So, I have had four babies previously and went to almost 41 weeks with one of them because I have never believed in or wanted an unnecesary induction. I guess I never considered what a necesary one looked like.
My last baby was a precipitous labor, which means he came really very fast. People always think that's a good thing, it isn't. To do the work of labor in a very short time, your body works much harder, the contractions are harder, longer, etc. the pain is exponentially worse when doing the work in say two hours as opposed to say seven or twelve. And since there is no rest in between contractions, the baby is cut off from oxygen. So he was born in an hour and a half, with the nursing staff telling me I wasn't in labor (I came in because I knew I was in labor, but according to them I had not dilated or effaced at all) and he needed medical intervention when he came out, he wasn't breathing, he was blue and limp, not all pink and wriggling like my other babies had been. They had to resussesitate him. SO, I've been really worried. My labors have gone: 7 hours, 6 hours, 3 hours, 1.5 hours and I'm terrified of a 45 min labor when I live 45 min from the hospital. So what if I don't make it there in time and I have another baby that needs reviving? Given that, the induction seems to make sense because I guarantee she is delivered at the hospital and they can help manage my labor if needed. And if she needs medical intervention, it's there.
However, I know that induction has it's own set of risks, including cascading into other interventions I don't want. Although, my doctor says inducing someone who isn't ready at all is not the same as inducing someone who is already dilating and effacing, which I am. But not much. 2 cm and 25%, however, that's all I was last time (according to my doctor at my last check up, even though the nurse at the hospital said a fingertip) when I went into precipitous labor on my own.
So I'm scheduled for the induction tomorrow morning, I"ll be 39weeks5days. It's not like she's not term, but I still feel like I"m forcing her out, before she's ready. Then I'm worried that all my decisions are coming from fear, I scheduled the induction out of fear of another precipitous labor and baby in distress. Now I'm doubting my decision out of fear of a failed inductions leading to a csection. Although, truly, I guess I would rather have the section than a baby who needed medical care and couldn't get it. So I guess that's my answer. But I'm still nervous and somewhat guilty about inducing. I guess I just need to vent to those who would understand. My mainstream friends and family don't get it, induction is not a big deal to them and I've known people who schedule them just for parent and doctor convienance or to get the birth date they want. To me, it feels like a betrayal of everything I believe about natural childbirth. Sigh.
I have been contracting decently off and on since last night though, so maybe she is ready. But nothing too strong and nothing regular or progressive. Anyway, I think I've made the best decision I can given the facts I have. And I started this post unsure. So thanks for letting me work my thoughts out here!!!