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How much $ do you plan to spend per child THIS holiday season? - Page 6

post #101 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaMadly View Post



Yes, exactly.  There is no inherent virtue in poverty, or lack of it in any other state.  The virtue, the nobility, lies in handling one's resources -- and the decisions of others -- with grace and kindness.



I love the way you put this.

post #102 of 151

We normally spend around $350-$400 per kid.  We include lots of clothes and books.  We re-up the art supplies (more pricey ones now that 1 of my kids is really into oil painting), and get art kits (we have one who loves paint by numbers).  We buy warm items for doing chores in the cold, and items for the kids to give to or use for their animals (like a good milking pail or chew sticks for the guinea pigs).  We do buy some special items they really want (like a bike, mp3 player, special Lego kit), and then Santa brings one present each.  I use ThredUP for alot of the younger ones' clothing.

 

This year is different.  Very different.  They will get new long underwear, socks, underwear, gloves, and hats because they really need them.  They will each get one item they really want, and the one item from Santa.  Maybe a couple of books and a few tubes of paint.  Finances are different, but so are the needs and wants of our kids.  They don't need anything but the clothes, and they don't really want much of anything this year (they each put 3 things on their list).  I'm hoping to get them each something special for their bdays this year (Jan. and Feb.) if we can't at Christmas.  They understand and they are perfectly ok with it.  My son told me yesterday that it's the fun stuff we do that he remembers (quite cool coming from a 10 year old) like baking cookies and stuff like that.

 

I love my kids so much.  They are what make our Christmas rock.

post #103 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaMadly View Post

I apologize in advance; this is probably the snottiest post I've made here on MDC, and I'm aiming it only at a few of the members who posted on this thread.  I wonder if the posters who are so shocked at high dollar amounts here realize they sound as though they're making assumptions about what kind of human beings are created as a result.  Basically, it's as if parents who spend a good deal of money are ruining the human beings their children could become.  Back to my regularly scheduled reply:

 

Maybe DH and I will end up holding the thread record.  This year's spending will end up breaking four digits USD per kid.  They are 18 and 22, living and attending school on the opposite coast of the U.S.  We paid for their travel home and back, spent a couple hundred each on clothes, and will also spend a couple hundred on electronics, bicycle accessories, books, music / movies.  Oh, and we also pay whatever tuition isn't covered by financial aid.  And DS1's off-campus rent.  Sooooo . . . their work ethics, compassion, integrity, warmth, courtesy, and social consciences must be flukes, because their parents spent a lot of money on them.  Our sons must be the most materialistic, selfish creatures to be walking the surface of this planet.


FWIW, if I could afford it, ds1's gifts would be in the four digits this year, too. I'd like to be able to get him a decent laptop, as well as his weights, and something "from Santa" (no - he doesn't do Santa, anymore, but we still do it with the littles)...and I always do a stocking. So, if I could swing the laptop, I'd probably be spending in the four digits, too. And, if he was going to school out of the province, I'd fly him home, if at all possible, too!

 

post #104 of 151

I will just say that our family is big into Dave Ramsey and we are debt free. Maybe that is why I don't see the big deal in cash flowing a christmas for children that monetarily seems far fetched for some?? I dunno. What I do know is that i see both sides of the argument. I however in general don't care what others give their children for christmas! Some dansko clogs for my young adult daughter? Why not? By then she will surely know that she couldn't afford them on her own or how long it might have taken her too. I don't think thats spoiling her. I think thats buying a gift. Period. Christmas isn't about the gifts and it isn't about worrying about how other families give. Its about giving and togetherness. Its about the food people;)

post #105 of 151


Me too!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post


FWIW, if I could afford it, ds1's gifts would be in the four digits this year, too. I'd like to be able to get him a decent laptop, as well as his weights, and something "from Santa" (no - he doesn't do Santa, anymore, but we still do it with the littles)...and I always do a stocking. So, if I could swing the laptop, I'd probably be spending in the four digits, too. And, if he was going to school out of the province, I'd fly him home, if at all possible, too!

 



 

post #106 of 151

We are spending just under $100/ child for the 4 older ones.  DD3 will be only 8mo and doesn't need much at this point, so she'll be getting small mama-made toys: wood teething rings, a floppy Waldorf baby, handknit mittens, and some clothes since she's a different season than my other 2 DDs.  For our other 4, half of their gifts are practical, larger Klean Kanteens with handknit carriers, 3 prs of pjs (they all had major growth spurts this year yikes.gif), handknit hats.  The other half are toys, Playmobil sets, princess dolls and accessories, lots of homemade toys (hobby horse, knit dress up knight chainmail, baby doll clothes and accessories).

post #107 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3timesamom View Post

Its about the food people;)



joy.gif

 

The food. The people. The lights and trees. The music. Those things are the first things I think of when I think of Christmas. Then, I think about gifts.

 

I'm looking forward to paying off our minivan, so that we can put a bit more in our donations budget next year. I'd really like to be able to sponsor a family. We can't do a family the same size as ours (the sponsorship guidelines include $50/per family member in grocery store gift cards, as well as the gifts), but we could do a smaller one.

post #108 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by FillingMyQuiver View Post

We are spending just under $100/ child for the 4 older ones.  DD3 will be only 8mo and doesn't need much at this point, so she'll be getting small mama-made toys: wood teething rings, a floppy Waldorf baby, handknit mittens, and some clothes since she's a different season than my other 2 DDs.  For our other 4, half of their gifts are practical, larger Klean Kanteens with handknit carriers, 3 prs of pjs (they all had major growth spurts this year yikes.gif), handknit hats.  The other half are toys, Playmobil sets, princess dolls and accessories, lots of homemade toys (hobby horse, knit dress up knight chainmail, baby doll clothes and accessories).


Where did you find the chain mail? Did you make it?

post #109 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post


Where did you find the chain mail? Did you make it?



Yes, I'm making it.  I found a knitting pattern, but I did also find one for sale here  If you knit or crochet, here's a couple patterns:

 

http://seilerclan.blogspot.com/2007/11/crochet-chanimail-hood.html

 

http://whirlnpurl.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html

 

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/knight-costume

 

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/knitted-chain-maille-helmet-pattern

post #110 of 151

The holiday season - It is about the food, the lights, the holiday kindness, time with friends, taking a step back from school and work, baking, traditions, etc. Totally.

 

I will also admit that for me - Christmas morning is all about the presents, the presents, the presents joy.gif

 

I love it, I love seeing the look on Dh and Ds's face, I love that DS still might believe a little in the magic of Santa, and I love love love playing with him and his new toys. I admit that with no shame, and I refuse to be apologetic. I have one child and he won't always be a child. Bring on the Legos baby!!!!!!

I don't think it makes me materialistic. We do not celebrate Christmas day in a religious way. 

post #111 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post

The holiday season - It is about the food, the lights, the holiday kindness, time with friends, taking a step back from school and work, baking, traditions, etc. Totally.

I will also admit that for me - Christmas morning is all about the presents, the presents, the presents joy.gif

I love it, I love seeing the look on Dh and Ds's face, I love that DS still might believe a little in the magic of Santa, and I love love love playing with him and his new toys. I admit that with no shame, and I refuse to be apologetic. I have one child and he won't always be a child. Bring on the Legos baby!!!!!!
I don't think it makes me materialistic. We do not celebrate Christmas day in a religious way. 

That really is the best part - the excitement on their faces. I love that DD still thinks it is cool for mom to make her things. smile.gif I admit I still like getting gifts, but seeing her face when she opens her gifts is where the joy is.
post #112 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by FillingMyQuiver View Post



Yes, I'm making it.  I found a knitting pattern, but I did also find one for sale here  If you knit or crochet, here's a couple patterns:

 

http://seilerclan.blogspot.com/2007/11/crochet-chanimail-hood.html

 

http://whirlnpurl.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html

 

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/knight-costume

 

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/knitted-chain-maille-helmet-pattern



Oh, those are awesome. My knitting is too feeble to attempt them. I purchased a knit helment off of etsy last week but I haven't seen armour anywhere. I did try and get it done special order but I couldn't get my idea across. This will be very helpful.

 

 

post #113 of 151
I have an 11 yo ds fo whom christmas was an indulgent, presents to the ceiling event. Between family and us, thousands were spent. I spent months before researching gift ideas and then months afterward trying to find room for all this stuff lol! Since having my other 2ds (2 and 4), Christmas gifts have dwindled.

I am trying to simplify our lives by reducing things. I also dont ike the "expectation" from my kids that they are entitled to a mountain of gifts. I also am disgusted with the commercialization - I grew up with it but now see it for what it is(watch "the story of stuff to see about planned consumerism). When I see those black friday commercials with the crazed moms shopping, it disturbs me that this is the portrait they are painting of mothers.

This year, they will each get a "stocking" from Santa. It's pretty fun, actually, picking up little goodies to fill the stockings with- specialty organic candies, wooden handmade etsy toys and games, whistles, wool gloves, etc. Not junk or cheap stocking stuffers. Each stocking will probably be about $40-$50. 11 yo ds is also getting 12 weeks of baseball camp, which costs $200. And an iphone but that was free.smile.gif

Under the tree will be gifts from grandparents, aunts uncles etc- probably about 6 for each kid.

Gift giving to other friends/family also used to be big dollar- but we are making handmade ornaments and food items this year.

I dont think its wrong to spend alot- my son certainly has fond memories of those days and isnt spoiled or damaged by it. As long as gifts are given in love and not out of duty, I think its all good:)
Edited by valsblondies - 12/2/11 at 9:14am
post #114 of 151

500 for two daughters, 8 and 5.

 

One got a breyer horse barn on Craigslist for 50 so far, and some Melissa and doug horses for 20.  Now I need to find big horses to fit the barn and some "humans" to go along.

 

My little one is going to have a playmobil Christmas, and she really wants "rainbow in my room" which gets horrific review, but we will see.

 

I also want some wood blocks but can't bear to spend 200 on these, so waiting for something to come along on Craigslist hopefully.  This may put me out of budget but I am okay with that.

 

500 is goal though.

post #115 of 151

Probably end up spending about $75 on our almost 3yr old son (Tricycle: $30, Hand Drum $25, and a Stuffed Stocking: $20).

 

As far as spending money on my sisters...TOTALLY different story because the *receiving* part IS important to them.  3 out of the past 4yrs I tried to do handmade gifts (to sometimes save money, sometimes support local shops/knitters, give them something I created, etc). They were all really 'thoughtful,' personalized in their own way, time-consuming, and (sometimes) expensive choices, but it did NOT go over well. So last year I finally realized that for my sisters, the material 'stuff' and how much was spent on it really does matter to them.  In fact, it seems to be their love-language, so I have learned to respect that, and last year's gift choices (items new, with tags, from Amazon, etc) were well-received!

 

For my kids/family though, we don't ever want gift-getting to be the emphasis, but gift-giving (charities, and so on).  It's possible that I'm just 'jaded' from being poor as a kid and not ever experiencing a mountain of presents under the tree; however, it's more probable that it's my anti-commercialism sentiments, supported by my mom's repeated phrase: "Remember, Christmas isn't about the material things, honey." Even now, as adults, my husband and I could certainly afford to spend way more for Christmas, but we just don't - not even on eachother. We usually get token gifts to "fill the moment," I call it.  This year, I chose for myself some new earrings, and hubby will likely get himself some gift of his choice (~$50)...Each family finds what works for them. That's just what works for us. 

post #116 of 151

Oops double post - sorry.

post #117 of 151

that would be awesome...reading a post doubled....

just kidding

 

 

P.gif
post #118 of 151

As I do at least once every year, I asked dd1 and ds2 about their favourite part of Christmas. DS2 said, "Jell-O" (one of the dessert options at Christmas dinner is red, green & yellow Jell-O with whipped cream). This is pretty typical of ds2, but he's still only six, and a not very emotionally mature six at that. DD1 said "everyone has the day off work and school, so we get our whole family together all day, and then we get dinner with everybody at grandma's". This is also pretty typical. I ask them every year, sometimes more than once, just to get a feel for where their focus is, and what they're most into. Neither of them has ever given me an answer that even remotely involved presents...except the new PJs on Christmas Eve. One of them (can't remember which) told me that was their favourite part, the year we started doing it...but had said something else beforehand.

 

I've met kids who are all about the presents, and the dynamic does kind of bug me...but, ime, that mindset isn't about how much is spent, or how many gifts are given, or whatever. A couple of those kids have been in "massive pile under the tree" families, and a couple have been in families where they get one or two gifts each (financial limits). It really seems to be more about the underlying mindset around the holidays. Personally, I'm a Christmas junkie (as my mom once described me, but I can't argue it), and I love it all - the lights, the music, the tree, the crafts (and I'm not really very crafty), finding the perfect gift for everyone, the smells (evergreen, oranges, cinnamon - yay!!), stuffing stockings, the big dinner, the baking, the family outings, etc. etc. The gift exchanges are part of that, but aren't even close to being the whole thing. For some people I know, it's really all about the gifts, and everything else is secondary, and that tends to show up in their children, as well.

post #119 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

As I do at least once every year, I asked dd1 and ds2 about their favourite part of Christmas. DS2 said, "Jell-O" (one of the dessert options at Christmas dinner is red, green & yellow Jell-O with whipped cream). This is pretty typical of ds2, but he's still only six, and a not very emotionally mature six at that. DD1 said "everyone has the day off work and school, so we get our whole family together all day, and then we get dinner with everybody at grandma's". This is also pretty typical. I ask them every year, sometimes more than once, just to get a feel for where their focus is, and what they're most into. Neither of them has ever given me an answer that even remotely involved presents...except the new PJs on Christmas Eve. One of them (can't remember which) told me that was their favourite part, the year we started doing it...but had said something else beforehand.

 

I've met kids who are all about the presents, and the dynamic does kind of bug me...but, ime, that mindset isn't about how much is spent, or how many gifts are given, or whatever. A couple of those kids have been in "massive pile under the tree" families, and a couple have been in families where they get one or two gifts each (financial limits). It really seems to be more about the underlying mindset around the holidays. Personally, I'm a Christmas junkie (as my mom once described me, but I can't argue it), and I love it all - the lights, the music, the tree, the crafts (and I'm not really very crafty), finding the perfect gift for everyone, the smells (evergreen, oranges, cinnamon - yay!!), stuffing stockings, the big dinner, the baking, the family outings, etc. etc. The gift exchanges are part of that, but aren't even close to being the whole thing. For some people I know, it's really all about the gifts, and everything else is secondary, and that tends to show up in their children, as well.




The times I've caught an "all about the presents" vibe, it's been in families where the day-to-day dynamic is more about getting than giving.

post #120 of 151

I agree that the fun activities and spending time together as a family is more important than gifts. However, I'm still spending about $100 each on my kids. Half of that is going towards new warm high-pile blankets for the winter. They are also getting puzzles, art supplies and a couple toys. Most of their gifts I've gotten on sale and I started buying in September to lessen the burden.

 

 

   

 

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