Sleep safety questions

[MrsSlocombe]

I just read a book about infant care by the respected author Penelope Leach.  I liked it, but I was surprised to see that two things I thought were safe, supposedly cause SIDS and should be avoided.  They are:

1)  Letting the baby sleep (day or night) without adult supervision before six months, regardless of how safe the crib is.  She said that nighttime sleep should be in the same room with the parents, and that naps should also be "supervised" - seemingly, with parents right there in the room, not just the house (duh - of course I wouldn't leave the house).

2)  Putting the baby to sleep in "outdoor clothes."  This is left vague, and perhaps just means jackets and snowsuits, but could it mean no regular pants and tee-shirts/onesies, as babies would normally wear during the day, indoors and out?

What do you think about these supposed dangers?  Am I interpreting them incorrectly?  (Well, the no nighttime sleep away from parents before six months is pretty black and white.)  Do you follow these rules, yourself?

(My baby is due in June.)

[gumshoegirl007]

On #1, I'd interpret "supervised" being to mean during daytime naps that a baby monitor should be used so that you can hear if there is breathing difficulty.  We co-sleep and have since the day our baby was born so she's never slept at night unsupervised.  During the day, she naps in a variety of places (carrier, my lap, beside me on my bed, in her crib/pack n' play) and I'd say I would have been in the same room as her for the majority of them.  We don't have a baby monitor as our house is what my son likes to call a fishbowl - you can hear everything from everywhere.  When she's sleeping on her own the maximum nap I get is 40 minutes, but if she's on or beside me, I can get up to 2 hours (hence why there's so much supervised napping).

On #2, I'd interpet it as outdoor clothes as in jackets, coats, snowsuits etc.  I believe this is because of the overheating risk that is associated with SIDS.  I wouldn't say that it belongs to day clothing.  Usually I do observe this rule.  If she falls sleep in the car seat with her jacket on, I'll leave it on while she finishes her nap as I leave her in the car seat and I'm sitting right there beside her in the house.  She's not much of a napper, however, and it will only be for 10 or 20 minutes max.

[prothyraia]

I don't know anything about Penelope Leach, but I've always done both of those things.  I assume the outside clothes thing is related to overheating.  Not allowing unsupervised sleep I've always chalked up to my own paranoia (baby monitor doesn't make me feel better!), but it also seems to help babies get used to sleeping in less-than-quiet environments.  We have the babe sleep in a bassinette, pack-n-play, moses basket, whatever out in the living room during the day.  I'm not *always* in the same room, but often.

[Megan73]

Interesting. Where I live, the standard public health advice is that the baby should share a bedroom (but not a bed) with mom and dad for the first six months to prevent SIDS. We ignored the no bedsharing advice but our little guy definitely didn't sleep alone before six months.

[MrsSlocombe]

Thanks, guys.  I think I had just misinterpreted the clothing thing, and it really is no problem.  I wasn't planning to put the baby down in a jacket, anyway.  The supervised sleep thing, however, may seriously change our plans.  I suppose there is no point in even putting together the nursery if we won't be able to use it.  I don't want to look at it longingly for six long months!

[gumshoegirl007]

While the baby has yet to sleep for a night in her room, the nursery is my favourite place in the house.  We spend many hours in the glider there - sleeping, reading books, eating - and playing on the floor.  I love that we have space to put all of her stuff and a dedicated play space.  So if you think of the space as being more multi-purpose, it may be handy to have if you have the space.

[Adaline'sMama]

No unsupervised naps before 6 months? I would never get anything done. Naptime is when I pull weeds from my garden, clean out my car, talk on the phone, hang out with DH on the porch and have a beer, ect. We often use a baby monitor to see if the kid cries, but not really to make sure they are breathing. I usually check every 10-20 minutes, but if I never left my infant unsupervised I would literally never get some things done.

I do agree with no sleeping in outside clothing. We always undress as soon as we come inside though. I dont put babies in coats/snowsuits/hats in the carseat, but Id imagine that some people do and then use a bucket seat and when their kid falls asleep in the car they just pop them out and bring them in the house- coat still on. For naps during the first 6 months we always just laid her down in the bassinet part of the pack n play with no blankets, stuffed animals, ect and appropriately dressed.

[MrsSlocombe]

Thanks, guys.  Though I knew there were parents who chose to co-sleep, I thought the bedside bassinet was something that a) only lasted for a month or two, and b) was optional.  Gumshoegirl007, you're right that we will need a place for all the other stuff, even if the nursery won't be a sleeping place until later.

[justrose13]

mrsslocombe, just chiming in with my I was going to be one of those moms who kept the baby in a bassinet bedside until around 6 months old the transition to his own room/crib just down the "hall" (literally 20 feet away from bed to bed). he had none of it. he wasn't going to sleep anywhere without me from day one. I suppose I could have sleep trained him and taught him to give up on getting me to respond to his needs but I was NOT going to do that. so after a few weeks, he was in bed with us. still is. I struggled with the fact that this wasn't what we planned for 6 months. "he was supposed to be in his room by now", "this wasn't how it was supposed to be", etc. I just recently got over it. DP sleeps on the couch now, DS and I in our bed. ideal? no. is this what DS needs? yes. in the long run, it won't matter that this is what we did. my point here is that the best laid plans can often go out the window. just sayin', if I had realized sooner that what I had planned might not be what DS had in mind, I wouldn't have been so miserable about it for so long. while I miss sleeping with DP like crazy, I adore the sweet sleep I get with my son. good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!

[MrsSlocombe]

Thanks, Werhli.  I just had another thought:  even with the baby in the same room, if I am asleep, how am I supposed to know that SIDS is striking?  In SIDS, the baby doesn't cry.  If they did, they would be breathing, and there would be no SIDS.  Are mothers really so attuned to babies that they can be awakened by the sound of a baby not breathing?  Is this true for other caregivers, such as fathers?

[justrose13]

the thing about it is that if the baby is in the room with you, your body rythym keeps her system regulated. does that make sense? in other words, she won't "forget" to breathe because her body is syncing to yours (or anyone else in the room). and as far as hearing her stop breathing... well, I'm not sure but you will be amazed at just how attuned you become to her, even in your sleep!

[gumshoegirl007]

I'm wondering if it's actually breastfeeding (which is linked to a deceased risk of SIDS) that's really responsible for mom and baby being so aware of each other even in sleep?  We bed share (me, DW and baby) and I am aware of the baby all night long. There's an alignment of sleep/wake cycles that happen between the birth mama and her baby when breastfeeding.  I know when she moves, is restless, fidgety or needs something. 

My wife, who didn't birth the baby, doesn't have any of that.  Heck, one night I was downstairs and the baby started to cry right next to my DW and DW didn't even wake up!  Yes, she's a sound sleeper, but for the first year of our lives with our adopted son, she'd wake up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night if he got out of bed and started to walk down the hallway.

[MrsSlocombe]

Thanks, Wehrli, that's interesting.  I'll have to look more into that.  It must be the case that a baby's system is at least mostly self-regulating, since SIDS is so rare, and even when it does occur, it doesn't usually happen to the baby the first night they're in their own room.  The baby somehow remembers to breathe on most nights.  Naturally, though, even one night of not breathing = death and the end of the world for the family, so if lack of breathing role models is the cause, I would like to prevent it.

Gumshoegirl007, you are probably onto something.  I will be breastfeeding on demand, though I'm a little nervous about all these stories of breastfed infants still getting up in the middle of the night for feedings at age one or older.  I suppose it's natural and can't be helped if I don't want to use formula.  (I am happy to breastfeed until age two, but with all the other food they're getting at age six months and up, I had hoped that all eating and drinking could move to daytime earlier than one year.)  If you are aware of the baby all night long, are you completely exhausted by morning?  Do you have any tips on sustaining a mother's energy?

[ICUmum]

 I will be breastfeeding on demand, though I'm a little nervous about all these stories of breastfed infants still getting up in the middle of the night for feedings at age one or older.  I suppose it's natural and can't be helped if I don't want to use formula.  (I am happy to breastfeed until age two, but with all the other food they're getting at age six months and up, I had hoped that all eating and drinking could move to daytime earlier than one year.)  If you are aware of the baby all night long, are you completely exhausted by morning?  Do you have any tips on sustaining a mother's energy?

My DD is 5 months old- we coslept until 4 months. I had to go back to work and because she was not a good sleeper, I tried the crib for one night just to see if she would sleep and she loved it- slept much better and will not sleep with me anymore, not even for naps, sigh. Hard for me but better for her I guess. She still wakes to feed and now I have to get out of bed to feed her- up to 3 times a night- it is amazing how well you can function on a broken nights sleep! If you are Cosleeping, you can feed the baby side lying and doze off while they are eating, which was my favourite way to feed her, but even with me having to get up to feed her multiple times, and still having to be up at 5am for a 12 hour shift- I feel almost the same as I did before I had her! Your body really gets used to it, and you forget what actually sleeping through the night is. I always tell my DH that it is not the quantity of sleep, but the quality! Sometimes a solid 3 hours feels like an eternity =) Good luck! 

[MrsSlocombe]

Originally Posted by ICUmum 

 I will be breastfeeding on demand, though I'm a little nervous about all these stories of breastfed infants still getting up in the middle of the night for feedings at age one or older.  I suppose it's natural and can't be helped if I don't want to use formula.  (I am happy to breastfeed until age two, but with all the other food they're getting at age six months and up, I had hoped that all eating and drinking could move to daytime earlier than one year.)  If you are aware of the baby all night long, are you completely exhausted by morning?  Do you have any tips on sustaining a mother's energy?

My DD is 5 months old- we coslept until 4 months. I had to go back to work and because she was not a good sleeper, I tried the crib for one night just to see if she would sleep and she loved it- slept much better and will not sleep with me anymore, not even for naps, sigh. Hard for me but better for her I guess. She still wakes to feed and now I have to get out of bed to feed her- up to 3 times a night- it is amazing how well you can function on a broken nights sleep! If you are Cosleeping, you can feed the baby side lying and doze off while they are eating, which was my favourite way to feed her, but even with me having to get up to feed her multiple times, and still having to be up at 5am for a 12 hour shift- I feel almost the same as I did before I had her! Your body really gets used to it, and you forget what actually sleeping through the night is. I always tell my DH that it is not the quantity of sleep, but the quality! Sometimes a solid 3 hours feels like an eternity =) Good luck! 

Wow - wow, wow, wow!  Getting up at 5:00 AM for a 12 hour shift after getting up three times to nurse?  Hats off to you!  My new strategy is to not gripe about my sleep when there are mothers who have to work such long days.  I'm taking two years off, myself, and, as such, have no room to complain.  (Please tell me it's not every day, or at least that your husband has gourmet suppers waiting for you when you get home, and then does the dishes and gives you a little massage.)

[ICUmum]

Originally Posted by MrsSlocombe 

Wow - wow, wow, wow!  Getting up at 5:00 AM for a 12 hour shift after getting up three times to nurse?  Hats off to you!  My new strategy is to not gripe about my sleep when there are mothers who have to work such long days.  I'm taking two years off, myself, and, as such, have no room to complain.  (Please tell me it's not every day, or at least that your husband has gourmet suppers waiting for you when you get home, and then does the dishes and gives you a little massage.)

Yes, it is only twice a week! While DH waits to get accepting into a school. He is a SAHD and cooks almost all the meals and does the grocery shopping- not what we both wanted at this point but it works for now! And we are so very blessed with our LO. And yes, I do get my foot and back massages!