Here's the backstory:
My ds, 7, used to be best friends with the boy who lives across the street. But, they seem to have had a falling out about a year or more ago. I asked my son what happened, but he doesn't know. The boy just seemed to taper off coming over to play, and wouldn't stop his computer games or television to play with ds, and when he did he was very negative in their games, saying things like "No, you're doing it wrong" and "no, that's not what happens next" to whatever ds suggested in their imgainative games. Since then, his mom needed us to take care of him & his sister after school, when she was training for a new job, after a long period of unemployment, since she's divorced and her ex was unable to help out. We had them over at our house for 3 to 5 hours a day, 3 or 4 days a week, for a few months. Then, when the mom's training period was over, she suddenly decided that her kids would be fine alone after school, and they went home to their house. I tried to keep an eye on them as much as possible, and she got a roommate, a young man who was there some of the time to help watch them. I invited them over, but they both preferred to stay home with their screens, since computer time is monitored and limited here, and we have no TV. So, I just chalked it up to differing personalities, and encourage ds to invite other friends over.
Where we are today:
Almost every time ds has a friend over, this neigbor boy comes over to join the fun. Some are friends of his, also, and some are not. He might come over for a few minutes to show off a new toy, once a week or less, unless my ds has a friend over, then he's here for the whole time. Tonight he stayed for dinner, and then until bedtime. My ds does not seem to mind, but I am feeling used by the boy. Ds usually takes the neigbor's side in games, rather than his newer friends. I try to encourge them to play games without sides, but even in legos, or whatever they're playing, but it always comes to them play battling. Or else, the neighbor will join sides with the guest, leaving out ds. This child is a very quiet boy, around adults; very much the rule follower, especially compared to his older sister's misbehavior at home and at school. I can't talk to his mom about it, really, because she is upset with me for questioning her when she left the kids alone at home for a couple of hours during the night. When I asked her about the falling out that the boys had last year, she just laughed it off with a "kids will be kids, I have no idea why he acts like he does or what he is thinking" and dropped it.
So, what do I do: just let things play out, or talk with the neighbor mom about it, or talk with the boy? I really don't want to point out to ds that his friend seems to be using him, as ds seems oblivious to it so far.
Thanks for any wisdom you can offer.