Is it normal to cry every day? I am so overwhelmed with my 3 week old baby. I am a mess.

[vancitymom]

Any one else feel the same?

[HeliMom]

I couldn't read and not reply.

I had Post partum depression.  It was serious. I don't know if you have it, but crying daily isn't something you should have to suffer through.  You said you felt overwhelmed,  are getting any help from family and friends? 

The lack of sleep with a newborn is tough but temporary.  You have to also take care of yourself. Try to sleep when baby sleeps, make sure you are eating and drinking enough especially if you are breastfeeding.  Try to get outside  each day even if it's just for a few minutes in a chair.  Talk to your Doctor at the well baby visit, they can help direct you if you would benefit from a therapist.

Don't feel ashamed. It's ok to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. You are not a bad mommy just because you aren't happy about being a mommy 24/7.     You don't have to deal with this alone.

[IzzyTheTerrible]

I felt this way when my nephew (was 6 months old) came to stay with us, and I didn't even have the hormonal changes associated with giving birth, and I wasn't breastfeeding, and he only woke up 3-4x a night till he got settled in.

My husband felt the same way.  We were very supportive, but had a really rough go at adjusting.  I can't tell you how many sleepless nights lead me to just sitting and holding him while I sat on his bedroom floor just SOBBING while he cried.  

I felt like I would never sleep again.  I felt like my life was invaded by a little alien.  I felt like my husband and I would never get a free moment of alone time again.  I have to quit school, but first finish the semester and I felt discouraged and alone.

And *I* had the pleasure of being able to experience the smiles and giggles that make it all worth while.  You haven't gotten there yet, but you will, and it really does make it worth it.

Babies change your entire world, but things do get better.  Like the PP said, be sure to sleep when baby sleeps, even if you don't feel tired at the time.  Be sure to eat, be sure you're taking your vitamins, and if you feel like crying, do it.  Then try to focus on the positives, and take things one day at a time. 

[Maurine]

Everything that's been said above is true. I just wanted to post that it does get better! Check in with your midwife or doctor about post partum depression....but know that I too cried a lot in the first weeks...they were some of the most trying times I've ever faced. Everything got better slowly but surely though.

[TheDivineMrsM]

I cried a lot. Having a baby feels like an earthquake hit your life. When you mix sleep deprivation, post-partum hormones, and a heaping dose of fear together, it's a powerful combination. Crying becomes a welcome release. For me, it got better once BFing became a little easier - maybe a month or so? Even then I still cried once in awhile. 

But. 

If it affects your ability to care for your child, or if you have thoughts of hurting them or yourself, please seek help immediately. 

[schoonersam]

Oh yeah. Totally feel the same. And I agree with all the PP's. And I don't know what you did in your life before, but, in my job, I was responsible for the lives of 70 people on a daily basis, and caring for this little person was (and is) more difficult and overwhelming than that - even WITH the support of my wonderful husband and parents. There is nothing to make you feel so inept like having a baby.   Which is ridiculous because you got this far! I mean pregnancy isnt exactly easy as pie either.

So yeah, crying every day is not out of the ordinary, in fact as one poster said, it can help you release some of the stress.  And I have totally had those episodes (and still do about once every two weeks or so) where the baby's crying and I'm sobbing and I'm carrying her around the house with both of us howling and the poor puppy is looking at us with utter confusion.

Some coping tools:

like the other posters have said, reach out for help.  I am not great at asking for help so I just had to suck it up and ask and it really did help.  Just to have some one hold the baby while I went back to sleep or bring me a glass of water (or chocolate ice cream).

But a couple other things for me were to have a realistic idea for what a day would encompass...and sometimes that was just feeding the baby, feeding myself (pre-made smoothie in a bottle is SUPER handy), having a good poop (both of us), and getting some sleep.  And also not to get upset and feel like I was screwing up if I didn't sleep when baby slept (cause maybe that meant I could eat in peace, or shower) - I definitely felt pressure from my wonderful support team if I wasn't down the instant she was too.

And then the most important was to NOT JUDGE MYSELF.  I kind of think that if DD is alive & well at the "end" of the day, then I kicked ass.

Good luck and keep posting here!