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2 y/o screaming all day long

post #1 of 44
Thread Starter 

It's non-stop from when she wakes up until she goes to bed! Doesn't matter how much attention I give her she just flips out all day about everything!

 

IDK how to handle it! I try to avoid it if at all possible and I try to manage it when it does happen (fix the problem, nurse, offer hugs, let her get it out of her system, talk through her feelings)

 

She flips out about everything. If she wants food she flips out non stop even as I am preparing it our getting it for her, same with drinks. She will be sitting on my lap and flipping out saying she wants me...it's just non-stop and over everything!

 

She will flip out to go into the car then flip out about having to sit in the car seat...

 

I try to give her options and talk about how mommy doesn't like it when she gets so worked up

 

Any tips?

post #2 of 44

Is she getting molars?  I ask because I have been frustrated with my screaming 13mo and then suddenly realized she's teething hard.  I'm anti meds, but broke down and gave her some tylenol and she's a totally different (and super sweet) baby. 

post #3 of 44

Heh - I just commented on your "eat too much?" thread. And you're going to think I see the world through a food allergy lens. And I totally admit that I do.

 

Have you considered a food allergy or sensitivity?

 

Corn is the first one that comes to mind.

 

For example, our friends' daughter was a crazy child - unable to control behavior, unable to sit still, tantrum at the slightest provocation, waking at night for several HOURS (cheerful and playful)...and they initially pinned it down to "any sugar or refined flour after 12 noon would cause night waking."  BUT, when they finally gave up ALL CORN = new child. Sleeps through the night. Normal attention span for a 3-yr-old. Listens to instruction, redirects easily.

 

The child has had a history of food sensitivities throughout infancy and childhood. Gluten was another one that changed her behavior for the better when it was eliminated.

post #4 of 44
Thread Starter 

We have done hardcore elimination diets! We are currently corn, soy, and dairy free, we have been gluten, beef, tomato, lentil, nut, and strawberry free as well.

 

She has always been very high needs and intense and she suffered a lot of vax reactions in the past. we have done homeopathy to heal from the vaxs.

post #5 of 44

Well, then. More power to you for eliminating corn. I think that is darn near impossible, and I don't wish a corn sensitivity on anyone.

 

Would you consider floral essences (Bach's Rescue Remedy is a well-known one)? There is a member who does consults and creates custom blends.

 

http://www.pediatrichomeopathy.com/p/custom-blends.html

 

post #6 of 44
Thread Starter 

Her pedi is a homeopath. She gave us something to combat HiB b/c she thinks that has a lot to do with her behavior...but she seems to be getting worse and worse. Even if it ends up healing her I still need effective ways to deal with the situation at hand KWIM?

post #7 of 44

Consistency is key.  Pick one way to deal with the trantruming, and stick to it.  Every.single.time. The behavior you describe sounds like my son a year ago - he's very demanding for lack of a better word.  I do second the notion that she may be getting her 2yo molars, and for that I would do tylenol or motrin - those are miserable.  FWIW, my ds has no food sensitivities (but juice and chocolate milk which give him diarrhea so he doesn't get those), and no sn - he's just very demanding and maybe spirited. He's also SUPER argumentative, and his verbal skills are insane - he tries to negotiate every.single.little.detail.of.his.day. Literally. He's going to be a lawyer I think (both I and his dad are lawyers so it runs in the family). 

 

Good luck - so not fun!

post #8 of 44

Did it start all of a sudden, or has been a gradual buildup to this point?  Honestly, it sounds a lot like my DS, who was just diagnosed with autism.  Have you considered having her behavior assessed? 

post #9 of 44

Sounds like my DD who is a few months older than your LO.  My 2.5 year old has screaming fits if the wind changes direction at the wrong time lately.  I am hoping it is molars coming because when her first set were coming in she'd wake up screaming inconsolably in the middle of the night.  As for dealing with it, I do not know.  I could have written the post.  I am just trying to be consistent with her but that is tough because it feels like it is lasting forever.  Part of me thinks my DD is testing the waters in part to see what effect her behavior has on us.  No idea...

Hang in there mama.

post #10 of 44
Thread Starter 

Well she has always been a screamer/very HN/sensitive  a LOT of it had to do with vax reactions though and the pain she suffered for months and months b.c of them. She screamed 4-9hrs a day from 2m/o until 9 m/o!

 

When she turned 1 she calmed down a lot but was still more intense than other kids and cried a lot more. When she cries she SCREAMS she will go 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds!

 

We go to a ped regularly they haven't said anything about autism..

post #11 of 44

A good behavioral assessment would give you options for dealing with the crying, etc, while you are working on the healing.

 

You're looking for someone who can give you a functional analysis & a plan for dealing with the behavior(s). PP is right about consistency, no matter what route you choose.

 

When we have to, we give DS a "choice" and I very deliberately put that in quotes. If the situation warrants, his choice is between complying with our request or...going to his room or (trying to think a real example here so it doesn't sound like we're extreme parents)

 

We still help DS brush his teeth. DH calls this "teamwork" (a la Wonderpets). DS sometimes wants to do it all himself/rejects "help" or turn-taking.

 

DH - "You can have teamwork, or I will brush your teeth for you. Pick one."

 

I did the same with hair combing this morning. He wants to do it himself, but, of course, he can't get all the knots out.

 

Me - "Do you want to go first, or do you want me to go first? Pick one."

post #12 of 44

I still think it sounds like she isn't feeling well.  You've mentioned she's had vax reactions.  Maybe there is something residual giong on? 

post #13 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

 

When she turned 1 she calmed down a lot but was still more intense than other kids and cried a lot more. When she cries she SCREAMS she will go 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds!

 



Thats my kid too. And then when he's done, he's done and acts like nothing ever happened. Ridiculous. Consistency is key. It may take some time to figure out what works, and when trying different techniques give them 3-4 days to work. Pick one way of responding, and use it every single time for 3-4 days. If it seems to be working, continue - if not, pick the next one and use every single tantrum for 3-4 days. It takes time to get the tantrums to slow down, sometimes lot of time and patience and trying different tactics.

 

I would be hesitant to automatically assume it is something that needs healing, or something that is wrong with her physically - this is a pretty typical age to start testing boundaries and limits. If that is what she's doing, and she's been HN all along, the last thing you want is to make excuses for it and not set those boundaries and limits. She needs to know that the limits and boundaries are there, then test them, and then get over it (which she will, and then she won't test them as often - but when she does test them again and again the fact that they are there needs to be re-affirmed).  All of that can be done gently, but firmly. There are many different tactics to use, it just takes trying them out.

 

And, are you sure she's not teething? The 2yo molars took FOREVER with my ds, and they were horrific to get through. I'm not sure anyone would have survived if not for motrin and tylenol (used appropriately of course!).

post #14 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post
We go to a ped regularly they haven't said anything about autism..


Regular peds are not trained to recognize any but the most overt blatant signs of autism.  Unless they've had special training, your child would need to be pretty severely delayed for the average ped to think "autism".  Particularly if your child is verbal, most peds won't think autism.  My son has a huge vocabulary at 2, probably about 200 words.  But he's still autistic, which is not something his ped caught, it was something that I asked for a referral for, since I knew something wasn't "right" with his behavior (although I didn't think autism). 

 

And I'm not saying it is autism.  I'm saying that seeing a behavioral or developmentally trained ped could get you some answers, and possibly some help/solutions.  Because that much screaming, whether you know what caused it originally or not, is not normal.  And that amount of long-term pain can have it's own effects. 

 

post #15 of 44
Thread Starter 

So do I just ask for a referral to a behavioral ped? We have a holistic ped.

 

BTW the molars are coming! I purposely brushed back there tonight and she started crying so I asked if I could feel and she let me they are swollen. This is the last of her teeth now. I had some expired baby tylenol but I just threw it out and gave her Arnica Montana 30, Kids Relief teething remedy, and put teething relief oil on her cheeks. She passed out at 7 after stories and milkies :)

post #16 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

It's non-stop from when she wakes up until she goes to bed! Doesn't matter how much attention I give her she just flips out all day about everything!

 

IDK how to handle it! I try to avoid it if at all possible and I try to manage it when it does happen (fix the problem, nurse, offer hugs, let her get it out of her system, talk through her feelings)

 

She flips out about everything. If she wants food she flips out non stop even as I am preparing it our getting it for her, same with drinks. She will be sitting on my lap and flipping out saying she wants me...it's just non-stop and over everything!

 

Ok, my ds used to do this exact thing - seriously.  If he wanted eggs and I was cooking them - it was NOT ok!  They needed to be ready 5 minutes ago!

 

She will flip out to go into the car then flip out about having to sit in the car seat...

 

This too.  Seriously, I don't have a car but he would flip out over putting clothes on, then about going out the door, then about leaving the apartment building.  Then he was fine.  Drove me batty.

 

I try to give her options and talk about how mommy doesn't like it when she gets so worked up

 

Any tips?


Now, the question is - how long does this last? Honestly - is it every moment of the day, or do you have decent stretches of calm in between these freak outs?  With my DS the freakouts were usually related to a transition.  Play time to meal time, play time to bath time (this one is still hard), bathtime to bedtime (this one is still hard too - he hates going to bed), playtime to going shopping, etc.  If there wasn't a transition coming up, he was fine.  If we weren't in a transition, he was fine.  If this is more what is going on (reading your posts it sounds like it - but I could be off I'm not familiar with your previous posts about your dd.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

 

BTW the molars are coming! I purposely brushed back there tonight and she started crying so I asked if I could feel and she let me they are swollen. This is the last of her teeth now. I had some expired baby tylenol but I just threw it out and gave her Arnica Montana 30, Kids Relief teething remedy, and put teething relief oil on her cheeks. She passed out at 7 after stories and milkies :)


If she's teething and getting those killer 2yo molars (which are TORTURE - they had my DS is major amounts of pain!), then if could be partly b/c she's tired from not sleeping well due to pain - which the 7pm bedtime tonight definitely supports - and partly due to being in pain at various times throughout the day.  Not necessarily due to anything that needs healing, or any special needs.  2yo is a challenging age since she is realizing that she is her own person and isn't part of you, and she is starting to assert some independence and test boundaries BIG TIME.

 

post #17 of 44

Is she getting plenty of outdoor, run around time? Two year olds often NEED to be very physical to burn that energy. If they don't get it, that energy comes out in screaming and tantrums.


How is her sleep? If DD is under slept at all she is a totally different child. She will be 2 next month and needs 12 hours overnight + another 2 hours at nap to be her cheerful self.

 

post #18 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennybear View Post

Is she getting plenty of outdoor, run around time? Two year olds often NEED to be very physical to burn that energy. If they don't get it, that energy comes out in screaming and tantrums.


How is her sleep? If DD is under slept at all she is a totally different child. She will be 2 next month and needs 12 hours overnight + another 2 hours at nap to be her cheerful self.

 



I also agree with all of this.  Especially the outdoor playtime - that is SO important for toddlers. They have SO much energy!

post #19 of 44

Is there any yelling in the household at all?

 

At 2 they realize they have a voice and don't "have" to do everything their told.  Perhaps the emotions are out of control and she needs help communicating differently, or maybe she has seen yelling (which translates to screaming to a 2 year old) by anyone in the household or family?

post #20 of 44
Thread Starter 

A few weeks ago. We have a "no fighting" in front of the baby rule but she was sleeping in the car and we were arguing over DH going to a bar and not telling me and me worried sick b/c he was suppose to be home at 10 and didn't show up until 2:30 am...DD woke up and we stopped but it may have effected her...

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