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Winter IVF Thread : Bring on the BFPs! - Page 48

post #941 of 1307

RCR: When do you start stims? Exciting!


Gale: Sounds like you are doing amazing!!



post #942 of 1307

Gale: Glad your shots are going OK.  Hope your bruise is healing up.  Sounds like you’ve some good follies coming.


Vegan: please sick around with some baby dust for us!


Rcr: glad your folies are growing well. Hope you get your calendar soon.


Praying that is a load of bedrest! I don’t think I could do that much.  Sorry acupuncture didn’t work for you.


Renavoo: Yep she’s here! Hope your good.


Blue hope your good.


AFM: AF has arrived.  Baseline scan and starting drugs tomorrow!  My blood test results arrived just in time too.  I was just curing them for not coming in time and they popped through the door.  I’m very excited! I was really worried yesturday as I had a horrid sore throat bug.  I've invested so much on vitiamins and then I get sick right when it's important.  But I feel loads better today and the clinic said I could go ahead with my cycle.


 Also do people think it's OK to keep taking maca? I've herd its differnt because it's more of a food than a herb but perhapse I should stop just to be safe? And what about my natures living superfood in the tww wait?  it contains ginger root which I am totally confused about as often the same herbal book will site ginger as an abotifant and a morning sickness cure.  I only take half a teaspoon and there are so many other ingredients there is proably only a spec of ginger in it.  So much to worry about!

Edited by Silverbird - 2/7/12 at 3:21pm
post #943 of 1307

rcr- i can't wait for you to get your calendar!  and also, to agree with renavoo, i had way more eggs at retreival than i saw at baseline.  once all those drugs are in your system the come popping out!


gale-  how many days have you been on stims?  i feel like you just started and already there are 20?!  that's great!


silver- i hope you feel better!


afm, no news.  just walking a lot, went to acupuncture, trying to stay calm.  i've been insanely tired but i suspect it's because i have cut out even my decaf.  more waiting...

post #944 of 1307
Thread Starter 

Silver - I take Maca, but it is really just because I have so much of it. I take a lot of supplements, and I started Maca years ago when we were still TTC the old-school way (naturally). I don't think it will help us at this point, but I still take it. Anyway, I plan to stop taking it, and many of the other supplements that I take when I start stims. I also take wheat grass (in fact, I credit wheat grass for lowering my FSH so much). I take a lot - so maybe I will cut down during stims. I don't know. .. I am curious what others tell you.


Vegan - I am not sure when I start stims... just waiting for my calendar. I think I will do about 14 days of BCP. Today is day 2


Aura - yea, waiting.... I am familiar with that. Congrats on cutting out coffee. I still do a cup or two a day.

post #945 of 1307

Aura - Waiting is such a pain!!!  I hope the tww goes by fast!!! When is your beta or do you just have to do a hpt?  When we were doing IUI's we just had to do a hpt w/ no beta. I'm still in your shoes too.... seems like never ending waiting on my side here.  Ugghhhhh!


Silver - Yay for AF and your baseline!!!!  Can't wait to hear how it goes!!!  I kinda stayed away from too many supplements.  In my case when we did our first IVF and got a BFP i wasn't on anything and I just hate to take too much and possible throw the expensive drugs off - IMO.  I know most RE's don't want us taking anything extra so you might want to ask your nurse and see what they think.  Keep us posted on how everything goes.


Belly - thanks for your thoughts and prayers.  I don't know what we will about our 3 frozen embies.  I know the last time we thawed three only 2 made it and they were frozen on Day 2 and my RE likes to put them back in right away and not let them go to blast.  You were kinda in that situation with you old RE and then when you changed didn't they do it all differently in that practice?  Remind me if you have a chance.  Did the new RE thaw a bunch and let them go to blast and then transfer but your old one just kept putting them back in right away?  We can't test for the DQ alpha matches at all even in a fresh cycle so it is all kinda a crap shoot in picking out the right one. Hope you are feeling better and getting over that darn m/s for good.


Gale - Wow, 20 is great!!!!!  Keep us posted for sure.  So excited for you and hoping this is your cycle!!!! Keep us posted.  Not sure what we are going to do w/ our situation.  Just know we will do the FET for sure and will go from there and try to figure out the rest as we go.  We are just both really burned out w/ all of it and financially it's taken a toll and now that we have even less odds of it working we are trying to weigh all the options.  I'm sure if we had infertility insurance and didn't have to pay for it all out of pocket it wouldn't be as big of an issues.  We will see..... one day at a time, is what i keep saying!!!   I am also wondering like Vegan what the low dose HCG does?  Usually they give it to you to make you ovulate in higher doses so that is weird.


Vegan - Awesome beta number!!!!!!!!!  Can't wait to hear about your u/s.  How many did you transfer again, one????  Good question about the low dose hcg to Gale.  Wonder what it does do?  Feel free to stick around as long as you want!!!!!!  Maybe you will bring some other some good luck while you are hanging out.


Renavoo - are you so sweet to keep checking in on us.  I'm hanging in there.  See my AFM (which by the way I always thought was "AS for Me".  I saw the quest come up on the other side.  Hope you are feeling well.  I'll have to check the other side for any updates from you and maybe a belly shot??? Hmmmmm???????  Sheepish.gif  Thought your work story was pretty funny too.


Praying - I think you made the right decision about the acupuncture if you aren't enjoying it.  I like the idea of "fairness in the world" giving me a BFP, unfortunately it has never been fair thus far so it is hard to get my hopes up, but I'll keep praying that maybe my time will be coming.  It is out of my hands and I know that!


rcr - yay for 9!!!!  I think that is a great start!!! Keep us posted.


Hope i didn't miss anyone.  Was just trying to go back this page and the last.


AFM - Had my appt today with the Dr here in our area that is hopefully going to do my intralipids w/ our next FET.  He seems really nice so that was good.  Still waiting for AF to come and I'm on CD 46 right now.  I've been having some weird cramps and also felt kinda nauseous, so who knows what that is all about.  I'm guessing that my hormones are all out of wack right now and confused at what is going on since I was on Lupron for Dec and most of Jan and then stopped cold turkey.  Just wish she would show up so I can get the show on the road here.


post #946 of 1307

Gale, Yah to being a great responder! You're getting so close!


Rcr, let us know what your calendar says. We're going to be there with you every step of the way! 


Blue, UGH to AF still not being here!! I can't believe that she's being such a pain in the rear end. Hopefully, the cramping and nauseousness are signs that she's on her way. Just thinking of you and hoping you can start soon. Come on, I'm ready to stalk you to your BFP! I'm glad that you like your intralipids doctor. How often do you have to get the infusion? Is this something that is covered by your insurance? I hope so! Maybe they can code it for something else. How are your mom and dad, by the way?


haha I find acronyms so funny. It's only when someone asks others to spell it out do we realize how it could mean so many different things to different people! 


I'm doing well! I should provide an update but really, there's nothing happening on my side. I'm just looking forward to my next appointment on Friday so I'll provide an update then :o) but I'll write more on the graduate side. 


Silver, I would cut the herbs and supplements just because my RE told me to. However, i know a few people who continued on their herbs and were just fine so I think it's more of what you would be comfortable with.


Aura, we're waiting with you too! I just can't wait until you ladies all get BFPs and then join us on the graduates side. praying.gif

Edited by renavoo - 2/8/12 at 3:30am
post #947 of 1307

Silver: Woo Hoo for AF arriving!  Good luck at your baseline and with starting stims! Let us know how it goes.  I’m glad your sore throat didn’t stick around.  I woke up for work last night and my throat felt terrible.  It’s still sore today but I drank lots of water and hot tea during the night in hopes it will go away. 


Aura:  When do you test/have your beta?  The two week wait is always such an eternity, right?  I’m glad you’re finding ways to fight off the stress.  Today is Day 5 of stims for me – you’re right about it seeming like I just started! 


Blue:  I think taking it one day at a time is an excellent idea.  It can be so overwhelming to think about all the what-ifs and maybes and sometimes the best thing to do is take things one at a time as they happen.  I’ve got everything crossed that this FET is going to be THE ONE! 


Vegan/Blue:  My understanding about the low dose HCG is that the Gonal F provides the FSH part of the cycle and the HCG provides the LH part of the cycle, so doing them together mimics a natural cycle. The goal in using Gonal F and HCG together is to have the follicles grow steadily and at the same time so they are all the same size at retrieval.  There is also research that shows HCG in low doses helps prevent OHSS which is something my doctor is concerned about since I responded so well to Clomid alone with our IUIs.  I’ll still do a large dose of HCG (10,000 iu) to trigger ovulation, but what I’m taking now is just part of getting the follicles nice and pretty. ;)


AFM:  The nurse called yesterday to tell me the RE changed my Gonal F from 150 iu to 113.5 iu.  The HCG is still at 10u and they’ll re-assess everything tomorrow when I go for my u/s and bw. I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable - heaviness/fullness in my abdomen but nothing too bad. 

post #948 of 1307
Thread Starter 

Gale - wow, that dose is so low, and 20 eggs! you must have super-ovaries! I am so excited to hear your progress!

post #949 of 1307

Gale: Thanks for the HCG explanation. Interesting! You're doing so awesome! I hope the HCG keeps OHSS at bay.



post #950 of 1307

hello ladies!


gale- my first ivf i had 20 something eggs and was SOOOO bloated.  i actually bought a bella band because my pants were too tight to button!  after the retrieval it went away, at least you know your body is an egg making machine!

blue- cycle day 46?!?!  i can't believe how long you've been waiting, but it will be so worth it! 


rcr-  i dream about coffee.  delicious, delicious coffee.  


afm, had weird uncomfortable feeling in my bladder/uteruine area.  it was worse during my walk (been trying to keep moving during my lunch break!), where i could feel the pressure, but now it feels sore.  i am hoping it's not a uti.  i've never had one, but i assume this is what it feels like when it starts? trying to chug water (can't have cranberry juice because of the carbs!) and hoping it passes.  


my clinic always has us come in for a beta, even for iuis, so my beta is on the 21st.  i'm sure it would have been sooner but the long weekend is pushing it back.  bah humbug.  i figure if it didn't work i'd probably just get my period before then.

post #951 of 1307

Gale - thanks for the explanation on the hcg shot. Interesting.  I hope it helps prevent OHSS.


Renavoo-  I haven't gotten all the details on the intralipids yet.  Actually my RE called me tonight to talk about it at 5:30pm.  I guess he just talked to the 2nd Opinion RE so i'll hopefully get to talk to him tomorrow afternoon and find out more.  I think I will have one treatment like 7-10 days before the ET and then if/when we get a BFP they give it like 2-3 more times after maybe like wk 5 and wk 9 or something like that, but i'm not sure.  Nope, like everything else it will also be out of pocket.  irked.gif  Mom and Dad are hanging in there.  My mom's hand still hasn't come back like they want so I just keep hoping and praying she has a miracle soon.  Has to be so frustrating for her.  Thanks for your update on the other side.


rcr -how are you?


vegan - when is your u/s????


aura - hope you feel better soon.  that is weird!!  Good idea to up your water.  Hope that helps. Fingers crossed for your beta!!


Hi to everyone else!!!

post #952 of 1307
Thread Starter 

Blue - I think it is so cool that the two REs are talking. The second opinion dr seems like a hard worker- with the web site, and his practice, and then calling people. how nice for him to be working with your Dr.  I am ok, thanks for asking. I got my calendar today, I stop BCPs a week from Sunday. then I have an appointment for suppression check a few days after that. Transfer around MArch 12 if all goes wel (crossing my fingers).

post #953 of 1307

Gale, ugh, I was so uncomfortable towards the end too! But it was nice to have gotten so many eggs and I'm hopeful that you too will have many eggs to choose from. I forget but does your clinic typically do 3 or 5 day transfers? Or do they look at the response before deciding (that's what my clinic did...but they preferred 5 day transfers. I know other clinics like Blue's prefer 3 day transfers) Let us know how your visit goes! How are you feeling about the upcoming retrieval and transfer? 


Blue, I'm so sorry and frustrated for your mom. It has to be so hard on her to lose function when she's used to being fully functional. i really hope she gets it back soon too. It sounds like your dad has recovered fully? I'm glad for that. As for the intralipids, UGH! I can't believe nothing is covered by your insurance. I wish they could code it as something not fertility related so that you could get something covered. But I'm hoping it works so it'll all be worth it. COME ON, AF, Show your face already! Let's get this show on the road!


i'm with RCR- it is wonderful that your current RE is so willing to speak with the second opinion RE. It makes me really respect your doctor because I feel like many doctors don't want to "learn" anymore but your RE really sounds like he wants to learn and improve his practice. So great and hopefully, it will pay off!


Rcr, yah to having a schedule! Mid March isn't too far away so I'm hoping for a nice April present for you :oD


Aura, NO to the UTI!! I hope you don't get one either because those definitely don't feel good. I don't like cranberry juice so the last time I got an UTI, I just bombarded my body with water and while I had to go to the bathroom a lot, it cured me pretty quickly. Hope this happens to you. Ugh to an extended 2ww too. So i assume you're going to wait it out and not test? Good for you!


Vegan, how are you doing?  



post #954 of 1307
Thread Starter 

Aura - I wouldn't worry about not drinking cranberry juice. My mom has Alzheimer's and gets IUTs all the time (like monthly). It is really problematic for people with Alzheimers because they have toileting problems and they don't drink enough. anyway, the doctors and nurses say that the only benefit of cranberry juice is to keep them hydrated, but water works just as well for that.

post #955 of 1307

So I typed a huge message last night and it got eaten by the mothering gods ;)  Here we go again!


Blue, when I did my fresh cycle back in 2009 we were very "fortunate" that I overstimmed and had plenty of embryo's.  I think they retrieved 34.  My old RE gave us the option of freezing at different stages, since I guess sometimes it varies for people, their 3 days might thaw better or the 5 days.  From what I have read on the internet, most people's 3 days thaw "prettier" so it's easier to tell the quality after thawing, whereas the 5 days are kind of ugly since it is just a mass of cells trying to re-expand.  So you "know" the 5 days survived longer, but the quality is a little harder to judge.  Anyway, we ended up freezing 12 day 3 embryos and 12 day 5 (7 were blasts and 5 were only morulas), and transfered the 2 best blasts with my fresh cycle.  When we started doing FET's, I wanted to start with the blasts, but the first cycle we had a timing mix up and had to thaw the 3's because I wasn't told to start the progesterone in time.  That ended with my ectopic.  Next cycle was cancelled from ovulation.  Then, I wanted to do the blasts again, but alas, my thin lining and another timing problem with the clinic, this time started too early with the progesterone (RE was on vacation), so we had to use the day 5s, but lining was borderline thin, so we went with morulas to not risk our best on a thin lining.  Then August we tried for the blasts again and lining was good (better than my fresh, but not great), but BFN.  When we switched clinics the RE asked if we would be willing to grow out the remaining 7 day 3's (which I had asked my old RE to do, but I don't think he was confident enough with his lab....he didn't say that but he totally blew me off, that and when I asked about hatching).  The new RE said we would be risking more, but getting the "best of the rest"  On the day of transfer (day 5) there was one early blast and one morula from the grown out day 3's.  In hindsight, I wish I would have used those, but after a year of FET's and BFN's, plus the new RE"s protocol is 2 months for an FET with IM drugs, I just didn't want to go through it again, so we thawed all the day 5s too (another 7 frosties), and ended up transfering the 2 best of those because they were farther along.  Sorry for the long story, but that's how it all went down :)  I think growing them out is a great idea, but only if the lab is confident and experienced.  I know your clinic likes day 2 transfers, so maybe going to day 3 would be best.  I know the solution changes after that and the embryos are very sensitive.  I know rcr is looking into hatching, would your RE do it on day 3?  I think that made a huge difference for us!  Also wishing the best for your mom, I hope the recovery really speeds up!


Aura, ugh to a UTI, they suck!  Can you take anything for it?  And bummer for a really late beta...I wish it was sooner!  Have you decided to wait this time?


Gale, great job with those follies!!!!  You are so close now!


rcr, so glad you got your calendar!!!  I can't wait for you to really get started!!  And praying for no more delays!


Vegan, refresh me on your u/s?  Is it coming up now?  Mine was at 6w3d and we saw the hb on both babies!


Silver, you are getting so close too!!!  Oh my, I am very excited for your cycle!


Praying, any updates?! 


Got to run, but wishing everyone tons of luck and baby dust!



post #956 of 1307
Thread Starter 

Belly - wow, I was here for most of that, but seeing the whole story written out is amazing. What an ordeal. Anyway, you are correct - I asked about AH. We are planning to do a 3-day transfer (which my clinic does not usually do), and AH (also, something that usually don't do). I think that they are really concerned about multiples, so to they do 5-day transfers, but I pushed for AH and she agreed, if we do a 3-day transfer.



post #957 of 1307

RCR: I'm glad they agree to what you want! :-) I know so many push for 5 day but 3 day w/AH worked for me. 


Blue: I'm so glad your doc is talking with the other doc. I hope they are able to figure a great plan out for you! Now come on AF!


Silver: Did AF arrive?? 


AFM: I'm doing fine. I really don't have many symptoms. My ultrasound is on Monday. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm pretty sure it's just 1, but I am curious to make sure. I'm just trying to turn it all over to God and not worry about things. I think I'm doing a decent job. 


Sorry if I already asked this and forgot, but when did you guys get cleared to start BDing again or exercising (prego exercise, of course)? I feel so nasty bc I haven't worked out or done much activity at all in 6 weeks. I'm not a huge exercise enthusiast these days but I like to go more than never. And I think it's important to stay active thru pregnancy to be healthy and fit for labor. I am dying to get back to yoga and some light cardio. Maybe some light weights. I worked out 3-4x/week w/my daughter doing cardio and light weights and did yoga a couple times/week. Did bikram yoga in a slightly cooler than normal room until a week before birth. I would love to get back to it. Though I def don't have the time to work as much now that I actually have a kid.



post #958 of 1307

Ugh!!  I too wrote a long note last night and now I see that POOF!...  It is gone.  Darn it!


Guess I will start from scratch!


Blue:  Sorry to hear that your mom is still having complications.  I work in a neuro unit and I see people recover fully from strokes all the time.  it just takes some time and patience.  Tell her to hang in there!  Glad that your dad is feeling better.  I have not heard you mention Abby lately.  how is she doing?  All this stuff with the intralipids is facinating.  Sorry that you have to pay out of pocket.  Have they given you any idea as to the cost?


Aura:  That stinks that you are not feeling well.  Any better today?  Cranberry is actually very good for the kidneys.  If you do not wnat to drink the juice, they do sell it in the vitamin section in pill form.  My girlfriend used to get UTI's all the time, then she started taking the cranberry and they have all but ceased.  Increased water intake is a good idea too.


Belly:  You have been through so much in your IF journey.  I am so glad that you are finally getting the babies you deserve.  How are you feeling these days?  Thanks for asking about me.  No good news here.  See my AFM for update.


Vegan:  When I got prego with DS, Re said no BDing for the first trimester....  But he is ultraconservative, so you may get a different recommendation from yours.  Can't wait to see what your US says!


Gale:  How are you feeling?  Still rooting like crazy for you!


Silver:  Glad things are moving forward for you.  If it were me, I would not take any neutriceuticals while going through all this.  There is just not enough information out there regarding any possible interactions they could have with your IF meds or studies on possible harm to a baby.  That is just my opinion.


RCR and Renavoo:  How are you ladies doing?


Sorry so short (so mad I lost my post from yesterday).  I am out of time.  quickly...


AFM:  Bad news at the Re on Tuesday.   1 new follie an the old one has stipped growing.  Not sure if they will ovulate or not.  If the don't...more waiting until they dissolve on their own.  I just can NOT catch a break!  See the Re tomorrow so.....irked.gif




post #959 of 1307

Praying - so sorry to hear about your bad news from your RE. I hope things start to look up for you soon. Thanks for your encouragement for my mom.  I know it can take time b/c I'm a therapist and have worked with a lot with stroke patients, but you know how family are, sometimes they don't listen to family.  I think she wants to hear it from someone else or thinks maybe i'm just giving her a line to make her feel better.  She did just change OT's so she is happier with the new person, so that is good.  She did tell me last night that she is now able to turn her wrist so that is an advancement in itself.  Hope her fingers start working some now.  My dad actually still has his cough (went away and then came back). They are both suppose to see their Pcp out in CA today (mom to get INR checked again and dad to have his chest checked).  Abby is doing really well except she has a histocytoma in her ear right now (which is like a little lump that the vet said she hopes/thinks is a benign tumor).  I had to take her in to the vet last week to have it checked b/c i was worried.  I've had to put this steroid cream on it BID and she said if it doesn't go away in like 6 months we might want to have it removed.  Good grief!!!  This poor dog.  I just ordered her some of the same brand vitamins that i take that are really good and a trustworthy brand (they make some for dogs too) so i'm hoping that it will help her immune system b/c i feel like she needs something b/c she has had so many infections and other health issues in only her 9months of life.  She is always happy as can be even with all this stuff going on.  We will see.  Thanks for asking.  About losing your posts... I have learned to just copy my whole post before I go to try and post it b/c that way if I lose it for some reason i can just paste it back on the page.


Vegan - I want to say our RE said not to BD until after the 1st U/S for sure, but I'm kinda drawing a blank on after that.  I know they are okay with walking for exercise but if you were doing the exercise before I'd think it might be okay but just don't over-do.  I'd ask for sure on Monday just to be safe.


Belly - thanks for writing that out again (see my last comment to Praying about losing post - it might help you too).  Not sure if, I, or my RE has the confidence in the embryologist since they are so used to doing day 2 transfers, so it kinda makes me nervous in a way, but we will see.  I think with a FET they do let them go to day 3 so that is good.  We will see.


Renavoo - yeah, i wish they could code it as something other too, but i think they will submit it to the insurance just to see, but i highly doubt it will get paid.  We have a God awful deductible to still meet (started over Jan 1) so even if they do cover it, i think it would be part of our deductible, so we'd have to pay for it anyways.  I think it might run between like $300-$500 each session, but i'm not 100% sure yet.


rcr - yes, i think it is great too that the two RE's are kinda working together in a way.  Actually, i think the 2nd one is just recommending his knowledge to the 1st, but i'll take whatever I can get to my benefit.  We might be cycle buddies after all!!!!!!!! joy.gif See my AFM!!!


AFM - Spoke with my RE tonight and I GET TO START LUPRON TONIGHT!!!!!!joy.gifjoy.gifjoy.gif  I'm so excited!!!  I told him that tomorrow will be CD 49 and this is getting old and I just want to get the ball rolling and he said that is fine for me to start tonight and would rather have me start before my period starts.  I took a hpt this am just b/c i wanted to make sure and it was a BFN (go figure).  He told me about his conversation with the 2nd RE and he agrees we should only transfer one at a time and said that if this transfer doesn't work he won't charge me for the next FET.  He is such a nice guy, I could just hug him!!!!!!!!  He doesn't even know how generous and kind i truly think he is, well maybe he does, b/c I've written him thank you notes after several of our transfers.  Anyways, maybe he feel bad since we have been transferring 2 at a time all these times and now we are finding out that we could be transferring one good and one bad and it has been affecting our odds negatively, so it has basically been kinda a waste of our money.  I'm just so appreciative of his generosity and kindness.  He owns the practice, so I'm sure he can do whatever he wants.  Also, this is kinda weird but the last two days i have had this weird sound in my Left ear and i'm not sure if i should worry about it or just blow it off.  It is like the swooshing of my heart in my Left ear.  I usually only hear it when it is quiet and last night i hear it when i was trying to sleep too which was annoying.  I did google it and then got kinda scared... people talking about having to have MRI's, CT scans, clots and strokes and all that scary stuff.  Or maybe it is just nothing. Who knows.  Okay, that is all I've got tonight.  Keep thinking there was something else I was going share with you all but I'm drawing a blank, so it must not have been important.


post #960 of 1307

blue- this is phenomenal news!!! i am enamored with your RE.  it takes a big man to realize that he has more to learn, and that what he was doing was actually hurting your chances.  and the fact that he is now trying new things with you, and for free?!  i mean, *I* want to write him a thank you letter!  i think so many times the drs start us all out on the same protocol and it's just a process of elimination until they find the right combo.  instead of blaming you, he is taking responsibility.  hooray!  now i really feel confident that your baby is coming!


praying-  so sorry about the news.  it's the worst when your body doesn't cooperate.  doesn't it know how ready you are?  i'm hoping you ovulate and don't have to wait any longer.


rcr- i'm so fascinated that there are clinics who say they ONLY do a five day or ONLY do a three day.  my clinic watches the embryos and based on their observations they make decisions.  i am so glad you spoke up and demanded that they do things differently.  


belly- hearing your story is insane.  this is such a roller coaster ride, i am so glad you are pregnant.  i can't believe how many times your clinic screwed things up!


afm, i do not have a uti.  i don't know if what i felt was the beginning of one, or if it was something else.  who knows.  it's subsided a bit.  still not 100% normal, but not any of the real pain or burning sensations that i think go along with a uti.  i have kept up with my lunchtime walks, diet still going strong.  today i FINALLY broke past the 16lb plateau and have now lost 18 lbs.  phew!  i'm aiming for 12 more to make it a nice even 30.  i am desperately trying not to go symptom crazy.  especially because it's early.  also, i think having done this so many times, i am finally starting to just relax.  if it happens, it happens.  if not, i lose more weight and keep trying.  i am going to try really hard not to test. i have tested on my last three cycles and it NEVER makes me happy.  every day i cry, every day i get more and more depressed.  and the pms mixed with the depression is a terrible mix.  this month i a trying to be strong!

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