else on the bed, rather than locking her in the basement?  That doesn't sound very nice.

Why not start asking around to see if anyone will take her?  Talk to the vet, and tell that you would give her to a good home - he might know someone looking for a good kitty. It doesn't sound like the peeing problems are too terrible - just attention seeking behavior (and if you can't get the pee smell all the way out, they will just keep going there - we had that problem with an elderly cat once and it took pulling up the carpet, the wood under it, and replacing the flooring with hardwood to get the cat to stop peeing there.  the flooring was going to be replaced anyway, but it sped up the plans a bit!).

[DoubleDouble]

Yeah, the underfoot all day thing is what cats do. That's their job, seriously. Dogs bark; cats sit on your book, walk before you on the stairs, lie in the kitchen doorway.

[womenswisdom]

Maybe you've already done this, but I just wanted to suggest a urinalysis and a basic blood panel. I've worked in the veterinary field for 15 years (ten in a cat-only hospital) and the majority of the cases of inappropriate elimination I've seen have medical roots. Yes, there are behavior-only issues but trying to address a medical problem with behavioral techniques will not be successful, so it's good to rule those out.

[DoubleDouble]

I hesitated to suggest kidney problems, but two of our cats that peed in wrong places were those who eventually got diagnosed with Feline Chronic Renal Failure. That behavior started way before the problem became obvious and diagnosable. With one if might have been a coincidence - he wasn't neutered and males mark their territory, but still. Maybe keep an eye on her and check once in a while for kidney function.

http://www.felinecrf.com/