We saw the specialist yesterday. It was....eh. (btw, the specialist is a developmental behavioral pediatrician...one of the only ones in our area)
He is questioning whether ds really has adhd or not. He said the adhd medication ds is on (metadate cd 5 mg) isn't doing anything to help. He wants him to go to a special needs preschool for at least 2-3 months and see how he does with different adults being in charge and different rules to follow. If he still behaves like how he does with us, then he said that will give us more of an idea of what's going on with him. He did say that ds's behavior is atypical.
Ds wouldn't do anything the dr. asked. He wouldn't talk. He refused to come into the room and then when he did, he walked really really slowly. The dr. noticed that things have to be on ds's terms (although we try to NOT have it that way).
I told him about how ds freaks out in public and how things have to be just right and how we try to predict what will set him off, and how we didn't know what was causing that. He said that if you talked to a bunch of different specialists, they could all say it was something different. He said an OT would say it's sensory stuff. A psychiatrist would say it's adhd. His point is that we don't know for sure.
And as for the aggression and impulsiveness, which is our biggest concern, he said there is a non-stimulant medication called Tenex, or Intuniv, that has been approved for adhd and it helps the aggression, but not inattention. I don't think ds has a problem with inattention though, so that part doesn't really matter. He said it's up to us if we want to try the medication or not though. It's one that our pediatrician had thought we could try with ds, but she wasn't comfortable prescribing it since ds is so young still. I've been reading about it online tonight, and it seems to really help kids. I think I do want to try it, but I might wait till after his evaluation with child find. I'm hoping at Child Find that they say he qualifies for the preschool and that he can hopefully start going to that soon. That evaluation is December 1st.
Also, I kind of got the idea that he thought there might not be anything wrong, but that ds could just be more anxious, emotional, and compulsive. I think he used those words too. But then other times he mentioned how ds's behavior was atypical. :/ I also felt like he thought it could be our parenting because he mentioned how he thought ds runs the show at home. But then I've been assured from other people that it's not our parenting....it's good to have people from the outside look and actually SEE us parent him and say that to us. I feel a little defensive...we don't try to let him run the show. We have rules and we enforce those. We are doing the best we possibly can.
I guess I'm a little disappointed. There were three things I thought he might say:
1. ds does have adhd and this is typical adhd behavior.
2. ds has adhd, along with something else.
3. ds doesn't have adhd, but has this other thing instead.
And instead he said, send him to preschool, see how he does, if he still has problems, then we'll look more and see what it is, and oh, i have no idea if he does actually have adhd. :/ And I'm not saying that what he said doesn't make sense. It does actually. I just...I don't know. It's hard to go from thinking and researching for 4.5 months that he DOES have adhd and medicating him for it, to go to having no idea what's going on. And that kind of sucks.
So, I just thought I'd share. I guess I just have to keep moving along in the process. If anyone has any thoughts, feel free to share. And thanks for listening too. :)