Along with everything said above, how much does she read and listen to pro storytellers? Encourage her to read stories from different authors, and go listen to some professional storytellers if you can. When reading a story/book, or actually, short stories might be best, since that's what she is wanting to write, read the story as if it were a guidebook. Point out how the author sets the scene, and how the written story might vary from the oral story (e.g. with a verbal story, you might change the voice or otherwise make it obvious that someone else is speaking, but with a written story, it is sometimes better to actually state who is speaking, i.e. "I think cats are cool, sarah stated.")
I know that one of the hang ups that I faced when writing was that I wanted to begin every story with something similar to "Once upon a time." I didn't realize that it's easier to set the scene if you jump right into it, as opposed to telling readers "ok, i'm going to start the story now."