Almost fully regressed.

[sgmom]

Does anyone have any experience with potty refusal and misses with a 3 year old? We started her at 4 months, and she was 100% diaper free and initiating the potty from 14-22 months. Her brother was born at 20 months (so we were expecting regression), but now at over 3 years old (she was three in september), I'm TIRED of the constant rushing her to the bathroom or potty when I see the poop squat or when she's standing there making a puddle. And it just seems to be getting worse and worse,

I'm ONE gummy bear away from using bribes.

Suggestions? Advice? Support? I'll take anything at this point.

[riboflavin]

Hi Sgmom, I know you have been on these boards for a long time, so I am sure you have seen and tried many of the classic things to get her back on track. Different potties, different locations, songs, books, etc. That is a really frustrating age I am sure to be dealing with potty issues after having so much success earlier. I know when my DS was 24ish months and we were still struggling it was really hard. Poop misses were the hardest, because I didn't have to deal with that most of his life so I wasn't prepared at all. I was like, "Oh my God, I am so glad I EC'd and didn't have to deal with this messiness every day!" I think that is one thing to keep in mind when getting frustrated about late age accidents. Even if your daughter is having resistance right now, think of all the wet and messy diapers EC has saved you. 

If you had a boy, I would suggest getting him back on track by having him pee on a piece of cereal floating in the toilet, standing to pee with a little urinal, etc. I am trying to think of some pee-type-games for a girl to make her want to pee in the potty. Maybe put a little shampoo in the toilet so when or if she goes it will bubble up! Maybe use a fizzy tub color type product to turn the toilet water a different color? Maybe allow her to throw a tablet in before she goes and then look at the water when she is done? If you demonstrate she might be encouraged to try next time she has to go.

My kids and others I babysat for loved Once Upon Potty dvd. It's mostly little kids sitting on BBLP type potties and singing catchy tunes. Really made the kids want to go to be like the others which were having a grand old time on their potties! There are also dolls that go potty; maybe one of those would help! Have you tried letting her pick out cool underwear because she is 'so big now'? 

Now, of course it's not always possible to be on the exact same page as your spouse or significant other, so my husband did use bribes a bit towards the end. For him, it did make a difference. When my DS was really in a phase where not much could get him on the potty, the promise of a match box car could do the trick. Sometimes it got my DS back on track and in the habit of using the potty again. And even though I didn't use bribes, he would still go for me during those times. 

Good luck! Keep us posted!

(edited for spelling)

Edited by riboflavin - 11/16/11 at 7:26pm

[sgmom]

Thanks for the reply! I do have a son (he's 18 months and WILL. NOT. sit still, so he's a different story), but he is completely different than she ever was (in the communication department). She was taking herself independantly at 14 months, but didn't eliminate on cue until closer to 20 months. Wheras he would go on cue from about 2 weeks old until he was fully mobile. 

Anyway... Yesterday we had two poop misses (caught in the act), and FOUR pee misses!! Two of which I didn't catch her in the act, and she didn't notify me that she was wet - I noticed long after her pants had gone cold. After the fourth (well, sixth miss of the day) I lost it and as I caught her standing in a puddle, I grabbed her (to lift her out of the puddle) and not so nicely said "Quit peeing on my floor!!" Needless to say that didn't go over well, so I got to her level to make it right, then turned the tables to make her laugh. Once she was over the shock of my not-so-proud emotional outburst (ugh), I started talking about misses. I asked her where the pee goes and then started singing "Pee pee in the toilet, no pee pee on the floor. Pee pee in the toilet, and your pants stay nice and dry" (repeat). She liked the song, and today has been COMPLETELY different. 

I removed the two potties we have laying around the house (one stays in her room, the other in the living room, tucked under a kiddie table, mostly for her brother to use), and basically stopped giving her control of when and where she goes by taking her to the bathroom every two or so hours and telling her it's "time to pee" (then singing the song). She can go MUCH longer than this, but I'm not going to give her the chance to prove me wrong. 

She's a BIT resistant, but so far she's gone along with the song and pee'd for me every time. 

[riboflavin]

Haha, that's great! Sometimes the silly songs do wonders. I have a really funny potty song I used to sing to my now 8 year old and now 4 year old and we were all cracking up singing it the other day.

Glad your DD isn't resisting you taking her to the potty. Maybe that is what she needed right now. Hopefully it will bring her back into the habit!

I feel ya with the DS who doesn't sit still. My DS is *still* like that at 4yo. He just constantly flips his body around! I could barely use him in any pictures for my trainers because he wouldn't stand still long enough for a picture! As far as ECing him, we really had to keep it entertaining to keep him still long enough to go! If you ever want a list of all the crazy games we tried to keep him potty interested let me know!

[sgmom]

It's pretty crazy. He was crawling at 4.5 months, and full on running at 8.5 months. Sitting is NOT his strong suit. haha

As for her, we had another pee accident and an almost poop miss today. What I can't figure out if it's behavioral, psychological, or developmental. And while she hasn't been too bad with resisting ME taking her, she wants nothing to do with her dad taking her... Maybe it's attention from ME she's seeking? 

Not sure... 

[riboflavin]

Weird, my DS did that too. Sometimes he would only go for me, and sometimes he would only go for daddy. Sometimes it would last for weeks! I don't know why and I remember posting on the boards asking for help. Maybe it is just who they are feeling closer to ATM? 

[sgmom]

Not sure, but she had 2 poop misses the other day, and five pee misses (most of which because I got too busy/distracted to remind her to go). AND she's started wetting the bed at night, and sleeping through it (to wake up "damp"). She almost ALWAYS wakes up dry, so that's something completely new.