I was on the ICAN yahoo group for my local area. They were over the top in to one particular doctor. Members of the group would convince women that they needed to drive hours for this OB even for a vba1c. If anyone suggested going to a different doctor, the women would jump all over them about needing to be with this one particular doctor. They would say he was the only one that could be trusted for hours away. And if you dare shared something negative, no matter what it was, a person would be jumped. And sent private messages and even threats of lawsuits for sharing. I was personally put on moderate for telling about my bad experience. I said nothing more on that group than I said here.Â
Â
I was attacked openly on the group. I was told that the problems I had with the doctor were my fault. I was sent private messages attacking me. Fortunately, I was also defended on the group a little bit and received a fair number of private messages supporting me.Â
Â
The point I am getting at is, on a group like that, where everyone is hyper focused on one doctor to the point where the group is about that doctor and not about vbacs so much, a person can end up in a bad situation. I would have left that doctor sooner except if I went for help or guidance from that "support group" I was chastised and everything was explained away. I was left to feel like a defect for seeing those red flags along the way. (red flags like the OB appointments being 6-8 weeks apart, the doctor was caught going out of town 2 times during my pregnancy by me leaving no one on call...one time I had a fever with contractions and the other time I had a UTI, both had to be treated by a doctor from a different practice because the OB left no one on call, and his refusal to do the glucose tolerance test...I ended up likely having undiagnosed gestational diabetes, etc). In the end, when I went in to labor and did not progress, the OB refused to see me, admit it, examine me, or anything. After more than 40 hrs of labor, in such extreme pain that I could not function or cope anymore, I ended up being admitted to the hospital by a doctor from a different practice who did an emergency csect on me. She said after the section that I was rupturing and the baby and I would not have lived. The OB told me he would see me on Monday, but refused to see me on that Saturday. I posted the story in more detail here on another post. The OB always hid behind other people for his mistakes. But in this case, the case of the birth, he admitted to telling the on-call OB to turn me away. He admitted to knowing of my calls and what was going on. Thing is, once things were clearly not going well, he turned me away. He abandoned me as a patient. Reality is, the signs were there all along that he was going to do this. The signs were there all along that he was not a competent doctor. I looked back over people's birth stories who delivered with him and were happy. They all were completely intervention free and did not need it. They did not even have pain killers. I am happy for them that they wanted a natural birth and all went fine and they got what they wanted. But they might as well have had an unassisted childbirth. Because with that OB, he could not or would not recognize the signs of complications. He was not willing, or not capable, of checking me out when things went wrong. Because of this, he would be a horrible choice for a VBAC OB, or really, any OB.Â
Â
Being told it was my fault that things went how they did caused me a lot of grief and emotional distress. To add to it, I stayed with that bad OB because I was pushed and bullied by people at the group. I noticed at the end of my pregnancy that the group was not at all about vbacs or csects, but rather just about that one OB. I had been in a vbac support group years ago. In that group, we talked about how to have a successful vbac and what things increased your chances of a csect and so on. I learned so much from the vbac group I was in years ago. THAT should be the focus of any vbac support group. Â I have heard from a few women now who have been on ICAN groups elsewhere (not the one I was on) where the focus is on a specific provider and not on vbacs or csects.Â
Â
I wanted to put this warning out there because I do not want any other woman to go through what I went through. Having a vbac is a wonderful thing. I have had 3 successful vbacs myself. I definitely feel vbacs are safer than csects for both mom and baby. But my baby almost died and so did I because I gave in to the pressures of that group to stay with that bad doctor. So, if you are on a support group and they seem to spend all their time worshipping one or two providers like this, and spend very little time actually educating on how to have a vbac or anything vbac/csect related, you may want to leave the group. There are places to get excellent information and support for a vbac without the pressure and bullying that happens in some groups. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and leave the group if that happens.
 And also to put it out there that its true, not all birth support groups are created equal, so if anyone is feeling put off by one, try to find another.
