Winter IVF Thread : Bring on the BFPs! - Page 63

[auraleigh]

Hi ladies,

sounds like everyone is really progressing!  rcr, i'm still thinking good thoughts for you, you never know.  and blue and saphrons, i can't wait to hear about your imminent bfps!

afm, i'm out of the game for a bit.  instead of letting my clinic take another random crack at me, i have decided to schedule a consult with the SIRM office in nyc.  they can't see me until May 8th, but I guess it will be a good time for me to cleanse my body of all these hormones and get back to its own regular cycle.  It also gives me more time to lose weight.  I've been stuck at the 20lb loss for weeks now, which isn't terrible since i'm not regaining, but i'd like to drop more.  i went jogging yesterday and hopefully i can keep up the exercise.

has anyone else gone to a SIRM or dealt with their drs?  Dr Tortoriello, who I am seeing, specializes in PCOS and also women that are overweight, so I am really hoping he'll be able to figure out my issues and put me on a protocol that works.  It does push out my next attempt though.  Instead of six weeks from now, it's going to be months away.  i'm impatient, and don't want to wait, but in my gut i feel like this is the right decision.  my insurance will probably only cover one more try, so i might as well have it done at a place that specializes in what i'm dealing with.  

interestingly enough, a phone consult is $250 but an in person consult is $388.  do i get a massage while we talk?  why would it be more expensive? is one better than the other? 

also, for all of you ladies that have ever switched clinics, what's the best way to request records from your old dr?  i feel really guilty about leaving my clinic.  i don't know why, as i have given them 9 months of my life and walk away empty handed.  but they have always been nice to me.  i just don't think they know how to treat me.  i need to get my records (and i'd like to actually take a look at them myself) but don't know how to go about doing it.  i feel like i'm cheating on them.  i have issues.

[blueyezz4]

Aura - MOMTOALEXIS went to him and I think she loved him & she got pregnant w/ her twins w/ him (well not with him, but you know what i mean - LOL).  She tried to talk me into doing a consult w/ him, but instead i did the free consult w/ Dr. S in Vegas instead.  Wonder why it wouldn't be free?  That is kinda weird.  I wonder if it is b/c you were calling to actually scheduled an appt.  I was only calling to just schedule a free phone consultation.  I'm the same way where I feel bad about leaving drs. I felt bad just having my records sent over for a 2nd opinion and I wasn't even moving offices.  I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'd just tell them that you feel  you want to get a 2nd opinion b/c you can't keep getting BFN's.  They may not even ask actually.  When i called to have my records sent i was nervous and they were fine about it.  I think it happens all the time and it is a normal thing.  Glad you are going to try something different.  Could you get put on the cancellation list?

rcr - it is still really early.  Fingers still crossed for you!!

Tear - thanks!  Good seeing you.  Loved reading you little update on the grad side and glad things seem to be going well.

Renavoo - I'm fine.  Actually had a normal day today.  Yesterday i kinda laid low too so today was back to the grind except no work until Thurs so it will be a nice little break that i really need b/c work has been crazy busy.  Feeling a little crampy and nauseous at times but probably the progesterone/estrace mix oh and the prednisone too.  Not much else here.  Took Abby over to a friends house that may watch her for us at some point so she could meet their dog and that went pretty well but their puppy was a little rougher than I would like so now i'm a little nervous for Abby but i'm sure she will be fine.  She went for a little swim too in the little creek by their house it was pretty funny.  She was just wading in the water and then it just dropped off and next thing you know she was under and doing the doggie paddle. I was laughing so hard.  She loves the water but i think it snuck up on her fast.  She got out and ran to me and got my jeans all wet and now i feel like i smell like wet dog or something and for some reason w/ all the hormones in my system the smell is bothering me so i should be doing a load of laundry but instead i'm typing on MDC.  LOL.

Hope - so did you used to live in IN?  Your profile below your pic says IN so that is where I thought you were from initially.  I'll send you a PM and we will have to compare notes.  I bet we have passed each other in the waiting room in Downtown CLE!!!  Small world!!!

???/AFM -  When you were cycling or in your TWW did smells kinda bother you?????????  I'm sure it is just all the hormones in my body right now, but smells are driving me nuts.  So super sensitive!!!!!  On another note... i'm loving how light it is outside at 7pm w/ this change in time.  So rough getting used to it especially first thing in the morning and not being as tired at night b/c you feel like you are going to bed an hr early but I'll take it. I guess i can't change into my PJs first thing any more when i get home from work each night since it will now be light out.

[auraleigh]

blue, momtoalexis actually was the one who tipped me towards dr t!  the more i read up on him, the more i like him.  i feel like since PCOS is his specialty, he will know better how to treat me.  i was going to request a free phone consult with dr sher, but i figure since dr t is in the ny office it would be great to actually work with him for the ivf if i go this route.  i don't know why they charge so much, or why it's different pricing for phone vs in person, but if it gets me a baby, then i'll pay it!  

[gellybeangrl]

Aura~ I don't know why your first consultation costs so much. My first consultation with a Dr. from SIRM was free...and we went in person. Maybe you should call back and request a free consultation...would they not let you see Dr. T for that? As far as getting the medical records...I found that some clinics will charge you to get your own records, but they generally have a form that you fill out to request your records be sent to another clinic. Good luck...I hate switching RE's but sometimes you have to make a move if you are not getting the results that you want.

AFM~

Nothing much going on here...my u/s was moved from 3/23 to 3/22 so let's hope that my transfer is still on 3/28...but my E2 levels will determine that I think.

[rcr]

Hi all: I am having a little pity party here so please skip this post if you are trying to avoid that kind of attitude.  I have been trying to not slip back into a dark place over TTC again. I was doing really well for a while, but I feel myself more and more being negative about it and feeling sad most of the time. I guess it comes and goes. I will be 38 in a few weeks, and I feel like I am loosing the battle against time (with my own eggs, at least).  I have been lapped sometimes by three by the ladies from MDC who were on the One thread and the nursing mamas thread back when I was starting TTC after DS was born. All of the ladies from the BSL have either gotten pregnant or moved on by now, and even the BSL thread is gone. Now I may someday be lapped by some IVF grads, who are thinking about having another child(ren). Not that I am upset that people have babies (I am especially happy for people who had a rough time of it), but it makes me feel so left behind. If I thought I could find any peace with just giving up I would, but I think that giving up would be harder than pressing on. DH and I kinda agreed that if my 36th bday passed and we were not pregnant, we would pursue adoption. Then that came and went and also my 37th bday, but we got fertility insurance coverage, so it made sense to keep TTC instead of adoption  because we got free IVF and IUIs (well, not really free, but it is something we can afford). Now I am regretting not pursuing adoption because it takes so long and I would be so much closer now if we had started the process earlier. I don't know how we could afford it, but if we started saving our $ three years ago we would at least be closer than we are now. Even free IVF and IUIs are useless unless they can get me pregnant. I feel like my 30s have slipped away and I spent so much time TTCing, I missed out. It is just not fair.

Sorry no personals. I will come back with a better attitude. My sadness is usually passing.

ETA - One more thing - I was laying awake this morning thinking about if it actually works and I do have another baby, how weird it will be again to change diapers, have sleepless nights, etc. It feels like it was so long ago that DS was a little baby, and I kinda forgot how it all works. We have saved everything from him - baby clothes, swings, etc, and our attic is quite full (DH gets annoyed every time he has to go up there to find something), because, why buy it all again if we already have it.

[rcr]

BTW - anybody want to start a spring thread? The flowers are all blooming here.

[hope4light]

aura - I'm sorry that it means you'll be out for a bit, but I can tell that you feel you've made the right decision, and THAT is what really matters.  Moving on when it's time, even if there are no hard feelings towards the current RE, will make things better for you and the whole process.  I'm hoping that he is really, truely, the answer to your prayers!!!  I just talked about records on the ONE thread FWIW.  I didn't actually transfer mine because they cost so much to do so. 

blue - too funny, I am from NW Ohio originally, then moved to IN for a couple of years, then to NE OH just recently.  I guess I should update that in my profile LOL.  We may have passed each other LOL!  I actually work downtown too!

Hmmm.... smells bothering you?  Maybe it's a BFP lurking!  When I was pg with my DD smells were awful to me.  I love coffee, but throughout my WHOLE pregnancy I couldn't stand the smell, it was so strong it made my stomach churn and made me want to puke!!

gelly - Too exciting!!!

rcr - Oh honey, I'm so sorry.  I know how rough this must be for you.  It's so hard, and SO NOT FAIR.  Sometimes I think we have to allow ourselves some time in that dark place.  I know it sounds strange, but I think that being there is the only thing that allows us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and keep going.  Take some time for yourself, doing something nice for yourself.  You deserve it, especially after all that you've been through.  Remember not to regret ~ you'll just beat yourself up, and when you look back in 3, or 4, or 5 years it will all make sense as to why you continued on this path versus the path of adoption.  But do what's right for you, you know when it's time to make the choice to take a break, or start down a different path.  Hang in there, I'm so sorry that it's so rough right now!!! 
 

AFM - First counseling appt tonight.  Monday I'll get my LH checked to verify if I ovulated and then, hopefully, start Lupron that night!! 

[saphrons]

Aura - You should never hesitate to go with your gut and go elsewhere. Good for you for making that decision.

Blue - How are you doing??

I got a call this morning that 10 embies are still growing so they are pushing my transfer out to Thursday. I didn't get to the phone in time so the nurse left me a message which really sucks because I wanted a detailed update on my embies. She did say in her voicemail that there are multiple that are 8 cells, and some that are 7 & 6. I want the breakdown damn it! Anyway, they are calling me back this afternoon with a time for my ET on Thursday so I'll make sure to ask then.

[auraleigh]

rcr- it's good to get it out, and what better place to vent.  i'm sorry you feel pain, but i don't blame you for wanting to try again.  my friends are asking if i'll adopt, but i feel like i'll regret it forever if i don't at least give this everything i have to have a child of my own.  the same way you hurt to see past mdc'rs lapping you, i feel pain that so many women here already have kids and are trying for a second.  you're luckier than some of us in that regard!  but we each have the hurt we have, and we are all justified in having it. just know that you're not in it alone, and that you are entitled to a pity party now and then. 

[blueyezz4]

rcr - Sending lots of 's your way!!!!  I know it is hard and everything you are feeling is totally normal.  I'm there w/ you and I know it isn't easy, but try not to lose the faith my friend.  I always try to tell myself what is ment to be will be and even though things are totally not fair in IF there just has to be a reason for all of it... not that we may ever know what that reason is, unfortunately.   I know my words may not make you feel any better, but I hope that you can look at your DS and cherish him even more b/c you are so lucky to have him in your life.  When I'm feeling down and out i always think about other people that have so much less than I do and try to always count my blessing that I do have.  I have my health (even w/ IF, no cancer or awful diseases, all of my limbs work and what not), I have my DH and my family, a roof over my head and a puppy dog that loves me.  That is what I do when I'm feeling down and out about not having any children or being able to get pregnant.  I hope that your day got better and that tomorrow is even a better/brighter day.  Maybe you would be better off getting a 2nd opinion as well from a different RE since the same thing seems to keep happening to you.  I know I always feel better when i have a plan in order and I feel like I can trust my RE and his/her plan.  You, I'd imagine, are probably losing faith in your RE as well which in turn has to be even tougher on you b/c they are the Drs that are suppose to be able to treat you.  Just my two cents!!!

Saphron - did you get to talk to them when they called w/ your time?  When is it scheduled?  Did you get any more details?  Do tell!!!!!  I'm doing fine.  Nothing much going on here, just sick and tired of the PIO shots.  I think i should give DH one in his butt so he can commiserate w/ me and know that when I complain about my butt hurting 8 hrs after, he will know why and have more sympathy.  LOL

Hope - yeah, I like your thinking about the smell issue but I think it is probably way too early for that.  I'm sure my hormones are all messed up b/c of the estrogen and the progesterone (which totally gives you all those pregnancy symptoms -grrrr).  How did your counseling appt go?  Hope it went well!!!

Gelly - yay, for getting your date moved up a little bit even!!!!!  Fingers crossed for you!!

Aura - Gotta love that MOMTOALEXIS!!!  She is so sweet!!  I really think you should call again and mention to them that you have talked to a couple people about how they got free appts and you were wondering why you have to pay when everyone else isn't????  That is what i would do. 

Hi to everyone else!!!!

[kaliprincess]

Hey Ladies!

I am new and I was looking for a place where I could share and hear about others stories.  I am 27 years old and have been married for 3 years.  We have tried and tried but nothing.  I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was younger and now we have been seeing the Dr to help us conceive.  We both currently live and work in Kuwait.  So, it is very hard for me to find any women to talk to about these things out here.  I have received some great service from the doctors here and I feel comfortable with them.  My husband and I have discussed and are still deciding on whether or not we would actually want to have a baby here or not, if we do get pregnant.  

I did my transfer on Saturday March 10, and we are awaiting the responses from the doctor.  They took 27 eggs.  I responded very quickly to the meds given and than my Dr became concerned if I would hyperstimulate.  The first couple days after the retrieval I had mild cramps but yesterday the cramps were so bad they made me throw up.  I also started endometrin the day after the procedure.  I pray that day 5 will be our day!  

I would like to join the chats if that is okay.  I find it very encouraging to read other posts and learn that some of the symptoms I go through are not abnormal.  

Thanks

[rcr]

Kali - Welcome! Good luck with all those eggs!

Blue - thanks. That did make me feel better. I have thought about switching REs quite a lot lately, but the problem is that she is the only one in the state. I could go out of state, but the drive to her (3hrs) is killing me with work and child care (mostly child care, as I have a flexible job). I am hoping to do this one IVF with her before May (the end of the school year for me), and if it doesn't work, fly out to Vegas to see Dr. Sher. If I am going out of state, it really isn't a huge stretch to just fly somewhere else. I would just have to figure out child care. It is complicated by the fact that DS lives and works in another city during the week, so we only see him on the weekends, so I don't have him to fall back on for child care. In any case, it is not my RE that I am loosing faith in, it is by body. I think that Dr. Sher has better success with really hard cases, and I think I am one of those. It is spring break now, so I am home with DS all week, which has been really wonderful and has made me happy. I do feel so thankful that I have him. I don't think I would appreciate what a miracle he is if I were able to conceive so easily.

Aura - thanks. I am feeling a little better. Like I said to Blue, it actually does make it a little easier because I already have DS. I think dealing with my IF would be worse without him.

Saph - that is wonderful news!!

Gelly - sorry your u/s was moved!

Aura - Thanks. I like having a pity party every now and then. Sorry I never replied to your post about your new plan. I think it is wonderful. I didn't know it took so long to get an appointment with the SIRM. I am going to make an appointment right away to the office in Vegas, since I am thinking of going there if this next IVF does not work (or gets canceled again). when I get depressed about IF it usually leads me to looking into adoption online. DH used to live in an African country that does adoptions, but they have a rule that you can't have a biological child, so that rules us out. It makes me upset, because it would be perfect since he knows both the languages, and culture, and food, etc. Domestic seems to daunting. In any case, I was looking more into it online, and trying to figure out if there are any exceptions to that rule.

AFM - most of able was AFM. haha. I am feeling kinda better. Today is my video conference with the RE, and my progestrone test, and a cervical culture. I got a call on Friday saying that DSs semin analysis came back and it was full of bacteria! He is not on antibiotics. They said that it is strange that I did not show any bacteria when they did my culture inside my cervix, since it is something that naturally happens inside women, and many men get it form women. So they are doing a culture on the outside of my cervix today. In any case, he is on antibiotics now, so it should clear it up. Hopefully. We haven't had a lot of sex lately, so I wouldn't be surprised if I don't have it, although it would be a mystery where he got it from. They said he can also catch it anywhere, and it can travel up the penis. I am excited to hear what the RE says about my cycle. I really, really, hope I don't have to have an off cycle.

[hope4light]

saphrons - That sounds wonderful!!  Fill us in with the rest of the details, can't wait to hear when the transfer will be!!

kali - Hello, and welcome!  I hope that your stay here is short and sweet.  This is a great group of women to talk to.  Let us know how everything is going! 

AFM - our counseling appt went well!  Now, just to continue on the waiting game.

Out of curiosity, has anyone else done an IVF cycle without BCP's?  My first cycles back in 2008 all included BCP's, so I'm just wondering.....

[saphrons]

Blue - I SO hear you on the progesterone shots. Those are so painful and may very well be the worst part of the entire cycle. For whatever reason, I had a laughing fit last night just before and during the actual shot! Whatever you do, don't laugh and then shake your butt as you are getting the shot. You'll pay for it later.

Hope - I had to take BCP (Desogen) prior to the IVF cycle. I believe I had to take it to regulate my cycle. I'd be curious if those w/ regular cycles have to go through that. The hormones gave me some awful side effects that I hadn't been expecting.

I missed the call from the doctor's office again in the afternoon yesterday. They left me a voicemail that my transfer will be tomorrow at 9 AM. Pray for me! I hope we have some strong embies. We are only planning on transferring one unless the quality is poor. In that case, we will transfer two.

[Vegan Princess]

Hope4light: I did not take them. I was afraid they would oversupress me. I used estrogen patches before my actual cycle started (estrogen priming). But another clinic had reccomended doing neither and just starting my cycle with no prep in the cycle before. Do you have high FSH?

RCR: Thinking of you!!

Silver: I hope you're doing ok!!

Cindy

[rcr]

Home4 - well, I am going to be doing an IVF cycle without bcp now. See my AFM.

Sap - yay for a transfer time! I will be thinking of you!

Silver - thinking of you too. How are you? Haven't heard from you lately. Hope everything is ok.

AFM- My appointment was short, but good. We are trying again with the same protocol that I used for my first IVF. Something like 375 of follistom and 150 menipur - no lupron. But adding gannirelix at some point. She said that of all my cycles that was my best one. So no BCP. I remember taking them last time, and didn't ask the RE about it when we were talking. Then I asked the nurse to order my meds and she gave me a script for BCP, but then she called back and said that I won't be needing then because I will be starting with stims on CD3. So, I am thinking that I am not pregnant, but kinda ok with it because I have a plan to move forward (which always makes me feel better). Also, I am happy that I don't have to wait a cycle, and that I don't have to waste time with BCP - If AF comes mid week next week, I will probably be looking at retrieval around the first week or two of april!

[prayinghard]

Saphrons:    Saying lots of prayers for you!

Welcome Kali: 

AFM:  The RE's office had to push my appointment for my lining check until tomorrow.  Wish me luck.  Got to go to bed now.  Prometrium is still killing me.  Renavoo, thanks for sharing your experience with prometrium.  Makes me not feel like such a wimp!  Thinking of all of you.  I read everyone's posts, but now, because of the medication, I am just too dang tired to respond! 

[hope4light]

Saph - I can't believe you laughed through them!!  I imagine it was one of those things where once you get started you can't stop, even though you KNOW you'll pay for it later!!!  I am SO not looking forward to the PIO, they are the thing that scares me the most out of all this as I've never done them before but have heard horror stories.  I think that is part of what the BCP's are for, that and to time it best for the RE.  It's just so interesting to me that I'm not doing them this time, although my cycles have been fairly regular recently.  I can't believe you missed the call again!!!  It's 8:35 where I am now, so I'm sending prayers your way as I know you're there getting prepped!  Hope to hear how it goes in the next few hours!!!

Vegan - No, I don't have high FSH, at least not that they said.  They said everything was normal.  I'm wondering if that's part of the reason - everything is normal, so they want to try to do it as according to my cycle as possible.  It does make me slightly nervous as in the past I flew pretty high (follies and E levels) when I DID take BCPs.  But I've also done some research and found that it may not be the BCP's themselves that oversuppress, but rather the way the entire cycle goes... Who knows.  This is why I'm trying to just trust my RE.

rcr - Did they say why no BCP's?  I'm just curious because it never really crossed my mind at the time that we talked about it.  Glad the appt went well, and that you don't have to wait a cycle!!  We may end up being cycle buddies if all works out for both of us!  I think you'll be just a little ahead of me, but hopefully not too much!!

[saphrons]

Just had the embryo transfer. They recommended that we transfer two because they were in the morula stage so that's what we did. Now we just have to stay patient..

Has anyone else ever been through a 5 day morula transfer?

[rcr]

Saph - Congrats on the tranfer! my first IVf was a 5 day morula. I only transfered one because that is all I had.

Hope4 - No, they didn't, but I will be doing a lower does protocol than my last two (canceled) cycles were, so I presume it is to not over-suppress me, since the low-stims won't be stimming me as much. Just a guess though.

Praying - Hi!