Midwife gifts? « Back to Group Discussions

[Code Name Mama]

What has everyone gotten (or are you getting) for your midwife as a gift? I know that it is a pretty common thing to do, I'm wondering what is typical to buy and how much to spend.

I'm thinking about two things (one or the other) -

1) one of my friends just started a house cleaning business, and I was thinking of giving my mw a gift certificate for a couple hours of cleaning. I'm worried that something like that will be an odd gift - her house isn't dirty, but she is a busy unschooling mama on top of being a mw, so I thought maybe she'd like the break.
or
2) A child's felt midwife set from Mama's Felt Cafe (http://www.etsy.com/listing/84145686/felt-midwife-playset) - I love Brittany's work, and I've already talked to her about ordering. The only drawback of course is that it wouldn't be ready until well after baby arrives.

They are both about the same cost - $50. Is that an average amount to spend?

Oh, and I'm also gifting the midwife and her assistant with some homemade apple butter and a handmade holiday ornament at the birth - but those are out of love, I'm not adding them to the total

[IwannaBanRN]

Maybe you could get her the child's felt midwife set and put a confirmation receipt that it's on its way in an envelope and put the envelope with the apple butter and ornament. The midwife set could just be sent to her address, then, yes? I do agree that the cleaning would be an odd gift...

A gift certificate to a popular store might not hurt, if you can't decide on the other things.

Edited by IwannaBanRN - 11/16/11 at 7:32am

[birdhappy85]

I didn't know that it's common to give gifts to a midwife. Hmm. I'm interested to hear what other people say. I hope it's not poor form for me to not have anything for mine! I had no idea.

[Abraisme]

I plan on making my midwives each a pair of sterling silver earrings.  Probably something that would retail for around $30-$40 if I bought them in a store. 

The cleaning gift could be hit or miss..  To me, it sounds wonderful (and I keep a clean house), but some people really don't want a stranger messing with things in their home.  Maybe you could try to fish for some info, like mention that you've hired a cleaning lady at your next appointment and try to get her personal feelings on it? 

[Abraisme]

Some people do, some don't.  I'm pretty sure that most midwives don't expect anything, but appreciate it if they get something.  :)
 

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

I didn't know that it's common to give gifts to a midwife. Hmm. I'm interested to hear what other people say. I hope it's not poor form for me to not have anything for mine! I had no idea.

[mamabelle]

I have thought a lot about this as well, so glad to see a thread on it. I am thrilled with the midwives we're working with and would love to be able to get them something, but we honestly can't afford it. When we started this pregnancy we were in slightly better financial shape and set up our payment schedule to pay the most we could afford on their sliding scale. I figure this is the best way to reflect how much we value the work that they do, but as we near the birth I have been thinking about possible gifts.

I made a batch of apple butter and was going to give them each a jar to take home from the birth, but it's more of a "share the bounty" than a heartfelt gift. I just found a crochet pattern for some fingerless gloves/wrist warmers and was thinking they might be quick to whip up... but when I look through my yarn I am wishing I could go buy something better for this gift, but then it will start to get into more than I can afford. 

I agree that it is something nice to do, but hopefully will not reflect badly if we are unable.  The holiday ornament is a nice idea with the apple butter, I might adopt this idea! My sister made embroidered felt ornaments last year that were really cute and might take me a little less time and money than the crochet project. We'll see if I have time before baby arrives!

I think any busy mama would appreciate the cleaning gift, and don't think it would be odd. Maybe include in the card a note to "take the day off and let someone else do some of the work" or something so she knows it's not about the state of her house, just that who wouldn't want someone else to scrub the surfaces of the kitchen and bathroom, or clean the windows? 

[meesh933]

We didn't do anything last time. I actually have been meaning to since then, and DS is 21 months old! I have a really good picture from my last birth of my MW, the assistant, and DD leaning over the edge of the tub right after he was born. I've been meaning to frame it and give it to her. I'm kind of hoping to get another good picture this time, and frame them together? Or maybe just a picture of her with both of my babies that she delivered? IDK.

[jbk21]

Ooooh i love the photo idea- our MW LOVES our toddler, and I'm sure we could catch a shot of her with him, and possibly the new babe as well.  Great idea.  

[Code Name Mama]

I love the photo idea too!! My mw has some sweet photos in her office - I'd love to add to the collection

[Jaimee]

I haven't given gifts to my mw's before, but I have written thank you notes.  I know a gift is a nice gesture and is probably particularly appropriate if you feel your mw has gone above and beyond with your care.  But all three times I have not felt this way about my mw's.  They provide good care, the care I am paying for, but nothing that I feel inclined to thank with more money or gifts.  A picture is a nice idea and something I might include in a thank you note, but I imagine that mw's deliver so many babies that having framed pictures of each one or even several of them would become cumbersome.  The food you mentioned seems like gift enough to me!

[meesh933]

Originally Posted by Code Name Mama 

I love the photo idea too!! My mw has some sweet photos in her office - I'd love to add to the collection

Same here. She actually has a picture of me and my kids a couple of hours after DS was born....I look, uh, rough. Understandably so, but still. I'd love to give her a cute photo to replace that one with, lol!

[Code Name Mama]

Originally Posted by Jaimee 

I haven't given gifts to my mw's before, but I have written thank you notes.  I know a gift is a nice gesture and is probably particularly appropriate if you feel your mw has gone above and beyond with your care.  But all three times I have not felt this way about my mw's.  They provide good care, the care I am paying for, but nothing that I feel inclined to thank with more money or gifts.  A picture is a nice idea and something I might include in a thank you note, but I imagine that mw's deliver so many babies that having framed pictures of each one or even several of them would become cumbersome.  The food you mentioned seems like gift enough to me!

Yeah, I brought in a huge fruit basket to the birth center after Kieran's birth, but my heart wasn't in it, especially since no one bothered to come see us either in the NICU or after we got home But I love my mw now - she's amazing

[Abraisme]

I can totally understand this.  However, I'm really close to my midwives now..  This is my second birth with them and I've had 2 close friends and my sister use them as well.  If I just had a regular Dr. type situation, I highly doubt that I would get any gift.
 

Originally Posted by Jaimee 

I haven't given gifts to my mw's before, but I have written thank you notes.  I know a gift is a nice gesture and is probably particularly appropriate if you feel your mw has gone above and beyond with your care.  But all three times I have not felt this way about my mw's.  They provide good care, the care I am paying for, but nothing that I feel inclined to thank with more money or gifts.  A picture is a nice idea and something I might include in a thank you note, but I imagine that mw's deliver so many babies that having framed pictures of each one or even several of them would become cumbersome.  The food you mentioned seems like gift enough to me!