Thank you!
Edited by jstpmm - 11/18/11 at 5:26pm
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I would have called 911 at the time if I felt the baby was in immediate danger. Since it wasn't reported that moment, it is probably a child protective services issue more than a police issue now. I am a mandated reporter and so would be required to report it, regardless of what I thought it would make me look like.
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In my state your privacy would be protected unless it went to court. If they were willing to do it in front of you guys, I would guess you are not the only ones who have seen it, so they may not immediately know who reported it. You can also report anonymously.Â
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Alternately, if you have a good relationship with them (I would guess not really, or you would have already considered this approach) you or your husband could tell mom and/or step-dad directly that it really scared you and ask if there is anything you could do to help them -- if they need another car seat, if they need different carseats to fit three in the back, if it would help for you to drive the step-kids home until they figure out a safer option...
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I'm a step-parent within a moderately high conflict co-parenting relationship, and I think I still would have brought it up as diplomatically as possible with my step-kids mom or step-dad. But I (a) can't imagine them doing that, especially not in front of me and my husband, and (b) know that I would not be putting my own safety at risk by bringing it up,,, at worst I'd be "yelled at" by email, possibly in person, or ignored. I know that's not the worst-case-scenario for everyone, so sometimes the direct approach isn't a safe one.