Homeschooling one child but not the other

[seawitch]

I've been planning homeschooling a long time - since before the kids were born, actually. Well, it turns out that one of the kids seems perfectly suited to it. And the other one seems totally suited to out-of-home schooling. When my DD is alone with me she is calm, quiet, happy, focused, eager to learn. When her brother is home, the whole dynamic of the house is different. I can't picture doing any homescholing with him. He loves going to preschool. DD likes it too, but she's not as excited about it and can take it or leave it. (Today she opted to stay home and I was fine with that.) DS wouldn't miss a school to save his life. He learns tons of things from his teachers but resists learning from me. He just wants to act silly and... well, that's fine and all, but in the long term I wonder how that would fit into our learning.

If he were to go to school, we would lose a lot of the benefits of being a homeschooling family - the ability to go places during the school year, not having to deal with the daily peer pressure stuff (we would still socialize them and all but ti's not the same as being away from the home the majority of each day). On the other hand, it might just be a better fit for each kid overall to try to respect their individualit by letting DS go to school and keeping DD at home - but then she might feel she was missing out? Urgh.

Has anyone made this sort of thing work?

(Sorrya bout the typos - my broswer is acting very funny and not letting me type properly - it's erasing letters left and right and typing one letter every few seconds.)

[saralm]

My mother homeschooled my brothers when they requested it of parts of elementary and middle school.  I never wanted to be homeschooled and never was.  I really wanted the social aspects of public school.   So if you have a gut feeling that only one of your children would enjoy the experience, go with it.  My parents took me out of school for occasionally for really amazing opportunities like traveling abroad or climbing a mountain with the whole family. 

[eplatt]

I haven't done it, but I would if it seemed like one of my daughters would thrive more in that environment. As it is now, they are both loving being home and learning with me and eachother rather than in school. But I was seriously considering sending my youngest to Kinder for public school because she does enjoy being around people and peers and I felt like she would really thrive there. It just didn't work for us for this year because of my work schedule and she is doing great at home.

But, the main thing I wanted to say was this, you don't necessarily have to "lose a lot of the benefits of being a homeschooling family - the ability to go places during the school year, not having to deal with the daily peer pressure stuff (we would still socialize them and all but ti's not the same as being away from the home the majority of each day)."

Once your son starts public school, you will see that even if they miss weeks at a time, they really aren't missing anything at all. In the whole scheme of life and your family relationships, missing weeks of school even several times a year is not going to make a difference in your son's education. So you can still take a vacation at the end of September when everyone else has gone back to school. And you can do it again in December, April, or whenever you want. The family time spent together, the natural learning, exploration, and exposure to new experiences will benefit your son's education far more than the little bits of fragmented learning that would be accomplished in the classroom during that absence.

Same with the daily peer pressure stuff he will be experiencing. Public school will shape him differently and he will adapt and grow to thrive in that environment. It would be naive to think different learning environments aren't going to shape personality and influence day to day interactions and relationships. But, it doesn't have to be a negative influence. And when pressure is too much or he needs some down time, nothing says that he can't stay home. I think being willing to be flexible with public school attendance can make a big difference with success.

[MrsH]

This is our first year homeschooling my eldest daughter.  My son is in public kindergarten.  He sounds similar to your son in some ways, and there was just no way I could envision having him at home with me all the time.  He is LOVING being at school, is making friends, is keeping up great with the work and learning things that he's resisted learning from me.  I think it's absolutely the right place for him now.

Yes, my heart breaks a little bit when he returns the pink sticker that his little sister picked out for him at the doctor's office, saying that he just can't wear it at school.  Or when he comes home and seems withdrawn (that happened the other day, I was SO sad).  On the positive side though, it's helped me to make more of a point of doing things together that he enjoys. He seems to enjoy our time together in a way that he didn't used to.  As his language is (finally) exploding, we're able to talk about a lot of the things going on for him at school.  I'm hopeful that being raised in a home with 2 sisters will help counter some of the crazy cultural boy things.

As he's developing and growing, I'm seeing glimpses of the big kid he's going to be.  I like those glimpses, and wonder if homeschooling might work in another year or so. 

We do lose some of the flexibility that we would have had if he wasn't in school.  But with his soaring self-confidence, exploding language, and joy on his face as he heads into school, it's totally worth it.

Lastly, I see all of our schooling as a year by year arrangement.  If school becomes a struggle, we can pull him out.  If his confidence suffers more from being in school than outside of school, he'll come home.  If he asks to come home, we can talk about that and have him stay home.  Nothing is permanent, and as long as I keep that in the forefront of my mind, I feel pretty good about our choices.

[Stardustmom]

Once your son starts public school, you will see that even if they miss weeks at a time, they really aren't missing anything at all. In the whole scheme of life and your family relationships, missing weeks of school even several times a year is not going to make a difference in your son's education. So you can still take a vacation at the end of September when everyone else has gone back to school. And you can do it again in December, April, or whenever you want. The family time spent together, the natural learning, exploration, and exposure to new experiences will benefit your son's education far more than the little bits of fragmented learning that would be accomplished in the classroom during that absence.

Same with the daily peer pressure stuff he will be experiencing. Public school will shape him differently and he will adapt and grow to thrive in that environment. It would be naive to think different learning environments aren't going to shape personality and influence day to day interactions and relationships. But, it doesn't have to be a negative influence. And when pressure is too much or he needs some down time, nothing says that he can't stay home. I think being willing to be flexible with public school attendance can make a big difference with success.

Unfortunately it doesn't work this way with public schools...

If you miss 5 days of public school without excused absence (family vacation  and your child needing down time is not an excused absence) the truancy officer will be at your door. Otherwise a lot of people would homeschool part time.

[beckington]

Originally Posted by Stardustmom 

Unfortunately it doesn't work this way with public schools...

If you miss 5 days of public school without excused absence (family vacation  and your child needing down time is not an excused absence) the truancy officer will be at your door. Otherwise a lot of people would homeschool part time.

Not with all public schools. I know plenty of people who take their kids out of school for family vacations or just random days to play hookie. I also know people who do homeschool part-time and send their kids to school part-time. It just depends on the school.

OP - I try to remember that no decision needs to be forever, so if you think one child would thrive homeschooling and the other would thrive goigpoing to school, why not try it and see how it goes? Personally as much as I would prefer to homeschool I would send my kid to school if it seemed to be ideal for him - and then be prepared to take him out of school if it ended up NOT being ideal!
 

[Imakcerka]

This is true, when I home schooled in Jr High, I was allowed to go to the school for electives and tutoring.  I went to choir, P.E. and Home EC.  It was fun and everyone hated that I got to show up in the morning and be outta there by 9am.  LOVED IT! 

Originally Posted by beckington 

Not with all public schools. I know plenty of people who take their kids out of school for family vacations or just random days to play hookie. I also know people who do homeschool part-time and send their kids to school part-time. It just depends on the school.

OP - I try to remember that no decision needs to be forever, so if you think one child would thrive homeschooling and the other would thrive goigpoing to school, why not try it and see how it goes? Personally as much as I would prefer to homeschool I would send my kid to school if it seemed to be ideal for him - and then be prepared to take him out of school if it ended up NOT being ideal!
 

Both of my girls were homeschooled for half the year last year.  The school can't do anything about that.  I can continuously put them in and take them out all I want.  Gotta love Texas!  At this point both girls want to remain because they love their teachers and their classes.  DD2 never wants to leave school again because she loves being there and having her own friends, plus she's top of the totem pole while at home she's still our baby.  DD1 would be happier at home sitting with her daddy on the back porch talking about clouds.  Just as long as she got to see her best friend every once in awhile. 

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by Stardustmom 

Unfortunately it doesn't work this way with public schools...

If you miss 5 days of public school without excused absence (family vacation  and your child needing down time is not an excused absence) the truancy officer will be at your door. 

My kids' public school works that way. My dd missed two months during her first year of school for a trip to Asia and 10 days the next year for a family holiday. My teens missed Thursday and Friday last week to go on a trip with their (non-school-affiliated) youth choir and will miss another 9 days in May for another trip.

It depends on your jurisdiction, the funding model, the school district, the school and open-mindedness of individual staff members in interpreting the term "excused."

Miranda

[eplatt]

I know with our school district, if you're going on vacation for a week or more, they will switch you over to their home study program for the time you are gone. So still enrolled at the same school, but just switching to their homestudy program and taking school work with you when you will be out of school. I know that was just one of your concerns, but still doable if flexiblity is an important goal for your family.

[Mizelenius]

Your kids are VERY young.  I think it's hard to make a decision now!

I tried one in/one out and it was definitely tough.  However, part of that is because we even though we are not in a rural area, the things we'd want to participate in were far.  Thus, we had to turn down many activities because of having to pick up my DD in school and/or get her there on time.  If you have a lot going on nearby, this won't be an issue.

My other big obstacle was the age difference.  I keep having more kids and we have zero help nearby.  Activities (again, usually far) that would be great for my oldest would be impossible with my younger ones.  I found I did them all on the weekend instead.  Your children are so close together that if you hs them both, it won't be an issue.

The kids have both missed 5 consecutive days due to vacation and it was not an issue (more would have been OK), but like the pp said, it depends.  In Chicago (when I taught), if gone MORE than 5 days, the child would have to re-enroll.  However, that was what the admin threatened but I do not think it was ever actually carried out.  The reason they do it is because the school looks bad w/poor attendance.