Refuses to sit on the potty- what to do?

[iheartwren]

My DD is 33 months (so getting pretty darn close to 3) and absolutely refuses to sit on the potty.  We have had the potty around for over a year and she is gone from very interested, to not interested, to absolutely hating it.  We don't force her to sit it on it. We say it is time to sit on the potty and she says NO!  or starts screaming or running away and then we say OK and move on.  She hates having accidents but this just causes her to hold it as long as she possibly can and then pee an incredible amount all over the floor causing even more anxiety.  She has never once actually got any pee in the potty.  We have tried diaper free weeks in August with no success and tried again recently but we feel kind of stuck because we can't even convince her to sit on the potty let alone go in it.  Any suggestions?

[dakotablue]

I'm sorry. Only advice is what my grandmother told me, "Put them on backwards" I've noticed a huge difference in DS1 when I did this. He seems to be much more stable and not afraid of falling in. Maybe that has something to do with her fear?

(Oh and this is in addition to potty seat)

[cristeen]

Have you tried sitting her on the toilet?  Is she more open to that? 

How about putting her in the bathtub to pee?  If she's willing to tell you she needs to go, that is.

Or offer her a small bucket or bowl she can squat over, if that's more accessible to her. 

If she doesn't like / is afraid of the potty, there are other options.  It doesn't have to be something marketed as a potty, it just has to be a way of catching the pee. 

[ArcticRose]

I don't have any suggestions.. in fact this is one of the questions I came here to ask. Our DD will be three in less than 2 months and she is completely dependent on diapers. What is really sad is she was doing really good until 5 months ago. Just before her sister was born she decided to stop using the potty and she hasn't gone back to using it yet. If we try naked time, she just pees all over every thing. It's so frustrating because I know she knows how to use the potty, she just doesn't want to do it. I have been trying really really hard to not let my frustration show... but it's making me crazy!

These days, she gets upset if I even ask her if her diaper is poopy.

Sorry I don't have any helpful suggestions, but I thought you might like to know you aren't alone.

[mamazee]

My older one as like this. Personally, I would disengage and put her back in diapers. This is probably more about control than the potty. If you give her control, she will probably stop liking the feeling of wet diapers and use the potty before too long.

Kids have absolute control about intake (eating), output  (potty), and sleep, and they know it. If they're going to have a power struggle in those areas, the more you can disengage, the better off you are, because you can't win - you can't force someone to eat, poop, or sleep.

Option 2, which still gives her the power, is to put her in underwear, keep the clean underwear in a drawer in the bathroom, put a hamper in the bathroom, and tell her that she can use the potty or change her wet/dirty underpants herself, and take care of the mess.

I would personally go with #1, but my mom tells me she went with #2 with me, and I was using the potty within a day or two. (The #1 and #2 are not intended to be puns. LOL)

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

My daughter was like this, and bribery worked. First, I just started working on getting her to sit on the potty at all. Then it was 1 sticker for sitting on the potty, 2 stickers for potty with no pants, 3 stickers for potty with no diaper. She would actually consider and choose what she was comfortable with, plus with stickers she got to decorate her potty. After a few weeks of this she was pretty comfortable sitting on the potty frequently and we started working on getting her to use it.

Potty training has been a long drawn out process for us, unfortunately, but we haven't had any giant regressions and it hasn't been traumatic. Eventually the rewards phase out and she doesn't need them anymore.