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Chat Thread: 11/13-11/19 - Page 2

post #21 of 51
Thread Starter 

If ex actually had an interest in ds, I wouldn't be so pissed off about him exercising his right to decide what therapy ds gets. But ex has NO interest at all. DS had his 3 year evaluation at school (children who are classified as special needs have to get a full evaluation every 3 years in the school district to see what progress they have made and to re-determine if they qualify for the special education program). So they just did the evaluation and we had a meeting Monday at school to discuss the results of it, determine if he was still eligible for special education and write his IEP for the next year (which determines what special services he will receive). I informed my ex of when this meeting would be so he could call into the school and participate by phone.... he chose not to. He hasn't (and won't) contacted me to see what the results are. He has NO IDEA what is written in ds's IEP. He has no idea what the evaluation showed. The 3 year evaluation is HUGELY important, the IEP is not far behind in terms of importance. And ex has no interest in these. But yet he thinks he should have a right to decide what therapy ds gets, when he has NO knowledge of ds? WTF?! (He spends 8 hours a month with ds (2 days for 4 hours each day), that's it and that's only been happening for the last 6 months).

post #22 of 51
Steph, while I can't help with the dirtbag ex or the mold problems, I am newly knowledgable about insurance issues. We make too much money for Medicaid, but each state has a disability based Medicaid program that is NOT income based. Corbin qualifies, so whatever our insurance doesnt cover, the state program (TEFRA) will.

You're so on top of everything that I'm sure you know this already (and maybe your DS doesn't qualify?) but I'm throwing it out there just in case. I was super stoked to find out about it and a bunch of other "bonus" features of the program (like them paying for diapers if Corbin isn't potty trained at 3 years old). They told me that if the state looks at your IFSP/IEP and says he's not disabled enough to qualify, you can request super expensive neurodevelopmental evals and the state will pay.
post #23 of 51

Oh Steph! That sounds horrible. I can't imagine the stress this is causing you.


Maeve let me sleep a solid 5 hours last night! Love it! Then the AM around 6 my oldest woke up and was really fussy. I was trying to calm her down but her crying woke the baby. DH did not respond well to this and totally started yelling at my oldest to be quiet and go back to sleep. This of course set her off even more! So I have 2 crying babies and my DH being an ass all before 7am. Great! He left for work early and didn't even say goodbye to any of us. Sometimes I just want to smack him! I really thought that the transition of having a new baby would be hardest on dd- nope, it's my DH. I always have thought I'd like 3 kids but I don't know if my marriage can handle it.


Wow, sorry to vent so much... I'm obviously still feeling pretty pissed off at him.


My 6 week appt is on Friday. I'm going to bring Maeve so I can weigh her. She hasn't been weighed since she was 12 days old. I'm so curious!

post #24 of 51

Ahhhhhhhh, I finally have a minute to get on here and post! I've been reading along while nursing (thanks to the lovely Ipad my employers got me as a new mama gift) but haven't had my hands free to type in days.


What a lot of work being a mama is!! Seriously. It is so demanding. In every way. My mom left to go home to Seattle a few hours ago. I'm sad. She was a huge help with things. I'm a little nervous about doing everything on my own. DP will be over later, and I'm glad he is coming over just about every day, but he is scared to death of Landon, so not much help when it comes to Landon.


Landon seems to be doing better with breastfeeding. I seem to have more milk then I did, but still not a lot. He is down to getting just one 2 oz bottle a night.


Current issue I'm worried about, he hasn't pooped in 4 days greensad.gif My pediatrician isn't worried about it, but I sort of am. He has had the worst smelling gas all day today. Poor guy. I don't know what to do to help him out. Prior to 4 days ago he was pooping 3-4 times a day. He doesn't seem to be uncomfortable, just smelly.


I think one of my biggest struggles I'm having right now is my lack of "me" time. When I do have a free moment I never know how long he is going to stay asleep, and don't know what to do first. Eat, sleep, clean/organize the super messy bedroom (that is driving me insane!!!) shower, or just relax.


Well, someone is up and screaming.....off I go.

post #25 of 51

Chelsea, not pooping in 4 days is fine. They can go a really long time! But just be prepared for the blowout when it does happen. My girl goes about every time she eats, and that is another thing entirely. I kind of wish I had a fortnighter!


I hate this day. Finally, my 3 year old is being great, but Iona is driving me up a wall. She was awake and crying most of the afternoon. She has gas, but I don't know what causes it. I just want to scream. She will finally fall asleep, but then wake up in 10 minutes. Hopefully, she'll stay asleep for a while now. I don't want to see her for another hour at least. greensad.gif


ETA: Also, I'm apparently such a glutton that I can't stick to my elimination diet. So probably doing myself in by way of dairy and chocolate.

Edited by RosemaryS-F - 11/16/11 at 1:43pm
post #26 of 51

So Eli passed his hearing screen just fine. I didn't do so well with it, though. DH went with me, but they wouldn't let him come back into the exam room. There was plenty of room, I don't get why... oh well. They told me it was going to me "earbuds"... It was these two stick-on plastic earphones with wires connected, and three monitors that had to stick on his forehead, his neck, and his chest with wires running out of all of them. He was so wired up to everything, and I had to lay him in the hospital nursery cart thing. One of the wires was laying over his face. The nurse kept telling me I could "have a seat" but I didn't want to sit in the chair across the room from him... Ugh. Not a fun experience for mama. It felt silly being so freaked out by something so routine but that's just being a mom, I guess.

post #27 of 51

just popping in to say hi

not pooping in 4 days- for a breastfed baby- not a big deal. Just when he does poop, WATCH OUT

Chelsea- I totally hear you on the "me time" issue. That was very hard for me with my first. Now I am more used to it, also, I have learned to take something more like "me moments"  I guess... when I can get them.


I am feeling pretty good. Still have a nasty cold that I can't shake and have had since a week or so before baby was born. UGH! SERIOUSLY! DH is working 7a-7p every day right now so thats a bummer. My 2.5yo DD has been the hardest to deal with lately, baby is pretty easy so far. She is not yet 3 weeks though!


Going to maybe let DS (just turned 7) try and give a bottle (pumped milk) to baby during bedtime tonight. He likes to have baby come lie in bed with him for a while, and he is very interested in caring for her. And I hope it lets me nurse the toddler and read to him all at once, and keeps her happy for a little while. Phew. Can't wait for DH to go back to regular hours, where he is home around 5. I have been handling bedtime alone every few days and that is a marathon. 3 kids and one tiiiiiiired mama.  I just try to outlast them, and eventually they do all go to sleep.


ALRIGHT dinnertime, gotta run.


post #28 of 51

I can't wait for bf poops to start spacing out.  I don't like this multiple times a day business!  One of my older kids once went 17 days without pooping - he was never constipated or uncomfortable, things were just being used that efficiently by his body!  (But yes, be prepared for a blowout!)


Rosemary, I understand where you're coming from.  We've had a number of days like that over here, too.  For whatever reason, keeping Malcolm in the sling up against my chest on days like that really helps him sleep better... but by the end of the day I'm still exhausted and haven't gotten much of anything done.  H\


Trinket, I can't understand why they wouldn't let you be present for the hearing test.  I've only ever had them done when I had a baby in the hospital (my first 2), but they always let me come into the nursery, even, to be present when they did the test.  How frustrating.  I wouldn't like that one bit!


Emmaegbert, wow.  My DH works 12hr shifts, but only for half the week.  Every day would have me panicking!  I'm surprised that it sounds like you're handling it so nicely.  I like your idea for bottle given by your DS.  Sounds so sweet!  Honestly, I'm the sole person in charge of bedtime for 4 or 5 nights every single week, and it's my biggest weakness.  I loose my cool almost every time over the stupidest things.  I wish DH could be home every night for bedtime... it would sure make me feel like a less crappy mom.  But putting 3 kids to bed while juggling a newborn is far from the easiest thing in the world, despite having waaaaaay simplified our bedtime process.


AFM, had my 6wk PP checkup with my midwife today.  Well, 6wk + 6days, so almost 7, really.  I was a little surprised (both good and bad) that she didn't do any sort of perineum check.  The only time they ever checked me was the day I gave birth.  I don't feel like I *need* to be checked, but I went expecting it would happen.  Also pleasantly surprised that she gave me a complete copy, all bundled together, of my records.  Took me 4 births, but I finally have a copy of my records from one of them, lol!  It was interesting to read through them when I got home.  I liked that they kept a little timeline of my birth, including what I was doing when they first arrived, and when 3yo DS came in to see the baby and what he said, and what I ate at what time.  Length of labor on their chart:  1st stage 11:30pm-2am (2h 30 min), 2nd stage 2am-2:11am (11min), 3rd stage (placenta) 2:11am-2:49am (38min).  Sheesh, write it down like that and it looks lightning fast!  My piddly contractions from the time my water broke at 1am the night before until things picked up for real at 11:30pm was recorded as a latent phase and not counted for active labor.  Anyway, we weighed Malcolm, who, at just before 7 weeks, is up to 12lb 10oz (from 8lb 6oz).  She calculated that he basically gained just over 2oz every day from his last weight check (2 weeks) until now, when they typically want to see 0.75-1oz per day.  Way to eat, Malcolm!!  Didn't check length at all.  My weight is 202, which I was happy to see.  I was thinking my lack of any PP exercise + the evils of Halloween candy (and indulging too much in just about everything else) were making me start to gain weight again, but I've managed to go down 4lb in 5 weeks.

post #29 of 51

bottle from brother went great! (I posted a picture in the baby pics thread). I lost my cool only once during solo bedtime last night which is pretty good for me. DH will be off this schedule soon, thank goodness. It makes a HUGE difference having another adult around at that witching hour. Though I have to watch out- he is pretty grumpy then too!


I am so darn tired and this baby is really a good sleeper for a newborn... kudos to those of you functioning on so much less sleep. Don't know how you do it!!


My older 2 and their regressions are driving me slightly nuts. My 7yo peed in his bed last night. (Yes, the same one who is grown-up enough to give baby her first bottle!) He hasn't done that in forever. I feel like I am just surrounded in pee-soaked textiles... literally surrounded at all times by them... blah. I know it will eventually stop.

post #30 of 51

Reading these posts about feeding babies just caused me to have a let down.  (and Annika is due to nurse, too)


Getting ready to head out for her 1 month ped appt.  More later.

post #31 of 51

wow, emma, I don't know how you do it putting 3 to bed plus yourself. I know for me getting ready is not two second affair these days, either.


eta: leiahs, cool about getting your records!


trinket--sorry you had a rough time at the screening.


white noise: this is music to iona's ears. i turn it on and she stops crying instantly. so i bought it... but from itunes.


Edited by RosemaryS-F - 11/17/11 at 8:06am
post #32 of 51


Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F View Post


white noise: this is music to iona's ears. i turn it on and she stops crying instantly. so i bought it... but from itunes.


DS was always soothed by the soft dulcet sounds of the vacuum cleaner.  Or really loud radio static.  Or mommy trying to imitate a very loud vacuum cleaner (which can make your throat dry and a bit sore after a while).  He still sleeps with white noise (fan or humidifier).  We use a fan in our room, too.  Good for kinda drowning out meowing cat noises, and I think DD like it, too.


Ped visit good.  Annika weighed in at 10.5 lbs (birth 9 lbs 2 oz, lowest weight 8 lbs 10 oz).  I will now stop obsessing over whether nursing only 8 times a day is not enough.  Ped also says she doubts the pulmonologist will find anything wrong...and that Annika's resp rate may just be what's normal for her.  Which is what I was saying in the beginning.  But all the medical people were saying, "She's trying to tell us something isn't right!"  Whatever.


post #33 of 51

Hi all ... reading along but haven't posted here yet. H is up to 11 pounds! We had our 6 week Farewell Midwife appointment yesterday and the midwife figures that I could stop supplementing if I want!  H has been gaining 40 grams a day, and they're happy with half that, so yay for more milk this time! This after supplementing my older child for a year!  I don't know if I'll stop but I am trying a day off today to see how H reacts.  So far so good! 

post #34 of 51

that's exciting, starling!

post #35 of 51
Yay Starling!
post #36 of 51

yay starling!!!


post #37 of 51

Starling! That is fantastic news!! Go boobies go! And 11 pounds?! Way to gain little buddy.

post #38 of 51

Ahhhhhhhh!! This is the third time I've written a post here and it somehow keeps getting erased!!!! So annoying.


Landon had his 2 week Dr appt today. Weighs 7 lbs 13 oz. Last Thursday he was 7 lbs 6 oz. Of course he hasn't pooped in about 6 days.....so there must be a lot of poop up in there. I just hope he is gaining what he needs to gain. With my breastfeeding issues I worry about him getting all that he needs to eat.


Somewhere there was talk about waking up worrying that we haven't heard from our babies in a few hours......and to solve that for myself we bought the AngelCare monitor that sounds an alarm when he doesn't move for more than 20 seconds. Gives me so much peace of mind. Otherwise I know that I would be thinking about him all night long. We don't co-sleep, he is in a crib in our room though.


I will have to write more tomorrow. I'm so tired, and don't feel like writing up all that I had written up twice already.

post #39 of 51

Our first snow!!! It is almost 730am and my 4 & 2 yr olds are outside in their snowsuits cold.gif

post #40 of 51

Chelsea, I'm glad you've found some peace of mind. I'm freakish about startling the baby when she's asleep if I don't hear the breaths. I was like that with ds also. I wish that I was a more relaxed mother.


Lost it last night. Lost.it. DD was crying so loudly and I was taking it so personally. I just lost it weeping and dh came and got her and of course, she fell right asleep for him. I pulled the covers over my head and cried and cried. My nerves are shot. I'd swim in the ocean with sharks today if it meant that she wouldn't scream that way any more. She's hurting, clearly, and I think it is a waiting game as it was with ds because he outgrew that screaming thing after 6 weeks. Still screamed but less frequently, and started showing other more pleasant signs of being a human baby and not a tortured porpoise.

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