Wiping after using the bathroom?

[Skippy918]

At what age should a child be capable of wiping themselves after using the bathroom? I was chatting with the other moms in DS's daycare class (kids are 3 and just turning 3), and apparently the teacher is not helping them wipe unless they ask. Once or twice DS has come home with poop stains on his underwear. my son thinks he's capable of cleaning himself but he's not so he doesn't ask for help. I think in this age group, the teacher should just check without making them ask.

[Nicole730]

Our son is 3 and his teachers will not help wipe either.  They are not allowed to.  I do think 3 is too young though, I definitely want to make sure DS gets all clean.  I think we will teach him how sometime near his 4th birthday.  I feel like everything about him wiping his own butt is quite unsanitary.  I'm sure it would get on his hands and then who knows how well he would wash them...ick.  Fortunately he usually goes before school, so I am pretty sure it won't be an issue at school.  I know I should teach him now just in case he has to go at school, but I'm afraid he will start wiping himself at home and I don't want to deal with the mess.

[Skippy918]

Nicole-they're not allowed to help? At his daycare they should be allowed to since there are still some kids with diapers. My son has tried to wipe himself at home and got it all over his hands. Yuck.

[Nicole730]

He's not in daycare, he's in preschool.  There is a daycare there though and his teachers told me that if he really needed help, they could have one of the daycare teachers come over because they are allowed to wipe butts.  If your child is still in a diaper for this preschool, then the parents have to stay in the building in case a diaper change is needed.

[Peony]

I feel like I am still wiping butts until they are 1st grade age. They can do years before but not very well. They can't help at preschool here either, it really hasn't been an issue for us. We just wipe well when they get home. 

[One_Girl]

My dd was wiping independently at three.  There were the occasional stains but it really wasn't a big deal.  I considered it part of the learning process just like accidents are part of the process for potty training. 

[lifeguard]

I had ds start wiping shortly after he pl'ed at 22 months - I think it was shortly after his 2nd bday. I still (at 3) wipe after to make sure but really 90% of the time he does a fine job himself.

[pianojazzgirl]

We taught dd to wipe so that she would be ready for school (pre-K).  So she would have been a couple months shy of 4.

Ds turned 4 in Oct and has just decided that he would prefer to wipe himself (it's a "big boy" independence thing).  I would be fine to keep on wiping him since I do a better job and he won't start school till next Sept, but I'm happy that he took the initiative to learn himself.   FWIW I do give him a bath or clean his bottom with a wet cloth before bed every night.

I find young 3 (or not quite 3) to be pretty young to have to manage wiping.  I'm glad I didn't need my kids to wipe at that age.  I hope the preschool is very good about having them wash hands.

[Baby_Cakes]

DD is 3 and can wipe after pee but not poo.   She doesn't always go independently either -- I suppose this is something we'll need to address before preschool.  I thought the teachers would assist with clothes and wiping.

[Nicole730]

Ours will assist with clothing.  Unfortunately, I think it's just a liability thing. 

And those of you having your 2-3 year olds wiping poo, I don't know that I would want to do that!   Maybe by my 3rd child it'll be fine. :)

[Mylie]

Mine just turned 4..She goes to prechool and daycare..They both assist..They wear gloves to help but the child has to ask...I buy childrens flushable wipes to help with this alot..I also give them to the school.But I can always tell when she forgets and tries to wipe herself.Her arms aren't long enough to yet reach around and properly do the job right..I had to talk with the daycare a few times when she was 3 for not assisting and she would come home with lots of poop in her undies and itching like crazy..I had to talk with the preschool once.I also agree that it is a learning process hence providing the wipes but when their arms aren't long enough to do the job properly I think they need that extra help.

[treehugz]

Dd is 3.5.  She wipes pee, but not poo.  I think you have to balance learning with cleanliness here.  Just like I let dd wash the dishes, but always supervise closely and then go back over all the dishes again... and the floor... and the chair... and then change her soaking clothes, lol.  But she is learning.  Every now and then we give dd the opportunity to wipe poo (when she has an interest) and she's not able to get clean enough to do it by herself yet.  Sometimes she forgets and wipes in the wrong direction.  Most of the time she doesn't get more the half of the poo wiped... sometimes none.  Sometimes she gets it on her hands, and sometimes from the hands to the toilet to the counter and sink.  She can pee and wash hands pretty independently, but when she poos she calls for mom or dad to come assist.  No way would unsupervised wiping poo on her own work around here!

:)

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by treehugz 

Dd is 3.5.  She wipes pee, but not poo.  I think you have to balance learning with cleanliness here.  Just like I let dd wash the dishes, but always supervise closely and then go back over all the dishes again... and the floor... and the chair... and then change her soaking clothes, lol.  But she is learning.  Every now and then we give dd the opportunity to wipe poo (when she has an interest) and she's not able to get clean enough to do it by herself yet.  Sometimes she forgets and wipes in the wrong direction.  Most of the time she doesn't get more the half of the poo wiped... sometimes none.  Sometimes she gets it on her hands, and sometimes from the hands to the toilet to the counter and sink.  She can pee and wash hands pretty independently, but when she poos she calls for mom or dad to come assist.  No way would unsupervised wiping poo on her own work around here!

:)

Yup, this is totally how I feel too.  There's a learning curve here, and sure they have to practice to learn, but they just aren't old enough to not be supervised yet!

[Bearsmom]

My 4 yo DS is totally not interested in wiping. He goes to preK a few hours in the morning and has never had to make a BM at school. I think he would hold it if he had to 

The do not assist at his school either. I better get "cracking" on this one!

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by Bearsmom 

My 4 yo DS is totally not interested in wiping. He goes to preK a few hours in the morning and has never had to make a BM at school. I think he would hold it if he had to 

The do not assist at his school either. I better get "cracking" on this one!

That's a good point -- DD will usually hold poo if we are out and about all day, as well.  I suppose of we did send her to pre-k for just a few hours a few times a week, her having to poo would be rare.

[Maiasaura]

Wow, 3 and 4, really? My almost 11yo ds was not even remotely interested in his ownself until like...6 or 7? I tried to get him to do it, but no way would he even go there. I guess he didn't go, back in daycare, or else he got helped, I don't know. It was a home daycare and the woman who ran it was like 75 and had been doing this for generations. She probably helped.

Even now...he wipes himself, and has for some time now (thank the gods!) but he uses a metric ton of TP, and a wet wipe to "make sure", and even still, sometimes wants me to "check" to make sure he got it all. He's really...well, pardon the pun, but, totally anal about his cleanliness back there!

[lucifugous]

I agree that at that age, wiping help should be expected. Then again, if I was overseeing ten kids while some go to the bathroom, I'm not sure I would get to it if the kid didn't ask. Does that sound terrible? ...I'd be within range of the door that I could hear, but I probably wouldn't try to oversee the potty at all times, Maybe my view is a little slanted because my daughter is three and a half. In any case, a great opportunity to explain to the kids, how to wipe and how to ask if they can't! Edit: nonetheless, I wipe after poop when she's at home. She certainly poops at least 2-3 times a week at daycare, but only came home with any poop stains a few times when she was younger.

[meemee]

i have seen the average expected age is 5 when you start K.

for dd it was 8 - almost 9. if i was home she'd yell for me. she still sometimes does when she has a messy one. 

she is grossed out by poop, deathly afraid she will get some on her fingers. the best thing for her is a bidet. she uses that at her dads so she hasnt needed help from him since she was 3. 

[Polliwog]

I've taught threes and most kids can do a decent job. I've wiped kids once in a while but not often. My DD started wiping when she potty trained at 2 1/2. I've only helped her once or twice. DS squats on the toilet seat (he doesn't like the water splash on his bottom) so he doesn't get much of anything to wipe.

[riverundine]

DD1 was opposed to self-wiping, out of disgust.  She didn't want to touch it or get it on her fingers or hands.  More importantly for her, though, she didn't want to do an "incomplete" job.  We made a deal that I would wipe for her until her 5th birthday, which worked out fine for us.  DD2 would love if I let her wipe herself, but I just don't trust the e. coli getting too close to her yoni component - what with the short arms and all.  I'm afraid of her getting a uti or worse, a kidney infection, from a wrong way wipe, too.  She is not allowed to get off of the commode until mama comes to wipe...until I trust she's adept, or until she's 5.